Job burnout

[Shawnee123]

(Subtitled: Me, Me, Me)

As many of you suggested, I should sound off here in the Cellar rather than letting it all build up and losing it again. I really believe I am a classic case of job burnout. I think "great, just one more thing where people can think 'just pick yourself up by the boot straps, wimp'"

The following article, with my annotations in blue, suits me to a T (tee?)

What is burnout and who's at risk?
Burnout is a state of physical, emotional and mental exhaustion caused by long-term exposure to demanding work situations. Burnout is the cumulative result of stress. You may be more prone to burnout if:
 You identify so strongly with work that you lack a reasonable balance between work and your personal life What personal life?
 You try to be everything to everyone
 Your job is monotonous
 You work in the helping professions, such as health care, counseling, teaching or law enforcement In my opinion, financial aid fits this

What are the signs of burnout?
Ask yourself these questions to see if you're experiencing signs and symptoms of burnout:
 Do you find yourself being more cynical, critical and sarcastic at work? YEP
 Have you lost the ability to experience joy? Mostly
 Do you drag yourself into work and have trouble getting started once you arrive? Not really, I drag myself in, but am usually immediately bombarded with problems so I get dragged into work, so to speak
 Have you become more irritable and less patient with co-workers, customers or clients? YEP
 Do you feel that you face insurmountable barriers at work? Yep
 Do you feel that you lack the energy to be consistently productive? Yep
 Do you no longer feel satisfaction from your achievements? Mostly
 Do you have a hard time laughing at yourself? Sometimes
 Are you tired of your co-workers asking if you're OK? Yep--especially the ass kissers who live in a golden world
 Do you feel disillusioned about your job? Completely. I used to think helping people get a higher education was a worthy calling, and one that would be rewarded if I just worked hard---puh
 Are you self-medicating — using food, drugs or alcohol — to feel better or to simply not feel? Yep
 Have your sleep habits or appetite changed? Yep
 Are you troubled by headaches, neck pain or lower back pain? Yep
If you answered yes to any of these questions, you may be experiencing burnout. You may also be depressed.
Identify the causes
Is it time to take action?
If you feel you may have signs or symptoms of burnout don't ignore them. Like stress burnout can have significant health consequences including fatigue, insomnia, weight gain or loss. It has the potential to put some people at increased risk of depression, anxiety and other emotional difficulties. And working in an environment that negatively affects your physical and mental health can affect your personal life.
Talk to your supervisor or mentor, or see your doctor or a mental health professional. A counselor at your employee assistance program (EAP) can help you assess your interests, skills and passions. This can help you decide if you should consider an alternative job, whether it be one that's less demanding or one that better matches your interests.
Recovery from burnout is possible, but it may require changes and take time, so don't expect a quick fix. Keep an open mind and consider all your options. Don't let a demanding job affect your health.


Even reading this, I wonder if job burnout is a strong enough diagnosis. I am so completely stressed out I feel that I might actually start screaming some day. I cry at least once a day. There are so many issues, from workload to respect and consideration, that job burnout seems almost too tame. This institution touts its "core values" and "valuing people" but it all seems like lip service when they only way to gain important recognition is to play all the right games and kiss all the right asses.
My boss used to be the best. She is still a wonderful person, but my cries for help seem to be falling on deaf ears. I've mentioned burnout. I even tried to get next week off, to no avail. I said something about needing a vacation (I was very sick for a couple weeks but didn't take time off because we are so freaking busy.) but not being able to have one and she was like 'tell me about it.' SHE JUST HAD A VACATION OVER EASTER SO SHE COULD PRAISE HER LORD...I HAVEN'T HAD EXTENDED TIME OFF IN WAY OVER A YEAR. And when I was sick there was none of that "you need to take care of yourself." Instead, all of a sudden she was sure she must have pneumonia (she didn't.) They will also not let me miss the graduation ceremony to attend my niece's dance recital. Yet I hear all the time that our health and our families are more important. Graduation, that's another thing that tears my heart out every year since I was promoted to this administrative position. Here's how that works. Most administrators in Student Services are REQUIRED to walk in the grad ceremony. FA administrators are FORBIDDEN to walk in the grad ceremony. As hard as I work, as many people as we make it possible to attend college, I have to be there to hand out programs and do crowd control like I'm a Workstudy (student worker) while my PEERS trot down the aisle in front of hundreds of people wearing the colors of the college from which they graduated. I went to a college where you actually had to be admitted; I don't have an easy-bake oven degree like many here (when I mentioned Kurt Vonnegut had died most people here were like "who?") Yet I feel humiliated and hurt every year, and realize that the Core Value "Valuing People" doesn't apply to me.

I'm sick, tired, and so disillusioned I can't stand it. I'm tired of being angry, and I'm tired of being discounted. Where is this kind of hurt supposed to go? I'm normally the one who makes people laugh, the one who will do silly things for levity, the person who people just like. I still do that, to some extent, but it's increasingly peppered with frustration and tears and that makes everything hurt worse when people think you're crazy. Why is it that everyone talks about recognizing when someone needs relief, that we're all human, but when you really really need relief people wonder what the hell is wrong with you. Why doesn't the VP of our department, a licensed counselor, who SEES but refuses to SEE (presumably because I am not one of her minions) try to offer assistance?

I know, I need to find a new job. The catch-22 is I don't have the emotional energy or the confidence to get out there and do it...at the end of the day I just want to either cry, sleep, or drink.

Thanks for listening. I needed to talk about it.

Also, I didn't add any more to my apology thread because I am kind of hoping it fades into the sunset that is the next page, but all of you who were supportive and forgiving--I want to thank you. I won't name you all, but your comments made me happy--an emotion that has been very scarce as of late.