I confess! Confessions and admission of horrible things you have done!

chrisinhouston · 09-08-2014, 12:05 PM

When I was 13 or so I lied to one of the priests at our church. I told him I was thinking of becoming a priest which I really wasn't I think I was just trying to make some kind of connection with him. He told me I should pray about that and study my catechism. I also began to make up sins when I went to confession because I really never had much to say.

Am I doomed to languish in Hell for eternity?

Lola Bunny · 09-08-2014, 04:49 PM

Make up sins just to confess??!? Hahaha.....Did you eventually confess to that too?

infinite monkey · 09-08-2014, 09:37 PM

I didn't do my homework.

I got mad at my mom, and sassed her.

I killed hobos.

These are the things I told my priest. Then I said 10 hail marys and 10 our fathers and everyone forgot about the hobos.

Undertoad · 09-08-2014, 10:50 PM

I can't confess the horrible things I have done. They are too horrible. Although nobody has ever died, or even suffered, or been changed in any much way, or even spent time in anguish,....

....no

Crimson Ghost · 09-09-2014, 12:05 AM

"Father, I once poked a badger with a spoon."

xoxoxoBruce · 09-09-2014, 04:26 AM

Quote:

I confess! Confessions and admission of horrible things you have done!

Only after the statute of limitations had run out.

Sundae · 09-09-2014, 07:16 AM

I have used family crisis as a way of getting out of a number of things: dates; overtime; actual workdays; rental agreements.
I didn't really feel bad about it at the time, but now Dads is genuinely in such bad health I feel a twinge at all the times I pretended.
Actually once it was Mum, because I needed Dad to come and collect me and load up the car.
Calculating much?

Gravdigr · 09-09-2014, 06:48 PM

I cuntpunched a nun.

chrisinhouston · 09-09-2014, 11:29 PM

A few years ago when Continental and United were rumored to be working on a merger I had stopped in at Continental's President's Club before a flight and was having a glass of wine and the bartender mentioned that if the merger went through he had been told that United would be changing out all the bar ware with new stuff. Well they served the wine at the bar in Spiegelau stemware which my wife and I also had at home. Very nice glassware, a lot like Riedel.

So for about the next 6 months every time we had a drink at the club while traveling we would just stick our nice glasses in a large carry on bag as we walked out and eventually get them home. Ended up with 8 I think.

Also, I took a lot of the silverware and use it for camping and picnics. I don't care, I hate the new United!

Aliantha · 09-09-2014, 11:42 PM

A bar i used to drink at used to have nice glassware. I admit to stealing a few from time to time. I used to justify it to myself by the fact that i was never one to smash glasses at the pub.

it · 09-13-2015, 03:04 AM

Do the confessions have to be acts? Well this is the closest thread I was able to find, so...

I love Nazi aesthetics. In Israel we have a holocaust memorial day, where all the media gets pretty holocaust-themed, especially at schools, and for as long as I remember my prevailing thought watching those old WW2 horror flicks was...

Look how cool those uniforms are! And even the swastika, and red and black make for such a beautiful combination. Don't get me wrong - The ideology is bullshit, the politics were fucked up, their actions were horrible and their intentions were worst, but god damn it they had a better sense of design then any modern army.

...I am a horrible Jew.

Sundae · 09-13-2015, 07:17 AM

I got £10 change from a £5 note a couple of weeks back.
I knew as soon as he handed it over that it was wrong, because I know I only had a fiver.
He was talking to a "regular" also in the shop, but he is an independent newsagent, an older man, and has always been perfectly polite and welcoming.

I visit him about twice a month (when I have money!) for the occasional soft drink, chocolate bar. He's open earlier than the supermarkets.
He didn't deserve my dishonesty.

footfootfoot · 09-13-2015, 10:05 PM

I used to like to steal coffee cups from weddings I'd been to, mostly because I was drunk.

I don't really have any confessions because I'm pretty open about my past, and my present is nothing to write home about.

Maybe I'll go eat sushi and not pay...

xoxoxoBruce · 09-13-2015, 10:38 PM

I'm not talking till the statute of limitations is bye bye.

I don't want to meet the limiting statue.

it · 09-14-2015, 01:21 AM

I am not talking either...

Until someone else brings something more heavy weight. I have shit I am actually remorseful about and people are talking about the time they stole from the cookie jar. I want to first see if there are other people in on that so it doesn't kill the thread and turn it into something that might otherwise be completely unrelatable to the community.

09-08-2014, 12:05 PM	#1
chrisinhouston Professor Join Date: Sep 2001 Location: Houston TX Posts: 1,857	I confess! Confessions and admission of horrible things you have done! When I was 13 or so I lied to one of the priests at our church. I told him I was thinking of becoming a priest which I really wasn't I think I was just trying to make some kind of connection with him. He told me I should pray about that and study my catechism. I also began to make up sins when I went to confession because I really never had much to say. Am I doomed to languish in Hell for eternity?

