Suddenly Old

[monster]

Wrinkles and brown spots like a well-pored map
Signs of roads I've travelled, I can live with that
But my idols, my heroes all popping their clogs
Barely older than me in the case of old Yog
The only one left, Alan Alda from MASH
Twice the age of the others, still cutting a dash
I wonder if his joints crackle and ache just like mine
If he feels like arthritis is just marking time
Or if he's a zombie, long gone but still moving
I'd rather have Freddie, still Crooning and groovin'
Yes, I just wrote this poem on the spot
But who knows how much longer we've got
Live for the moment, skip the rough draft
Get out there and do it, have the last laugh

This post wasn't intended to be a pseudo-poetry thing, I just didn't know where to start. Rhyme's just easier. Restrictions provide a freedom.

I feel so old. I was still pretty young just moments ago. My oldest kid is only 19, and I had her when I was 27. I'm still not all that old, right? But now my soulmate and I have both faced health challenges usually only encountered by people finishing up their stints on the earth. And I hurt. And he hurts. And I look old. He looks way better than I do. 18 months on, no-one has any idea how sick he is. Or even that he is. I've always hated the way I looked, but now I want it back for a little bit more -I guess it wasn't all that bad. But that doesn't help. It's not constructive. It's frivolous in the circumstances

So start over on the minute, the hour the day
'Til the maudlin bullshit is blasted away
I will get on, do the best that I can
To pretend I still count, that there's a need for my plan
And I'll never wear people with a clashing red hat
No things go on my head, and I only wear black
Thank you for listening, no need for response
I guess I just needed a vent for my bonce


I'm 46 btw, for those who didn't know and wanted to. Is everyone surprised by old age, even though they know it's coming -like the puff of air when you get your eyes tested? So idiotic and yet

I guess my crap poetry is my clown facepaint and these are my tears.

My gut is telling me to erase this and not post it, but I think I might just post anyway

**as you were, soldiers**

[fargon]

You're not even close to old yet. Because I'm12 years older than you and I'm not old.

[xoxoxoBruce]

Monster, in the not too distant past, you weren't working a job with rules and expectations of a boss. Back then you were the boss, in charge or organizing, and transport of, a very busy herd of Jr Beestmonsters, along with running the household, and entertaining Banana Lady. Aches and pains, ain't nobody got time for that. Booster clubs to drag and prod for the teams. Stupid officials to correct, and supper will be a little late, I'm running a triathlon today. You're feeling an accumulation of beating your self up... and loving it. A couple more beers and you'll feel better.

[captainhook455]

My oldest son is 55 and I am 63. He said I am middle aged. I said when I am 126 I will be old right? So I started to post and I was like where is the arrow? Went back to menu, back to thread. Oh there it is on bottom of screen. This is not the first time. Nothing else I still have my hair. I look out of these same eyes since the day I was born. Who is that man in the mirror? I don't see myself as old until I shave and see wrinkles that weren't there ten years ago. As for my son being eight years younger than I. Ha ha I am a stepfather.

tarheel

[xoxoxoBruce]

The US life expectancy for men is 76.4 years.
Half of 76.4 is 38.2 years
A third of 76.4 is 25.47 years
So middle age is 38.2 plus or minus 12.74 years


Young ===== Birth to 25.46 years
Middle Age = 25.46 to 50.94 years.
Old ======= 50.94 to 76.4 years


Questions?

[sexobon]

Didn't Viagra change all that for men?

[xoxoxoBruce]

Yes, they started dying sooner, of heart attacks, unpronounceable diseases, and shot by jealous husbands.

[Clodfobble]

I hear you, monster. I don't have anything constructive to add, because it's been a rough holiday. But from a purely selfish standpoint, your post helped articulate some of the quasi-similar stuff that's been simmering over here, so I'm glad you posted it.

[sexobon]

Originally Posted by monster

... My oldest kid is only 19, and I had her when I was 27. ...

Let me see now, 9 + 7 = 16, 1 +2 = 3, dammit, I forgot to carry the 1 ...

OH WAIT!

Originally Posted by monster

I'm 46 btw, for those who didn't know ...

Oh thank you so much for figuring that out for us old folks. It's so nice now that you can empathize!

[xoxoxoBruce]

Don't need numbers, she's a woman so she's at her peak.

[Snakeadelic]

The first time I felt old...I remember it vividly.

I was living in a previously-abandoned mobile home and doing odd jobs around the owner's property to help offset the extra electrical bill costs and such. She was astounded to find out that, thanks to my 2nd husband's parents, I knew how to supervise, re-thread, and hoop up items for a Tajima professional embroidery machine--she had a 4-head, while my former in-laws owned a print shop that had 3 12-heads (in the mid-90s, about $100,000 each) among the other equipment.

So I'm out in the modular room that constituted her 'business space', listening to the local classic rock station while running hats on the Tajima. It was 2007. Now, I grew up in the Willamette Valley, and one of the radio stations there holds a record in the US. KGON 92.3 out of Portland. They started out in like 1968 playing "album-oriented rock". The usual: Zeppelin, Floyd, Boston, Bad Company, ZZ Top, that kinda stuff. Eventually, while only slowly adding to their library over time as classics proved out, they became a "classic rock" station.

They are the oldest still-broadcasting radio station in the US that has never changed format or call letters. I listened to them my whole life in Oregon, on really good days in southern Washington, and still do when we go back to visit. I know I could listen online, but saving it for a treat when we're in town is a much more awesome thing to me, and Portland is VERY short on awesome for someone like me.

So I'm rockin' along to a very similar if much younger station back in 2007 and then they had to go and do it. First time I ever felt old was when the classic rock station played something that was #1 on MTV...after I graduated high school. (sarcasm)Thanks a ****ing lot, Def Leppard!(/end sarcasm). It was "Pour Some Sugar on Me" for the record, as I graduated in June 1989 right when that earworm was eating the video charts for lunch.

For the record, I too am currently 46.

[Griff]

I know the oldster thinking, I have one kid working her first post graduation job and another looking at Grad Schools. It may sound like bullshit but I'm younger than I have been in years. I've decided it's okay to play at life a little bit and not take things so damn serious. Do some good in the world and don't get caught up in other people's expectations and institutions. I spent the day yesterday with probably my favorite old-timer. He is being assaulted by his own body and mind now but he broke with convention years ago and in the process accumulated one metric shit-ton of positive karma. Identify any bullshit you've accumulated and toss it over-board. I don't know if that helps... just thinking in print.

[footfootfoot]

Fucking
Time Flies

Like an Arrow


Fruit Flies Like

A

Banana

[footfootfoot]

We will now conjugate the verb, To Be:

She is old
He is old
We is all old

[Clodfobble]

I was old
I will be old
I have been old
I will have been old