I got plenty of Nothing, and Nothing's Plenty for ME!

[IamSam]

In the "It Never Rains, but it Pours" Department:

Today with no warning, I found out that I have run out of unemployment benefits from the state of Colorado. I have great difficulty understanding all the rules and laws around being eligible and requesting unemployment insurance, and I made two major mistakes.

The first was that I assumed I'd find another job in a few months, anyhow. I have so many sterling qualities, I could open up a silverware registry. Plus, I'm experienced, more honest than not, and an employer can have my services for a song.

Unfortunately, the people who do the hiring around here don't agree with my glowing self assessment. According to them, I "have too much experience and/or education and will leave ASAP should I find more suitable employment ." Matter of fact, they're right. Cry me a river. There's plenty of other people waiting in line for every job around here, so it's not like their crummy min wage job will go unfilled for months.

The actual translation of you "have too much experience and/or education and will leave ASAP should you find more suitable employment " is more like: "We'd rather hire a cute little biker chick in her 20's than someone like you who would mostly likely choke to death if someone offered you a hit of medical marijuana the second day on the job.

*sigh*

My second major mistake re Colorado unemployment was thinking that from time to time, Colorado would send me a statement of some sort - like a bank statement, or something - letting me know where I stand. They don't. Everything is automated, and you file for two weeks at a time by phone, cross your heart and hope to die as a computerized voice gives you the prompts. Finally, the computer reminds you one last time that in Colorado, the punishment for fraud is death (I believe the hangings take place in front of the State Capitol every other Saturday).

The recording then chirps at you that your unemployment check will be deposited in two days. Why would it lie to me like that? Can computers be punished for not making honest statements? Maybe give them a bad virus that crashes their hard drive or something?

But, in the end, the fault was mine for not doing my own accounting and thinking Colorado would have sent me a warning of some sort as I came down to the wire. Like had I known, I wouldn't have bought some winter boots to replace the ones Wyn chewed up when he first arrived here. And I would have put off for another month the brake work on my truck that I've been putting off forever.

I think I can apply for the extended unemployment benefits that Congress barely let squeak by, but in my case, those payments won't start until the beginning of MARCH!

Meanwhile, I'm looking at having my electricity, phone, and Internet cut off, since I have no money to pay those bills. In fact, I have no money for ANYTHING like co-pays for my meds and food for the critters. There's a charity here that might help me with "Vampire" Electric, as its customers fondly call it. Maybe I can talk my phone and Internet provider into cutting me some slack, but the rest...?

My friends are pretty low income themselves, and I have no well off, close family members that I could ask for help.

I can't believe this. First I get just about as sick as I've ever been in my life, and now this. I heard the Bates Motel changed management again, so I actually slunk down there and asked the owner if he could give me any work. No dice. Probably just as well at THAT place.

What next? The 7 plagues of Egypt? The Four Horsemen of the Apocolypse? An infestation of Navajo Skin Walkers?

[limey]

Oh shit, that sucks Sam'


Sent by thought transference

[Nirvana]

ay yi ay yi yi

[toranokaze]

Prepaid cell phones are cheap as dirt and work well, most supermarkets throw out perfectly eatable food, also multivitamins are indispensable. You will get thru this sam

[IamSam]

Originally Posted by toranokaze

Prepaid cell phones are cheap as dirt and work well, most supermarkets throw out perfectly eatable food, also multivitamins are indispensable. You will get thru this sam

Thanks for the vote of confidence! I'm a bit of survivalist at heart, so I have food stored away and that should help. If I have to go to the soup kitchen a few times, it's hardly the end of the world. I can walk most places around here, and friends will give me rides if I need to go further than a few miles.

I'm worried about the critters, but I believe there is a rescue outfit in town which will supply dog and cat food to owners who are going through a temporary lack of cash. If they turn off my electricity, I have a very bright propane lantern and a little camping propane stove. I store bottles of propane away like I do non-perishable food. The local library will even let me use their Internet computers for as long as I want.

***

The following is my little rave about the local economy. It's not required reading and it won't be on the mid-term.


As usual, I checked the Cortez paper yesterday for jobs (the paper only comes out 3 x week). There were a total of 14 listings, mot counting tribal jobs which go preferentially to Native Americans, nor did I include jobs outside the County, like in Farmington, NM, for example. The town of Cortez has a population of roughly 8,481 lost souls. The unemployment rate seems to vary according to the whim of the statisticians on any particular day, so I settled on 8.9% which is the average from several gov’t sources.

