Job Opportunity

[infinite monkey]

For those who went to Pope school and were told there's no future for a student of Pope Science, there is new hope. They were advised that job projections were terrible: with 1 position available in the world and growth projections hovering at zero, most people give up and go to Clown School or Beauty College.

But a few folks with a dream, the few who didn't give up, who believe that they can do anything, can be anything they want to be, are gearing up for what may be the biggest job search since 2005.

There are typically tens of applications for the position of Pope. Because of the stagnant economy and stalled high unemployment rates, that number is projected to rise to dozens of applications. Relocation to Vatican City is not expected to hinder the number of applicants: these days people go where the jobs are. It's a mobile economy, and being Pope has changed with the times.

Among the qualifications that are expected in the new age of Popeism are: photoshop skills, social media, HTML, customer service skills, ability to supervise a large staff, fluent in Latin, knowledge of safety requirements, and exceptional organizational skills. A background in management is helpful, but not required. A degree from an accredited Pope school is also required, but applicants with 5 or more years experience may be considered.

The candidate for Pope must be open to extensive travel; the Pope will be responsible for all regional directors and in-house managers.

Please send a current copy of your resume to:

His Holiness Pope Benedict XVI
Vatican City State, 00120
Italy


Include at least three professional references. Applications without a cover letter will not be considered.