Dad jokes

[lumberjim]

They don't watch the flintstones in Dubai. But Abu Dhabi do.

You can't run through a camp site. You can only ran, because it's past tents.

How do you tell the difference between a crocodile and an alligator? You will see one later and one in a while.

I told my wife she drew her eyebrows too high. She seemed surprised.

Ever noticed that glass tastes like blood?

What's orange and sounds like a parrot? A carrot ;-)

How do you find Will Smith in the snow? You look for the fresh prints.

What's the difference between beer nuts and deer nuts? Beer nuts are about 49cents and deer nuts are just under a buck.

what kind of luggage does a vulture take on a plane? Carrion.

Where are average things built? In the satisfactory.

A pet store had a bird contest. No perches necessary.


Yesterday a clown held a door open for me. I thought it was a nice jester.


Want to hear a word I just made up? Plagiarism.


A Roman walks into a bar, holds up two fingers, and says, "five beers please"