Job Opportunity

[footfootfoot]

Originally Posted by monster

Dear God,

I am applying for the position of pope. As a lifelong female and atheist, I feel I can lead the church in a whole new direction more inkeeping with the current market. As you will see from my resume, in addition to the leadership skills essential for this position, i have a proven consistency and unwaivering belief that I know will bring strength and hope to those who are questioning.

smooches,

monster


1970-2012 Atheist, good person
2012 Suffered Cryptogenic Ischemic stroke
2013 Still a fucking atheist

reference:

*Flying Spaghetti Monster
*Infinite Monkey
*monster

Dear Monster,

Thank you for your resume and interest in this position. There are a very tiny handful of candidates applying for this job who have qualifications at least as dubious as yours. You mentioned that you recently suffered a Cryptogenic Ischemic stroke, no doubt you are aware of our faith's fondness for crypts and the book of Genesis, we are very impressed at how you managed to work those two things together, however we are really looking for someone who can suffer the little children, if you get my drift, as such we regretfully have to decline your offer to take on the role of Pope.

We wish you luck in your further atheistic endeavors.

Sincerely,

God, p.p. St. Peter