That comes out to 755 people who are “officially” still looking for work in Cortez, and a pathetic 14 jobs available. Naturally, every job does not wind up advertized the paper. Jobs can go by word of mouth, etc. I’m just using the 14 jobs in the local paper for the sake of an example. Montezuma County has the 5th lowest standard of living among all Colorado counties. The aptly named Dolores County is right next door to us. It’s unemployment has spiked as high as 20%, and their standard of living is worse than ours.

The Four Corners (Lost Corners) is a dead end. I want to move to near-by Durango which has a mere 6.1% unemployment and better paying jobs, but I lack the money for the move – first, last, and damage deposit. In my dreams.

As for getting thru this month… The local temp agencies have few jobs, and these go preferentially to the homeless. I’m thinking of calling up the local senior center and seeing if they know of anyone who needs some help – like after a surgery or whatever. Wish I still had my own rose biz – I used to make a nice sum selling flowers back in Colorado Springs, but no longer have my tax license. One more thing to save my pennies for if I ever get some pennies!

[IamSam]

OK, it has taken forever, but I'm told that I will finally get my extended unemployment beginning next week. I had to jump through several hoops to do this, and one was an aptitude test, created by someone in a Federal office somewhere who had too much time on their hands, or - at the very least - needs to get a life.

The last time I took an aptitude test I was 17 and my ideal job turned out to be "light house keeper." Unfortunately, Colorado had no lighthouses then and STILL hasn't. What could I do other than to go live in a cardboard box? But apt tests are no longer the same these days. This time, I came out as "Artist," but that doesn't mean I should go paint pix or whatever. It's more like being a "rabbit" or a "tiger" when you look up your animal on one of those Chinese astrology mats while you're waiting for you sweet and sour mystery meat to arrive.

An "Artist" (you can also score "Scientist" or "Social," etc.) has a good imagination and often comes up with solutions on her own that are" far better than those of the boss." (I added the last part). "Artists" are best left alone to accomplish their work-related tasks because a thwarted "Artist" can turn into a mass murderer at the blink of an eye. Gee, I wonder what occupation might be best for an "Artist"? Could it be keeping a light house, perhaps?

Stuff like the above surely has been a contributing factor for the way County unemployment has increased for every consecutive month over the past 5 years.

After a couple of hours of this sort of crap, I finally escaped from the "Work Force Center" and got down to the business of looking for a job. Motel and hotel managers have started looking anxiously down the road in hopes of seeing an advancing phalanx of tourists and jobs are starting to open up some - just don't tell them you're an "Artist."

I started at one end of Main Street and then worked my way down the other, leaving off resumes for a career in the hospitality industry - the main type of work available here except for the casinos run by the tribes, and Native Americans have hiring preferences in those.

I emphasized to potential employers that I was looking for a night auditor job, not so much a front desk clerk (although I'd gladly do that, too). Night auditors don't have to look cute and young since they usually come out like vampires after 8pm or so and may stay as late as 2am, tucked out of sight in the far back, trying to get the damn books to balance just this once.

A couple of managers were pretty encouraging, so I'm keeping my fingers crossed. Hiring will commence in April. We'll see...

[xoxoxoBruce]

Lighthouse? Wouldn't that bright beam cause you to combust?

[Griff]

Good luck Sam!

[IamSam]

Originally Posted by xoxoxoBruce

Lighthouse? Wouldn't that bright beam cause you to combust?

Yeah, it's just one more tribulation that we vampires must endure, along with getting stereo-typed as night auditors and "Artists". Is there no justice these days?

One snazzy hotel handed me a 12 page application form to fill out for a minimum wage job as a pt desk clerk. You're supposed to write an essay about how you can make a contribution to the establishment if hired. Let's see now - Can apprehend drunks attempting to break into the laundry room, order guests to get their goats the hell out of their room, and being a vampire trumps skin walkers and shape shifters any night of the week. That should be skills enough for any motel/hotel in these parts.

[xoxoxoBruce]

Interesting article from NPR about states paying a bounty to companies that specialize in rooting out people on welfare, that can be moved to Social Security Disability. That moves the costs from the state to the feds.