Funny/Embarrassing things they say

[BigV]

Do you think, maybe she's Twisted?

Lambert, Hendricks and Ross - Twisted

My analyst told me (what?)
that I was right out of my head.
The way he described it (how?)
he said I'd be better dead than live.
I didn't listen to his jive.
I knew all along
he was all wrong.
And I knew that he thought (what?)
I was crazy but I'm not,
Oh no (on, no.) (oh no?)

My analyst told me (what?)
that I was right out of my head.
He said I'd need treatment, (yeah?)
but I'm not that easily led.
He said I was the type
that was most inclined
when out of his sight
to be out of my mind.
And he thought I was nuts. (nuts?)
No more ifs or ands or buts.
Oh no. (oh, no.) (oh no?)

They say as a child
I appeared a little bit wild
with all my crazy ideas.
But I knew what was happening,
I knew I was a genius...
What's so strange when you know
that you're a wizard at three?
I knew that this was meant to be.

But I heard little children
were supposed to sleep tight.
That's why I drank a fifth of vodka one night.
My parents got frantic,
didn't know what to do.
But I saw some crazy scenes
before I came to.
Now do you think I was crazy?
I may have been only three
but I was swingin'!

They all laughed at A. Graham Bell.
They all laughed at Edison,
and also at Einstein.
So why should I feel sorry
If they just couldn't understand
the reasoning and the logic
that went on in my head.
I had a brain.
It was insane.
Oh they used to laugh at me
when I refused to ride
on all those double decker buses
all because there was no driver on the top!
(no driver on the top? this chick is twisted) (she must be out of her head)
(what's the matter with her?)

My analyst told me (what?)
That I was right out of my head.
The way he described it (how?)
he said I'd be better dead than live.
I didn't listen to his jive,
I knew all along
he was all wrong
and I knew that he thought (what?)
I was crazy.

But I'm not.
Oh no... (oh no!) (oh no?)

My analyst told me (what?)
that I was right out of my head.
but I said, Dear Doctor, (yeah?)
I think that it's you instead.
'cause I
have got a thing
that's unique and new.
It proves that I'll have
the last laugh on you,
'cause instead of one head (one head?)
heheheheheh,

I got two.

And you know two heads are better than one.

[Sundae]

Originally Posted by footfootfoot

"The moon sends a particular ion into my brain which helps me to think."

I demand my moon ions right now.
Along with my kitty bonsai and anything else I may choose to add to the list.

[Gravdigr]

I WANT MOON IONS!! AND I WANT THEM NOW!!

[Gravdigr]

Originally Posted by Lola Bunny

...he said to me, "Wow, you look beautiful."..."You know you are."

Well, you are. And you do.

[Happy Monkey]

How about bloomin' moon ions?

[footfootfoot]

Good one HM!

[Aliantha]

Aden drove his girlfriend to a party last night. As they were leaving, hand in hand, he turned to her and said, "My car looks so beautiful in the moonlight."

Yeah, nice one son.

[Gravdigr]

[BigV]

Originally Posted by Aliantha

Aden drove his girlfriend to a party last night. As they were leaving, hand in hand, he turned to her and said, "My car looks so beautiful in the moonlight."

Yeah, nice one son.

TOTAL GUY MOVE!

He's obviously speaking from his heart. How touching.

[Aliantha]

I know, right? lol. It's like a line from a sitcom.

[Clodfobble]

From this evening's dinner table:

"Mommy, how come sometimes you say things in a really excited voice, but actually they aren't exciting at all?"

He's onto me.

[BigV]

BWAAAAHAHAHAHAHAHAAHA!

[Griff]

Ha!

[BigV]

Originally Posted by Clodfobble

Not something the kid said, but a story about the kid...


My stepson's mother recently let us know that she's trying to cut back on the amount of soy the boy eats, because soy contains phytoestrogens which can mimic real estrogen in the body... and, well, she's concerned that he's kind of a pansy.



I got news for you, lady. I was predicting your son would be gay from the time he was 18 months old. Ain't got nothin' to do with the soy.


The sad thing is she's a bit of a fundamentalist, and this will probably seriously harm her relationship with him when he is older. Not really my problem, though.

reminiscing in this thread. .. any updates?

[Clodfobble]

When we went to church last week, he wore his sister's crocheted, fringed scarf. I gently let him know that it was clearly a woman's scarf, and the other boys were likely to make fun of him, and I did have a different scarf he could wear if he would rather. He insisted he liked his sister's scarf best, so we let him wear it. He's 11, so no actual attractions have developed one way or the other, but he's still pretty clearly aiming in one direction.