Things I'm tired of

[anonymous]

I'm tired of being me.
I'm tired of fighting depression and anxiety.
I'm tired of being ignored to my face.
I'm tired of hanging by a thread.
I'm tired of being good when being bad netted better results.
I'm tired of health issues.
I'm tired of life.
I'm tired of hating myself.
I'm tired of being alone.
I'm tired of plugging away.
I'm tired that I'm tired of all these things, because all these things are dealt with by most of the population. Most people deal with life and put on a happy face. Most people accept it, some even seem to thrive.
But I'm tired of not being able to put on the happy face for the world. Scratch that, I'm tired of how tiring it is to put on the happy face, when mad face wants so much to be seen. And mad face is not attractive or acceptable.
I'm tired of knowing that if I hold on I will feel better. Because I will. Then I will feel badly again. I'm tired of waiting for that shoe to drop, all the tiring time.
I'm tired of hurting. I'm tired of being tired.

And I'm tired of knowing that I will feel ashamed for feeling tired of all these things. Tired of being embarrassed for feeling all these things. Tired of asking myself why I can't just be a normal human being, and tired of comparing myself to everyone else, all the time, always, and in every way, and always coming up short.