Humor...I Need Humor... - Page 285

DanaC · 11-06-2011, 01:59 PM

Here ya go Lampy:

Lamplighter · 11-06-2011, 02:13 PM

I'll stop now...

,

DanaC · 11-06-2011, 02:42 PM

No. don't. :p

Spexxvet · 11-11-2011, 10:45 AM

What's brown and is near the piano?

The piano's stool.

What's brown and plays the piano?

Beethoven's last movement.

Sheldonrs · 11-11-2011, 01:01 PM

Herman Cain has announced the title of his autobiogra*phy: "The Audacity Of Grope".

infinite monkey · 11-11-2011, 01:06 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Sheldonrs

Herman Cain has announced the title of his autobiogra*phy: "The Audacity Of Grope".

Inspirational!

Guyute · 11-11-2011, 11:28 PM

What's brown and hangs from a tree?

Winnie's pooh.

footfootfoot · 11-12-2011, 03:47 PM

What's green and on the ice?

Peggy's Phlegm

monster · 11-14-2011, 07:11 AM

.

infinite monkey · 11-14-2011, 08:53 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by footfootfoot

What's green and on the ice?

Peggy's Phlegm

Hmm, I always heard it "What's green and skates? Peggy Phlegm."

Sheldonrs · 11-14-2011, 09:33 AM

What can you sit on, eat and brush your teeth with?

A chair, a sandwich and a toothbrush.

infinite monkey · 11-14-2011, 09:35 AM

Why did the spider cross the road?

Because he was stapled to the chicken.

monster · 11-14-2011, 09:54 AM

ashamed to admit that actually made me lol

footfootfoot · 11-14-2011, 10:45 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by infinite monkey

Why did the spider cross the road?

Because he was stapled to the chicken.

See, I'd always heard that as, Why did the punk rocker cross the road?

Because he was stapled to the chicken.

infinite monkey · 11-14-2011, 10:49 AM

My slightly different jokes are better than your slightly different jokes.

For one thing, they flow off the tongue better, and don't use extraneous words to convey what is essentially a visual joke (what is green and is ON ICE? Peggy's Phlegm? No...Peggy Phlegm. She skates, the joke is so obscure you don't need to throw a spanner in it by not exactly spelling out it's a skating thing. The joke with the last name is that you just stop...Peggy Flem...)

I picture a spider, wriggling and wriggling and tickling beside her, stapled through the middle to a chicken.

I cannot picture a punk rocker doing same.

11-11-2011, 10:45 AM	#4264
Spexxvet Makes some feel uncomfortable Join Date: Dec 2005 Posts: 10,346	What's brown and is near the piano? The piano's stool. What's brown and plays the piano? Beethoven's last movement. __________________ "I'm certainly free, nay compelled, to spread the gospel of Spex. " - xoxoxoBruce

11-11-2011, 01:01 PM	#4265
Sheldonrs Master Dwellar Join Date: Oct 2006 Location: Los Angeles, CA Posts: 4,412	Herman Cain has announced the title of his autobiogra*phy: "The Audacity Of Grope". __________________ Laugh and the world laughs with you; cry and the world laughs AT you.

11-11-2011, 11:28 PM	#4267
Guyute Gamehenge Join Date: Feb 2005 Location: Halifax, NS Posts: 168	What's brown and hangs from a tree? Winnie's pooh. __________________ It's Really Plain and Easy To See, The Family grows like fungus on a tree.

11-12-2011, 03:47 PM	#4268
footfootfoot To shreds, you say? Join Date: Aug 2004 Location: in the house and on the street-how many, many feet we meet! Posts: 18,449	What's green and on the ice? Peggy's Phlegm __________________ The internet is a hateful stew of vomit you can never take completely seriously. - Her Fobs

11-14-2011, 07:11 AM	#4269
monster I hear them call the tide Join Date: Dec 2005 Location: Perpetual Chaos Posts: 30,852	. Attached Images __________________ The most difficult thing is the decision to act, the rest is merely tenacity Amelia Earhart

11-06-2011, 02:13 PM	#4262
Lamplighter Person who doesn't update the user title Join Date: Jun 2010 Location: Bottom lands of the Missoula floods Posts: 6,402	I'll stop now... ,

11-14-2011, 09:33 AM	#4271
Sheldonrs Master Dwellar Join Date: Oct 2006 Location: Los Angeles, CA Posts: 4,412	What can you sit on, eat and brush your teeth with? A chair, a sandwich and a toothbrush. __________________ Laugh and the world laughs with you; cry and the world laughs AT you.

11-14-2011, 09:35 AM	#4272
infinite monkey Person who doesn't update the user title Join Date: Mar 2011 Posts: 13,002	Why did the spider cross the road? Because he was stapled to the chicken.

11-14-2011, 09:54 AM	#4273
monster I hear them call the tide Join Date: Dec 2005 Location: Perpetual Chaos Posts: 30,852	ashamed to admit that actually made me lol __________________ The most difficult thing is the decision to act, the rest is merely tenacity Amelia Earhart

11-14-2011, 10:49 AM	#4275
infinite monkey Person who doesn't update the user title Join Date: Mar 2011 Posts: 13,002	My slightly different jokes are better than your slightly different jokes. For one thing, they flow off the tongue better, and don't use extraneous words to convey what is essentially a visual joke (what is green and is ON ICE? Peggy's Phlegm? No...Peggy Phlegm. She skates, the joke is so obscure you don't need to throw a spanner in it by not exactly spelling out it's a skating thing. The joke with the last name is that you just stop...Peggy Flem...) I picture a spider, wriggling and wriggling and tickling beside her, stapled through the middle to a chicken. I cannot picture a punk rocker doing same.

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