09-09-2014, 07:16 AM	#7
Sundae polaroid of perfection Join Date: Sep 2005 Location: West Yorkshire Posts: 24,185	I have used family crisis as a way of getting out of a number of things: dates; overtime; actual workdays; rental agreements. I didn't really feel bad about it at the time, but now Dads is genuinely in such bad health I feel a twinge at all the times I pretended. Actually once it was Mum, because I needed Dad to come and collect me and load up the car. Calculating much? __________________ Life's hard you know, so strike a pose on a Cadillac

09-09-2014, 06:48 PM	#8
Gravdigr The Un-Tuckian Join Date: Apr 2007 Location: South Central...KY that is Posts: 39,517	I cuntpunched a nun. __________________ These statements have not been evaluated by the FDA, EPA, FBI, DEA, CDC, or FDIC. These statements are not intended to diagnose, cause, treat, cure, or prevent any disease. If you feel you have been harmed/offended by, or, disagree with any of the above statements or images, please feel free to fuck right off.

09-09-2014, 11:42 PM	#10
Aliantha trying hard to be a better person Join Date: Jan 2006 Location: Brisbane, Australia Posts: 16,493	A bar i used to drink at used to have nice glassware. I admit to stealing a few from time to time. I used to justify it to myself by the fact that i was never one to smash glasses at the pub. __________________ Kind words are the music of the world. F. W. Faber

09-13-2015, 07:17 AM	#12
Sundae polaroid of perfection Join Date: Sep 2005 Location: West Yorkshire Posts: 24,185	I got £10 change from a £5 note a couple of weeks back. I knew as soon as he handed it over that it was wrong, because I know I only had a fiver. He was talking to a "regular" also in the shop, but he is an independent newsagent, an older man, and has always been perfectly polite and welcoming. I visit him about twice a month (when I have money!) for the occasional soft drink, chocolate bar. He's open earlier than the supermarkets. He didn't deserve my dishonesty. __________________ Life's hard you know, so strike a pose on a Cadillac

09-08-2014, 04:49 PM	#2
Lola Bunny Junior Master Dwellar Join Date: May 2011 Posts: 2,728	Make up sins just to confess??!? Hahaha.....Did you eventually confess to that too?

09-08-2014, 09:37 PM	#3
infinite monkey Person who doesn't update the user title Join Date: Mar 2011 Posts: 13,002	I didn't do my homework. I got mad at my mom, and sassed her. I killed hobos. These are the things I told my priest. Then I said 10 hail marys and 10 our fathers and everyone forgot about the hobos.

09-08-2014, 10:50 PM	#4
Undertoad Radical Centrist Join Date: Jan 2001 Location: Cottage of Prussia Posts: 31,423	I can't confess the horrible things I have done. They are too horrible. Although nobody has ever died, or even suffered, or been changed in any much way, or even spent time in anguish,.... ....no

09-09-2014, 12:05 AM	#5
Crimson Ghost Larger than life and twice as ugly. Join Date: Apr 2004 Posts: 5,264	"Father, I once poked a badger with a spoon."

09-09-2014, 11:29 PM	#9
chrisinhouston Professor Join Date: Sep 2001 Location: Houston TX Posts: 1,857	A few years ago when Continental and United were rumored to be working on a merger I had stopped in at Continental's President's Club before a flight and was having a glass of wine and the bartender mentioned that if the merger went through he had been told that United would be changing out all the bar ware with new stuff. Well they served the wine at the bar in Spiegelau stemware which my wife and I also had at home. Very nice glassware, a lot like Riedel. So for about the next 6 months every time we had a drink at the club while traveling we would just stick our nice glasses in a large carry on bag as we walked out and eventually get them home. Ended up with 8 I think. Also, I took a lot of the silverware and use it for camping and picnics. I don't care, I hate the new United!

09-13-2015, 03:04 AM	#11
it Banned Join Date: Dec 2011 Posts: 772	Do the confessions have to be acts? Well this is the closest thread I was able to find, so... I love Nazi aesthetics. In Israel we have a holocaust memorial day, where all the media gets pretty holocaust-themed, especially at schools, and for as long as I remember my prevailing thought watching those old WW2 horror flicks was... Look how cool those uniforms are! And even the swastika, and red and black make for such a beautiful combination. Don't get me wrong - The ideology is bullshit, the politics were fucked up, their actions were horrible and their intentions were worst, but god damn it they had a better sense of design then any modern army. ...I am a horrible Jew.

09-13-2015, 10:05 PM	#13
footfootfoot To shreds, you say? Join Date: Aug 2004 Location: in the house and on the street-how many, many feet we meet! Posts: 18,449	I used to like to steal coffee cups from weddings I'd been to, mostly because I was drunk. I don't really have any confessions because I'm pretty open about my past, and my present is nothing to write home about. Maybe I'll go eat sushi and not pay... __________________ The internet is a hateful stew of vomit you can never take completely seriously. - Her Fobs

09-13-2015, 10:38 PM	#14
xoxoxoBruce The future is unwritten Join Date: Oct 2002 Posts: 71,105	I'm not talking till the statute of limitations is bye bye. I don't want to meet the limiting statue. Attached Images __________________ The descent of man ~ Nixon, Friedman, Reagan, Trump.

09-14-2015, 01:21 AM	#15
it Banned Join Date: Dec 2011 Posts: 772	I am not talking either... Until someone else brings something more heavy weight. I have shit I am actually remorseful about and people are talking about the time they stole from the cookie jar. I want to first see if there are other people in on that so it doesn't kill the thread and turn it into something that might otherwise be completely unrelatable to the community.

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