Where Next... (Besides France.)

[AlternateGray]

In the interest of the troops overseas, military recruiting goals, and for morale both stateside and abroad, I was thinking that perhaps the U.S. could stage an recreational invasion... you know, old school military style. Pillaging, looting, that sort of thing. Someplace nice, not too hot or cold, with lots of fine women and a ready supply of alcohol. Before I write my letter to Congress, I thought I'd get some input from y'all. Any suggestions?
(NO deserts, deserts suck. So do burqas.)

P.S. I was thinking Ibiza to start. Pretense will be WMD.

[Ibby]

Italy. Damn Romans and that stupid Pope trying to get in on Bush's "God's chosen one" schtick.

[Griff]

We still hear good reviews from the fellas that did Italy back in the day, but the roads are kinda narrow unless we retool and build a few hundred thousand Willys jeeps. I'd be partial to Sweden as long as its a summer incursion.

[Spexxvet]

Texas

[AlternateGray]

Kind of violates the no desert rule, but I suppose it could fly- if nothing else, to break that silly-a** Texan pride. We could divide it into a whole mess of Rhode Island-size states and name them all after Canadian politicians. (Insult to injury, and all that).

[Cyclefrance]

Keeping with the Italy suggestion - Sicily wouldn't be a bad idea - they're used to being overrun with troops at least once a century as they are a strategically placed stepping-stone en route to conquering Europe - they'll probably shout 'Vive Patton' in the streets when you arrive though, and don't be surprised if the rest of Italy surrenders straightaway.... it's a national trait, apparently - in fact no matter where you might invade Italy will probably surrender...

[Shocker]

I think Mexico would be a good idea...I mean if we seize control of all of Mexico, we wouln't have Mexicans jumping our borders anymore since they would all be a part of the US

[xoxoxoBruce]

Australia but none of that outback crap, just the coasts....better yet just the cities and beaches.

I say we go ahead and take all of Mexico and Canada... just get it over with.

[Hagar]

Originally Posted by xoxoxoBruce

Australia but none of that outback crap, just the coasts....better yet just the cities and beaches.

Too late. You lot took over Aust. circa 1951. The last pockets of resisitance are being mopped up as we speak, with revisions to media ownership laws and 'free' trade agreements. :p

[Elspode]

Fiji. Let's invade Fiji.

We would ruin it.

[AlternateGray]

Originally Posted by rkzenrage

We would ruin it.

EXACTLY. This is not the "we're here to tinker with your country" invasion, rkzenrage. This is the "we're here to have our way with your country" invasion. Fiji it is. Currently accepting volunteers, although keep in mind, alcohol and swim trunks will be a required item on all humvee load plans.
We'll hit up Italy on the way home (save the easy stuff for last)- "Dibs" on Monica Bellucci when it comes time to pick out the love slaves.

Canada and Mexico? Come on, now. There's a reason America's expansion stopped where it did. We ran out of decent real estate to "acquire". Hm. Maybe they could be vassal states. GIVE US OUR TRIBUTE, CANUCKS. Yeah... that could work. Coastal Mexico would be cool, but we'll leave it for the Nasty Girls.

Let's do Cuba! We'll divide it into two zones, the interior and the exterior. All US prison operations will be consolidated in the interior (at least all felons will serve their time there) and prison maintenance jobs will go to indigenous Cuban nationals. The exterior will become beachfront vacation resorts. We'll be able to go on vacation while visiting friends and relatives in prison (at least once a year). Not only would this be a great confidence exercise, we could call it a foreign internal defense and development program to garner UN support!

[Skunks]

New Zealand.

- It's coastal, so you have the "roll up in the amphibious, then roll out on the beach & sun yourself" perk.

- It has beautiful scenery once you get away from the beach (& yet, because it's all small islands, you don't need to pack much more than the amphib., so it's all around an easier vacasion.)

- Americans are familiar with it because of Lord of the Rings, which adds a wonderful moralist tie-in to the justification. There could perhaps be a life size Eye hidden up in some mountains, and a Mission Accomplished style PR frenzy around the destruction of it.

- The ladies are pretty, with a subtle accent. And yet, as they speak English the inevitable forced-families will be somewhat easier to adapt to. And whenever they run out there are plenty of sheep.

- For the ladies in the forces, you can diet & still enjoy the local cuisine when all you eat is vegemite.