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05-23-2019, 10:21 AM
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#16 |
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Radical Centrist
Join Date: Jan 2001
Location: Cottage of Prussia
Posts: 31,423
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This is horrible. I am so sorry to hear of this. It's beyond words.
Please take care of yourself |
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05-23-2019, 10:25 AM
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#17 |
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I can hear my ears
Join Date: Oct 2003
Posts: 25,571
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I'm ok. Just calling my family and crushing them one by one
Spencer is with Shelby. Her sister is there I think. She was fine. We just spent Sunday together. Spencer said her browser history and search history go back 2 weeks looking at sodium nitrate dosage. Forums for pro choice suicide shit. Her decision. Not an impulse. No notes left other than I love you on a scrap of paper. I can't fix it
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This body holding me reminds me of my own mortality Embrace this moment, remember We are eternal, all this pain is an illusion ~MJKeenan |
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05-23-2019, 11:01 AM
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#18 |
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LONG LIVE KING ZIPPY! per Feetz
Join Date: Mar 2003
Location: Arkansas
Posts: 7,661
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dude im so so sorry to hear this ��
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"Success is getting what you want. Happiness is wanting what you get. " Brother Dave Gardner |
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05-23-2019, 11:07 AM
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#19 |
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Goon Squad Leader
Join Date: Nov 2004
Location: Seattle
Posts: 27,063
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Oh my God Jim!
My heart breaks for you.
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Be Just and Fear Not. |
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05-23-2019, 11:10 AM
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#20 |
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Radical Centrist
Join Date: Jan 2001
Location: Cottage of Prussia
Posts: 31,423
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Please don't blame yourself - YOU ARE A GOOD PERSON!!!! The mind is unpredictable and even the top experts can't fix thoughts.
We humans are broken from the start, we can only do what we can do. |
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05-23-2019, 11:18 AM
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#21 |
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The future is unwritten
Join Date: Oct 2002
Posts: 71,105
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Shit fuck cry, we care too, mostly for you, but for Amanda, Shelby, Spenser, family, friends, classmates, dwellers, it ripples out, it hurts, it's not fair goddamnit, all we can do is cry and wonder why, if there's something we did or could have done, thoughts of my sister rush in, fuckfuckfuckfuck how to tell you how sorry I am can't doesn't help you anyway fuck
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The descent of man ~ Nixon, Friedman, Reagan, Trump. |
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05-23-2019, 11:26 AM
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#22 |
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I can hear my ears
Join Date: Oct 2003
Posts: 25,571
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I know.
Thanks. I don't think I blame anyone really. She did this on purpose. She didn't leave any indication of why. So trying to figure that out is pure suffering. I'll try not to. I'm in a fucking daze
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This body holding me reminds me of my own mortality Embrace this moment, remember We are eternal, all this pain is an illusion ~MJKeenan |
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05-23-2019, 11:58 AM
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#23 |
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Person who doesn't update the user title
Join Date: Dec 2005
Location: La Crosse, WI
Posts: 8,924
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i'm sorry, I don't know what to say.
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Annoy the ones that ignore you!!! I live a blessed life I Love my Country, I Fear the Government!!! Heavily medicated for the good of mankind. |
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05-23-2019, 12:55 PM
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#24 |
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I can hear my ears
Join Date: Oct 2003
Posts: 25,571
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Don't feel like you have to say anything, anyone. I know you guys care and feel for me. You're part of my tribe. Some of you feel like family. This is really rough shit.
I was just thinking life was going really well lately. Monster just went through /is still going through this, and I felt helpless to help her. So don't. I'm ok. I'm going to be sad for a time. We all are. But the fucking sun will still rise.
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This body holding me reminds me of my own mortality Embrace this moment, remember We are eternal, all this pain is an illusion ~MJKeenan |
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05-23-2019, 01:03 PM
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#25 |
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™
Join Date: Jul 2003
Location: Arlington, VA
Posts: 27,717
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The whole thing is just so unbelievable. Like it can't be possible.
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05-23-2019, 03:30 PM
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#26 |
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I can hear my ears
Join Date: Oct 2003
Posts: 25,571
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She was.
 And she was  And  And  And    So beautiful. Funny. Smart. All that is gone Gone
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This body holding me reminds me of my own mortality Embrace this moment, remember We are eternal, all this pain is an illusion ~MJKeenan |
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05-23-2019, 04:01 PM
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#27 |
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Encroaching on your decrees
Join Date: Feb 2004
Location: An island within the south-west coast of Scotland
Posts: 7,016
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Oh Jim. How awful. There are no words. I lost my brother to suicide 14 years ago today. The love remains, but there are no new experiences to share. There is no bitterer loss than for a parent to outlive their child in such a way. But you are right, it was her decision. And UT is right, you are not to blame. You are a good person. X
Sent by magick
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Living it up on the edge ... of civilisation, within the southwest coast of 
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05-23-2019, 06:48 PM
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#28 |
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I love it when a plan comes together.
Join Date: Oct 2009
Posts: 9,793
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Sorry you have to endure this kind of pain Jim.
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05-23-2019, 07:52 PM
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#29 |
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still says videotape
Join Date: Feb 2001
Posts: 26,813
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Damn man. I’ve lost cousins to suicide. You won’t ever forget her. The cousin I was close to lives in me and my family we still share the stories. I’m so sorry for your pain, this is too horrible.
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If you would only recognize that life is hard, things would be so much easier for you. - Louis D. Brandeis |
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05-24-2019, 12:16 AM
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#30 | |
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The future is unwritten
Join Date: Oct 2002
Posts: 71,105
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Quote:
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The descent of man ~ Nixon, Friedman, Reagan, Trump. |
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