How to be happy

[lumberjim]

In America, '#2' is a euphemism for poop.

[dar512]

..

[Shawnee123]

That's cute, dar.

[Glinda]

My solution to finding happiness was to walk away from "traditional life." By this, I mean the usual: living in a city, commuting to/from work with a million other sad lemmings, doing a job that you don't really care that much about (or actively HATE) for 40 hours a week so you can have two days off to do pretty much nothing of interest or value, before you have to get up again on Monday morning and repeat the drudgery for yet another week.

Sure, I had a gorgeous condo and made $42,000/year, but was I really happy? Not for a second.

So I chucked it all. Moved to the country, planted a garden (or four). Created a HOME - a forever place. Found a pet-sitting job (great work, but quite sporadic), got some writing gigs, took on other part-time jobs as needed/available. Scrambling most of the time for work (the ultra-sucky economy isn't helping at all), but somehow managing to keep afloat.

Today, I haven't a spare nickle to my name, but I've discovered that nothing makes me happier than having a spastic chicken follow me around the yard as I tend my garden. Seriously. Sometimes, I just sit on the porch swing and drink it all in, astounded that such simple things can be so rewarding.

Life is GOOOOD.

[Shawnee123]

How I be happy:

I try try try to remember, when I am decidedly unhappy, that I will be happy again. Sometimes that's the hardest part.

But right now I'm pretty damn happy so what do I know.

[Trilby]

Originally Posted by Glinda

My solution to finding happiness was to walk away from "traditional life." By this, I mean the usual: living in a city, commuting to/from work with a million other sad lemmings, doing a job that you don't really care that much about (or actively HATE) for 40 hours a week so you can have two days off to do pretty much nothing of interest or value, before you have to get up again on Monday morning and repeat the drudgery for yet another week.

Sure, I had a gorgeous condo and made $42,000/year, but was I really happy? Not for a second.

So I chucked it all. Moved to the country, planted a garden (or four). Created a HOME - a forever place. Found a pet-sitting job (great work, but quite sporadic), got some writing gigs, took on other part-time jobs as needed/available. Scrambling most of the time for work (the ultra-sucky economy isn't helping at all), but somehow managing to keep afloat.

Today, I haven't a spare nickle to my name, but I've discovered that nothing makes me happier than having a spastic chicken follow me around the yard as I tend my garden. Seriously. Sometimes, I just sit on the porch swing and drink it all in, astounded that such simple things can be so rewarding.

Life is GOOOOD.

I have done very much the same. All 'cept the spastic chicken

[classicman]

Focus, recenter, realize what is truly important is the many things you take for granted everyday. PAY ATTENTION because tone never knows when it will all be ripped from you and the "plan" you had will radically change in ways you couldn't possibly imagine.

What makes you happy is the compilation of the things that on the surface may appear mundane or unimportant ... yet they are the most important.
Drink it all up for your cup may soon be filled with a bitter reality you never thought possible.

The things that make me happy today would not have even registered on my "happiness scale" a few short months ago.

[Sundae]

I appreciate you posting the article, Cloud.
But I'm in the same mood as Bri when it comes to reading the self-satisfied journalistic smug-bombs.

We say it better in the Cellar, without anyone having to pay a dime

Originally Posted by Shawnee123

How I be happy: I try try try to remember, when I am decidedly unhappy, that I will be happy again. Sometimes that's the hardest part.

Originally Posted by classicman

What makes you happy is the compilation of the things that on the surface may appear mundane or unimportant ... yet they are the most important.

Of course, l'il Miss Bus Ephiphany Girl probably never suffered from depression. Probably was never fat, or ugly, or invisible or lonely. It's not her fault. I just have a chip on my shoulder about journalists - probably because they write for a living and I envy them

[Shawnee123]

Exactly...a general feeling of ennui and disguised disgust with yourself for being bitchy because everything on earth isn't going your way does not qualify for unhappiness. Not the kind of unhappiness that people suffering from depression go through. It all just seems a bit shallow to me.

