How to be happy

[Trilby]

no one said you didn't have real problems.

I said the AUTHOR didn't make me feel it.

So sue me.

sheesh.

ETA: "suicidal ideation" with or without any other symptom(s) is sufficient for admission to a psych ward.

[Dagney]

Not that it has much to do with the 75 posts that have transpired since the original - (which have been interesting reading, none the less!) But one thing I 'do' to be happier - is share some happy with the people around me - even if they're strangers. There's a project going on - called HopeRevo (hoperevo.com) that encourages folks to leave uplifting notes where others will find them. I've started doing this over the past few months, as well as leaving encouraging notes on my credit card slips when I'm signing out at a restaraunt - it generally leaves the recipient with a smile, and adds a bit more positive into the world.

But yeah, folks who seem to have the 'be all end all' answer to being happy - don't often have much of a clue as to how difficult life can be at times.

[Shawnee123]

Dagney, that is good advice. It costs us nothing to take a few extra seconds to acknowledge someone. A few years ago my New Year's resolution was to remember to fill out a comment card, or tell a manager, or something along those lines, when I was pleased with the service and help I was given.

I know what it means to me when I am thanked by a student, and I can see that I really helped, or made their day better.

Since then, I still make a conscious effort to appreciate those kinds of things and let them know that I appreciated them. It makes me happy to do so.

[skysidhe]

Originally Posted by dar512

Irony: Well-intended essay on how to be happy results in 62 posts of argument and acrimony.

smart sarcasm about the irony makes me feel happy

[Sundae]

I'd also like to reiterate that my flippant attitude was not intended to be an "I'm the only one with problems" pissing contest. If women can even have pissing contests... rate of flow? wiping skills?

I walked out of what everyone who knew me thought was a perfect life. I had a house, two cats, a wonderful job (which had changed completely by the time I walked out, partly precipitating the crisis) and a husband who adored me. I had a circle of friends that I trusted, and who trusted me. Probably only one who would have buried a body for me, but intelligent, funny and decent people - I didn't find their like til I came here.

By the time I walked, I was desperately unhappy. In hindsight it was the seond evidence of my mental health problems. But at the time it seemed arbitrary and hateful to people who knew me. My choices at that time have repercussions today.

So I do understand about people looking in from the outside not knowing the full story. And I do appreciate that advice can seem facile to those it doesn't help (there's a wonderful poem by U A Fanthorpe about Patience Strong.)

I'm not saying much in conclusion. Just that I wouldn't have the same reaction to personal advice. Or if a friend (if I had one) told me they were unhappy in their life. Just that I suppose the mess I seem to have fallen into with no particular effort has probably forever coloured my views on this subject. So don't tase me, bro.

[DanaC]

Interesting little piece on the BBC News website about happiness. According to this article most people get happier as they get older:

Most people get happier as they grow older, studies on people aged up to their mid-90s suggest.

Despite worries about ill health, income, changes in social status and bereavements, later life tends to be a golden age, according to psychologists.

They found older adults generally make the best of the time they have left and have learned to avoid situations that make them feel sad or stressed.

You can read the rest of it here : http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/health/8183522.stm

[monster]

Originally Posted by Glinda

My solution to finding happiness was to walk away from "traditional life." By this, I mean the usual: living in a city, commuting to/from work with a million other sad lemmings, doing a job that you don't really care that much about (or actively HATE) for 40 hours a week so you can have two days off to do pretty much nothing of interest or value, before you have to get up again on Monday morning and repeat the drudgery for yet another week.

Sure, I had a gorgeous condo and made $42,000/year, but was I really happy? Not for a second.

So I chucked it all. Moved to the country, planted a garden (or four). Created a HOME - a forever place. Found a pet-sitting job (great work, but quite sporadic), got some writing gigs, took on other part-time jobs as needed/available. Scrambling most of the time for work (the ultra-sucky economy isn't helping at all), but somehow managing to keep afloat.

Today, I haven't a spare nickle to my name, but I've discovered that nothing makes me happier than having a spastic chicken follow me around the yard as I tend my garden. Seriously. Sometimes, I just sit on the porch swing and drink it all in, astounded that such simple things can be so rewarding.

Life is GOOOOD.

Originally Posted by Brianna

I have done very much the same. All 'cept the spastic chicken

And there's your problem. You need a spastic chicken. You should make that your new user title, and meanwhile I'll start a Spastic Chicken For Brianna Fund (SpaCFoB)

Originally Posted by SteveDallas

The Onion. Possibly NSFW language aka the F word.

tff I can think of a few people who need a dose of that

[Glinda]

Everybody should have a spastic chicken. Makes life soooo much better!

[monster]

is a plastic chicken close enough?

[Glinda]

Originally Posted by monster

is a plastic chicken close enough?

Will it attack the front door, like a proper spastic chicken should?

[piercehawkeye45]

Originally Posted by Dagney

But yeah, folks who seem to have the 'be all end all' answer to being happy - don't often have much of a clue as to how difficult life can be at times.

So true. One thing I've learned is right when you think you have something like this (happiness, women, etc) figured out, it is inevitable that you will be knocked on your ass in the near future.

This article has some nice pointers but these aren't anything that will get you out of a depression, clinical or not. Personally, I have found that self-examination works best for me since it forces myself to become humble and work on areas that I feel I need to improve on. This allows me to feel that I am accomplishing something and giving myself a sense of control, which usually helps me get out of dark mindsets.

Clinical depression is another story all together though....