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03-25-2016, 05:20 PM
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#1 |
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I hear them call the tide
Join Date: Dec 2005
Location: Perpetual Chaos
Posts: 30,852
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I went to Ikea today and figured out the easter story
One Sunday in Spring, Jesus and Mary-Mag went to IKEA and found a cartload of cheap storage and kitchenware. As they headed to the checkout they passed through the plant section where big frondy palms were on a great sale and Mary-Mag decided she wanted a couple of dozen to surround their little patio. Those in themselves were a cartload, but more perishable, so they left the furniture and went home with the palms. The following Friday, Mary-Mag decided it was time to go back for the furniture. The store was crazy busy and the parking lot overflowing and there were donkey jams everywhere. As yet another Ass spooked their donkey and stole the parking spot they had been waiting for, Jesus had had enough and yelled "Stick a nail in me, I'm done"
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The most difficult thing is the decision to act, the rest is merely tenacity Amelia Earhart |
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03-25-2016, 08:21 PM
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#2 |
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still says videotape
Join Date: Feb 2001
Posts: 26,813
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Is this the blasphemy thread?
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If you would only recognize that life is hard, things would be so much easier for you. - Louis D. Brandeis |
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03-27-2016, 11:06 AM
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I love it when a plan comes together.
Join Date: Oct 2009
Posts: 9,793
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A fascinating account of the IKEA-INRI merger.
Happy Easter! IKEA loves you, monster. 
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03-27-2016, 11:11 AM
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#4 | |
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I hear them call the tide
Join Date: Dec 2005
Location: Perpetual Chaos
Posts: 30,852
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Quote:
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The most difficult thing is the decision to act, the rest is merely tenacity Amelia Earhart |
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03-27-2016, 11:22 AM
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#5 |
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I love it when a plan comes together.
Join Date: Oct 2009
Posts: 9,793
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The cross kits were in Gardening with the other trellises; but, covered up under the palms. If only they had dug deeper.
It's said that Jesus was seen 3 days later, loitering in other parking lots, presumably looking for his spooked donkey. |
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03-27-2016, 11:40 AM
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#6 |
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The future is unwritten
Join Date: Oct 2002
Posts: 71,105
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Ikea's worldwide profits go to a charity in the Netherlands. The charity is operated by Ikea's owners, and has never given a dime to anyone.
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The descent of man ~ Nixon, Friedman, Reagan, Trump. |
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03-27-2016, 04:20 PM
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#7 | |
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I hear them call the tide
Join Date: Dec 2005
Location: Perpetual Chaos
Posts: 30,852
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Quote:
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The most difficult thing is the decision to act, the rest is merely tenacity Amelia Earhart |
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03-27-2016, 04:24 PM
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#8 | |
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I hear them call the tide
Join Date: Dec 2005
Location: Perpetual Chaos
Posts: 30,852
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Quote:
? Americans really hate IKEA (except on good friday), I just don't get it. I get so many unused bargains from the thrift stores -donated unused then priced really low -it's like they carry leprosy!
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The most difficult thing is the decision to act, the rest is merely tenacity Amelia Earhart |
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03-27-2016, 04:39 PM
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#9 |
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The future is unwritten
Join Date: Oct 2002
Posts: 71,105
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Because guess who has to make up the taxes they don't pay.
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The descent of man ~ Nixon, Friedman, Reagan, Trump. |
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03-27-2016, 05:04 PM
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#10 | |
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I hear them call the tide
Join Date: Dec 2005
Location: Perpetual Chaos
Posts: 30,852
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Quote:
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The most difficult thing is the decision to act, the rest is merely tenacity Amelia Earhart |
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03-27-2016, 05:07 PM
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#11 |
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I hear them call the tide
Join Date: Dec 2005
Location: Perpetual Chaos
Posts: 30,852
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....and I pay tax at the thrift store
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The most difficult thing is the decision to act, the rest is merely tenacity Amelia Earhart |
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03-27-2016, 07:25 PM
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#12 |
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The future is unwritten
Join Date: Oct 2002
Posts: 71,105
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I doubt the taxes you pay at the thrift store will cover the billions these corporations aren't.
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The descent of man ~ Nixon, Friedman, Reagan, Trump. |
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03-27-2016, 09:09 PM
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#13 |
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I hear them call the tide
Join Date: Dec 2005
Location: Perpetual Chaos
Posts: 30,852
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ya reckon?
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The most difficult thing is the decision to act, the rest is merely tenacity Amelia Earhart |
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