I do agree that at times you can talk yourself through low moments: but when the demon depression sets in, there's no talking to yourself about anything.

2. Do let the sun go down on anger. I had always scrupulously aired every irritation as soon as possible, to make sure I vented all bad feelings before bedtime.

Studies show, however, that the notion of anger catharsis is poppycock.

Stop nagging. I knew my nagging wasn't working particularly well, but I figured that if I stopped, my husband would never do a thing around the house.

I mean, please.

[Trilby]

Thanks, Shawnee and Sundae, for getting my meaning. I feel Pie was offended but I meant exactly what you two just said. Li'l Miss Bus did NOT mention crippling depression or suicidal thoughts. that would have changed the game, obviously. No outward measure of 'happiness' can touch you when you are depressed. Different animal than the Bored Rich Girl Having It All syndrome.

[DanaC]

This is not a list of 'ways to cope with depression'. It's not aimed at depressives hoping for a cure. It's a general list of ways to be happy, aimed at people who, for whatever reason, just aren't.

If she'd marketed this as a sure fire way to cure depression I'd agree with every word you guys have said. But she isn't. At what point did this woman deserve the judgement of being a Bored Rich Girl Having it All ?

[Shawnee123]

Just by being made by a cookie-cutter which has mass-produced millions others just like her. I'm sticking with "wahhhh."

[DanaC]

I decided on the spot to begin a systematic study of happiness. (A little intense, I know. But that's the kind of thing that appeals to me.)

In the end, I spent a year test-driving the wisdom of the ages, current scientific studies, and tips from popular culture.

If I followed all the advice, I wanted to know, would it work?

Well, the year is over, and I can say: It did. I made myself happier. And along the way I learned a lot about how to be happier. Here are those lessons.

A cookie cutter? She never made a claim to have come up with it all herself. She claimed to have test driven some of the suggestions, including 'wisdom of the ages' and this was what she learned from it. She used herself as a test subject and came to these conclusions about which of the methods helped her.

Some of that list I would agree with. Some of it I have come to myself over the years. Faking it til you feel it can help. I find it can anyway. Not when I am in the throws of depression no...but then depression and unhappiness aren't the same thing, and, as I already said, this is a list of ways to try and be happier, not to get through depression.

[Shawnee123]

Ok, then, this:

Studies show, however, that the notion of anger catharsis is poppycock

What studies? She has a moment of enlightenment then trots out every cliche for happiness formula I've ever heard in my life. Don't go to bed angry? My grammy told me THAT when I got married. Of course, I didn't tend to get angry if hubby didn't take the trash out: I tended to concentrate on things that were actually important in life. It didn't fare well for me in the end, but I certainly didn't sit around whining that my life wasn't quite perfect enough. Meh.

[DanaC]

Originally Posted by Shawnee123

Ok, then, this:



What studies? She has a moment of enlightenment then trots out every cliche for happiness formula I've ever heard in my life. Don't go to bed angry? My grammy told me THAT when I got married. Of course, I didn't tend to get angry if hubby didn't take the trash out: I tended to concentrate on things that were actually important in life. It didn't fare well for me in the end, but I certainly didn't sit around whining that my life wasn't quite perfect enough. Meh.

If you read the piece again I think you'll find she says Do let the sun go down on anger. She's countering the popular piece of advice with her own experience of it and an (admittedly rather fleeting) reference to modern studies.


I have sat around whining that my life wasn't quite perfect enough. Many times. Of course, I wasn't 'whining' as far as I was concerned. I was just very unhappy.

Or are you suggesting that because she has what 'should' make her happy, then she has no right to be unhappy?

Besides, her start point wasn't that she was unhappy, but that she wasn't 'happy'. There's a difference. Why shouldn't she try and be happier than she is? Why shouldn't anyone try to be happier than they are?