My Kid is a Damn Nutter

[Clodfobble]

The older one, I mean. The next time I'm at the pediatrician's office (that would be in January for his little sister's 9-month checkup,) I'm going to ask her at what age it becomes reasonable to examine for hyperactivity and obsessive-compulsive behavior. I mean believe me, I understand that two-year-olds are typically a pain in the ass, and I honestly feel that I am above-average when it comes to being patient with him. But let's consider a few examples:

--He rejects the concept of brushing his teeth, and we have to physically restrain him every single night to get it done. At no point has he shown any acceptance that this is going to happen, despite complete consistency on our part.

--He compulsively chants snippets of songs and catchphrases at me all day long, and will say his half again and again nonstop until I repeat what he has said to me, or whatever complementary phrase I'm supposed to say. One typical progression goes (exactly) like this:
Him: "ABC Song."
Me: "A, B, C, D--"
Him: "Big A"
Me: "Big A, Little A, what begins with A? Aunt Annie's Alligator, A, A, A." [Continue reciting this book until about letter I. If I stop, he prompts with the next letter.]
Him: "ABC Song."
Me: [Alphabet song sung to a different tune, from the show "Choo-Choo Soul."]
Him: "Number song." [More Choo Choo Soul]
Me: "1, 2, 1-2-3--"
Him: "Bullet train."
Me: "If I were a car I'd be a race car, and if I were a--"
Him: "Jump jump."
Me: "Jump, jump, Put your hands in the air, Jump, jump, Wave them everywhere--"
Him: "Jumping jacks!"
Me: Yes, I see that you are doing jumping jacks.

If at any point in these scripts I don't respond, he just keeps chanting his last line over and over and over until I do. I have gone so far as to lock him out of the bedroom to try to break the cycle. 20 minutes later I emerged, and he immediately picked up right where he'd left off.

--His newest thing this winter is he won't wear long sleeves. Even if it's 40 degrees outside. I figure when he gets cold enough he'll put on his jacket, right? So far he's still stubbornly holding out, and his elbows and arms are red and chapped by the end of each day.

--He can't be trusted to walk on his own in any store or parking lot, though he desperately wants to, because the instant his feet touch the ground he bolts. He's not even going anywhere, he's just going. If I try to hold his hand he deadweights to the ground, forcing me to pick him up, at which point the kicking to be let down begins. He has never in his life walked while holding my hand, ever.

--One of his favorite activities is "drawing with crayons." This consists of taking each of the 100+ crayons out of the box and lining them up on the table in front of him next to the big coloring book. He does not actually ever draw in the book, but it has to come out with the crayons all the same. When they are all lined up, he is done. Usually he tries to color-coordinate them as well, pulling all the blue ones out first, etc.


It's been especially bad since the baby was born, but it's hard to tell if that's actually a cause or if it just happens to line up with a difficult age. I'm really hoping we're at the nadir here, and he's going to start improving as he approaches 3. But the glimpses of light at the end of the tunnel are few and far between.