Funny/Embarrassing things they say

[Cloud]

"that relative on the syrup bottle"

oh, dear (wipes eyes)

[kerosene]

"Mom, do you like apartment living?"
"Well, sure, but I also like living in a house where we have our own yard"
"But, don't you like to share, Mom?"

[kerosene]

Originally Posted by SteveDallas

I can't wait to see how Young Master Dallas' teacher reacts to this bit of homework.

Forget the elephant. It didn't do much for that kid.

Every few days, he says, for no reason that we know of:
"I don't need my bwood".
When asked why or what it is about he just looks at you blankly.
It FREAKS my dad out... I LOVE it!!!

[kerosene]

Not sure if I already posted this:

Mom: "Jamey, we should go through some of your toys and determine which ones you want to give to needy kids."

Jamey (walking out of his room with his hands on his hips): "Mom, I don't want to give my toys to meaty kids!"

[smurfalicious]

God forbid I have five minutes to myself to cook dinner and put away some laundry. I could hear the dull sound of the riding lawnmower outside. Soon that sound is accompanied by others - the sound of Rob's voice... and then the sound of The Girl's. I figured it was the usual conversation between them when they did yardwork together - she's lazy and he has little patience. So I walk to the window of our bedroom on the second floor to see what kind of damage control I'm going to have to render, when look down to see Rob stopped on the mower, and The Girl standing next to him screaming her little head off.

Then I notice the bloody leg.

Approximately 1.29745 nanoseconds later I had leaped across the bedroom, across the house, flew down the stairs, and just as I opened the door, in walked The Girl - crying, hysterical, and with a bloody gash down the side of her leg.

me: "What happened?"

The Girl: "Rohimwfrok"

me: "Huh?"

The Girl: "Rob hit me with a rock"


At this point, I'm thinking WTF, why would he hit her with a rock? Why social services gotta be knocking on my door later???

And then the light bulb went off.


me: "Now this is very, very important, and I need you to think about your answer to my question very carefully. Did Rob hit you with the rock, or did the lawnmower hit you with the rock?"


Rest assured, it was the lawnmower.

[BigV]

!!

Is she ok?

[theotherguy]

The other night my thelittleguy was sleeping in our bed due to giving up his bed for the night to visiting family. He came downstairs about 15 minutes in and, looking like he is about to cry, says, "Mom, I need a tissue." My wife took him to the restroom and noticed he had blood on his lip. She asked what happened and he just started crying. "I don't know," he said. She called me in and his upper, front gums are bleeding like mad. We keep asking what happened and he kept saying he did not know. So, we decided to go back up to our room to discuss it and see if he will tell us.

Back up in our room, he kept saying he didn't know what happened to every suggestion I threw out. Hit face on headboard? Hit face on nightstand. Then, it hit me. "(Thelittleguy) were you maybe jumping on the bed?" He said, "Well, maybe." "Were you jumping on the bed and fell off?" "Well, maybe." Then, he looks at my wife and says, "One little monkey jumping on the bed. The monkey fell off and bumped his head." He then tells me that, "Maybe I fell off and hit my face on the floor. Maybe."

I cracked up. It seems he was jumping on our bed, in the dark, fell off onto the floor (on his face). He didn't want to get in trouble so he climbed back into the bed (I know this since there was blood on the sheets) and didn't come down until he was really, really in pain. Keep in mind, we are dealing with a 4 yr old here. I am not sure why he was so scared. He doesn't get spanked. He very, very good kid who rarely gets in trouble. I may be in trouble when he becomes a teenager.

[kerosene]

Aww!

I think he just really doesn't want to disappoint you. By the fact that he didn't deny jumping on the bed, I would say you are doing a good job. Sounds like it was difficult for him to tell the truth, but he still felt compelled to do so, even though he might have thought he would disappoint you.

[Clodfobble]

Wow. Your kid probably weighs what, 35 pounds? And he fell from the bed to the floor upstairs, and you didn't hear the thump? I want to live in your house. We can hear them wiggling their toes in their shoes in this house.

[Shawnee123]

The jumping on the bed reminded me of a good kid story from years ago.

A good friend (who has since passed) who was a really funny guy, dry humored, and smart. He was telling us his boys were jumping on the bed and he called their names and told them to stop. The oldest boy looked at the younger boy, rolled his eyes, and said "we better stop, I'm sure dad knows someone who died doing this."

[SteveDallas]

Originally Posted by Shawnee123

"we better stop, I'm sure dad knows someone who died doing this."

No deaths, but my cousin broke her collarbone jumping on a bed when she was about 5 or 6. I'm sure my kids are quite tired of hearing about it . . . .

[jinx]

I broke my collar bone around that age too. My mom was trying the "we'll sit here all night until you eat that" tactic at dinner. I fell asleep and fell out of my chair and <snap>. It was totally worth it...

[SteveDallas]

That sounds like something my daughter would do.

[theotherguy]

Originally Posted by Clodfobble

Wow. Your kid probably weighs what, 35 pounds? And he fell from the bed to the floor upstairs, and you didn't hear the thump? I want to live in your house. We can hear them wiggling their toes in their shoes in this house.

Actually, he barely eats and only weighs about 30 lbs. We were also laughing it up with company at the time.