Funny/Embarrassing things they say

[monster]

Hector again....

It transpires today that he'd misread/misunterstood the thing about monkey flinging feces -he talked about "monkeys flinging faces" and when gently corrected, he revealed that it wasn't just a mispronunciation, he thought monkeys were reknowned for pulling funny faces at people. He was horrified by the idea that they like to hurl poop!

bless his little cotton socks.

[footfootfoot]

We've been watching a lot of Gilbert and Sullivan's The Mikado lately and G-Max (2 1/2) is very much up on the number: Three Little Maids From School Are We.

So for most of today I've been accosted with "I want to watch the Avocados." You can guess her favorite snack.

[Clodfobble]

Recently we've been numbering Minifob's rules to help him script (and thus better respond to) them. Rule #1 is "Stay right by Mommy," rule #2 is "Walk don't run," etc.

So yesterday I asked him if he was ready to go run errands with me, and he starts excitedly reciting his rules as he's putting on his shoes. Suddenly he frowns, and says very seriously to me, "Go WALK errands."

My sister has a four year old son. They were getting ready to walk out the door. He asked her "Where are we going?" She said "Crazy and you are driving" He ran to his room and got his stuffed puppy and said "Doggie go to crazy to?"

[xoxoxoBruce]

Welcome to the Cellar, rebekram.
A little late... I remember making a mental note when I approved your posts, but I think I've been touched by the hand of God 'cause my memory is getting kind of holy.

[squirell nutkin]

MIllimeter, 2 1/2 told me "Milk is descended from cows."

[Griff]

Ha! Nice one.

[squirell nutkin]

Cleaning out some old files and came across this letter I wrote on behalf of the inchling, sometime last year: His words in bold.

Dear Topgear folks,



For several weeks my five year old son and I have enjoyed watching TopGear on your website since we don't get BBC where we live. Our son gets to watch a video once a week, usually BBC's Planet Earth Series or recently the BBC Dinosaur series. Alternatively, he can elect to watch several top gear clips form your website. Limited to an hour a week, you can imagine, it is not lightly that he makes his choice.



While dinosaurs are massive and gorey they are no match for Jeremy, James, Hammond, and of course, The Stig.



Last week we searched for new clips and were saddened and dismayed by having an obnoxious and unwanted advertisement forced upon us whenever we wanted to watch a clip. We will suffer banners and popups, but this was beyond the pale. After enduring the mind numbing clip twice my son began to cry and insist that we switch it off since we couldn't disable the advertisement.



Tearfully, he told me the following and asked me to convey his thoughts and feelings to you. Quoting:



"Tell them they should be put in jail. They should be cut in half and have their heads cut off. And their hearing should be lost and their mouths clogged up so they can't speak. They should have their eyes cut out.

"Hide this from mom 'cause she doesn't like mean stuff. Those guys are the stupidest guys in the world."



So there you have it, a five year old's unvarnished opinion. Far from inducing him to ever want anything made by Atari, you have driven him back into the arms of dinosaurs and poisoned the well of his fondness for Jeremy, James, Hammond, and The Stig. The look of questioning and hesitation on his face when he quotes Clarkson: "HELP! I'm being eaten by dogs, I'm a pregnant woman and I'm all alone." is sad. And if that weren't bad enough you have compelled him to keep his feelings secret from his mother.



You made a five year old cry.



Woefully yours,



footfootfoot


PS Happy update! It seems as though the advertisements are gone. I will tell my son when he wakes up from his nap.

[lumberjim]

you should be on tv

[glatt]

I wasn't expecting to snort so loudly when I was reading this last night. Mrs. glatt commented on it. Funny post, nutkin.

[skysidhe]

[squirell nutkin]

Can we addd "Gross things they do" to this thread?
The inchling was just ferreting around in the wastebasket a moment ago and I heard some paper rustling. I turned to see him pulling some discarded gum from between two pieces of an envelope and sticking it in his mouth.

WTF? He also eats boogers. His mom's side of the family.

[Sheldonrs]

Originally Posted by squirell nutkin

...He also eats boogers. His mom's side of the family.

Why is there someone named boogers on Mom's side of the family?

[squirell nutkin]

We're not actually from Kentucky, if that's what you're implying.

[Tulip]

This is probably not as funny to you guys as it is to me. But it is funny to me and I want to tell you about it. Anyways, the other day, my nephew got upset at my mom because he thought she had let the washer finish its spinning cycle. He loves to watch the washer do the spinning cycle and had the machine stopped so he could do something else first (I forgot what). When he saw that the machine had already completed its cycle, he started to cry and yell at my mom, "Grandma, why you spin?, why you...!.why you...!.YOU MONSTER!" He's five but his speech isn't too advanced. I thought it was hilarious that he called her a monster. Luckily she didn't understand him and didn't quite understand why he was upset at her for she wasn't the one who let the washer complete its spinning cycle.