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Old 02-09-2012, 09:20 PM   #1
monster
I hear them call the tide
 
Join Date: Dec 2005
Location: Perpetual Chaos
Posts: 30,852
Misfortune Cookies

They ought to exist.


it is too late for happiness

Your unlucky numbers are any numbers ending in 1, 3, 5, 7, 9, all multiple of 2

Someone close to you will die before you have a chance to ask them

You have heart of fruitfly

Winning lottery number is W

Good Futures are all behind you

Happy endings out of stock



I know you can do better

(^see, that's probably my best one)
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The most difficult thing is the decision to act, the rest is merely tenacity Amelia Earhart
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Old 02-09-2012, 09:26 PM   #2
Clodfobble
UNDER CONDITIONAL MITIGATION
 
Join Date: Mar 2004
Location: Austin, TX
Posts: 20,012
They DO exist!
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Old 02-09-2012, 09:32 PM   #3
monster
I hear them call the tide
 
Join Date: Dec 2005
Location: Perpetual Chaos
Posts: 30,852
Ha! I didn't even think to search, I was just getting slightly irritated by the latest apparent facebook fad of sharing your fortune...... Ann Arborites eat way too much Chinese food methinks.

I still think we can do better.

"you will die alone and poorly dressed" .....bring it! If I died well dressed it would be because I'd been a veg for long enough that nursing home volunteers were choosing my outfits......
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Old 02-09-2012, 09:35 PM   #4
monster
I hear them call the tide
 
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Location: Perpetual Chaos
Posts: 30,852
your posterior does not look big, it looks hippopotamus.

erectile disfunction is foretold for you

your enema will be strong and numerous
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Old 02-09-2012, 09:36 PM   #5
Undertoad
Radical Centrist
 
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Old 02-09-2012, 09:37 PM   #6
monster
I hear them call the tide
 
Join Date: Dec 2005
Location: Perpetual Chaos
Posts: 30,852
your nude pictures await your discovery on the internet
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Old 02-09-2012, 09:37 PM   #7
Aliantha
trying hard to be a better person
 
Join Date: Jan 2006
Location: Brisbane, Australia
Posts: 16,493
This is your last fortune cookie ever!
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Old 02-09-2012, 09:38 PM   #8
monster
I hear them call the tide
 
Join Date: Dec 2005
Location: Perpetual Chaos
Posts: 30,852
we saw you make slitty eye sign behind waiter back
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The most difficult thing is the decision to act, the rest is merely tenacity Amelia Earhart
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Old 02-09-2012, 09:46 PM   #9
ZenGum
Doctor Wtf
 
Join Date: Oct 2007
Location: Badelaide, Baustralia
Posts: 12,861
You so stupid, you think cookie know better than you.
You right.
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Just because I'm nominally polite, does not make me a pussy. Sundae Girl.
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Old 02-09-2012, 09:49 PM   #10
monster
I hear them call the tide
 
Join Date: Dec 2005
Location: Perpetual Chaos
Posts: 30,852
you just ate that cookie, didn't you?
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The most difficult thing is the decision to act, the rest is merely tenacity Amelia Earhart
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Old 02-09-2012, 10:23 PM   #11
Pete Zicato
Turns out my CRS is a symptom of TMB.
 
Join Date: Jan 2010
Location: Chicago suburbs
Posts: 2,916
"You will die like a dog for no good reason."

Not mine, but Hemingway's. But it seems appropriate here.
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Old 02-09-2012, 10:32 PM   #12
monster
I hear them call the tide
 
Join Date: Dec 2005
Location: Perpetual Chaos
Posts: 30,852
Your gender will be defined for you

Your gender role is pre-determined

Your egg roll is pre-despermined
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The most difficult thing is the decision to act, the rest is merely tenacity Amelia Earhart
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Old 02-09-2012, 11:14 PM   #13
BigV
Goon Squad Leader
 
Join Date: Nov 2004
Location: Seattle
Posts: 27,063
Quote:
Originally Posted by Clodfobble View Post
Yes, yes, they do. And they're sold in 5 pound bags. Their store is about 15 minutes from my house.

Tsue Chong Fortune Cookie & Noodle Factory
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Old 02-10-2012, 09:16 AM   #14
Spexxvet
Makes some feel uncomfortable
 
Join Date: Dec 2005
Posts: 10,346
You're ugly and your mother dresses you funny

Cook who make cream sauce is masturbator

employees don't wash hands after using potty

You suck

My dog was named Mein. He was Chow
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Old 02-10-2012, 02:40 PM   #15
Sundae
polaroid of perfection
 
Join Date: Sep 2005
Location: West Yorkshire
Posts: 24,185
The thing your mother warned you about will happen.
Your worries are right - your genitals are mis-shapen.
The one you depend on the most will abandon you.
You are right to fear the stairs.
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