crappy father's day gifts

[monster]

For mother's day, they push all sorts of shit that should be a regular household purchase -like a new vacuum cleaner or matching spatula set -not the sort of shit you give someone to show them you appreciate them, but crap to make their role for which you are thankful more interesting/efficient/something.

For father's day they push gadgets, gizmos and toys. No fair.

What would be the equivalent shit for fathers -not dodgy socks and monogrammed hankies but the stuff they use everyday in their stereotypical roles doing the shit they have to because no-one else will and it's expected of them?

new trash cans with built in weights to they can work out as they take out the garbage?

A special scoop for dead mice and other assorted corpses the cat brought in and they are expected to clean up?

A tie with a built in (color co-ordinated) drain snake? And a matching toilet plunger that fits neatly into his laptop case?

A robot to ground the kids when he gets home from work. The deluxe model could have a cupholder for his Scotch?