There's Lumberthing I don't want to tell you

[lumberjim]

Goooooood

[lumberjim]

I learned recently from Spencer, who had just found out, that Ripley had made one previous attempt 3 years ago. And that she had been taking anti depressants at that time. I don't know for how long or if she still was. I never saw it on the health insurance bills, her mother must have paid cash for the pills to keep it all secret.


I'm going to have to forgive her for that. She made that decision at that time with the info and brain that she had. Not understanding her policy of not communicating with me prevents me from understanding why she kept that from me. But then, she didn't tell Spencer either. He says she's feeling very guilty still.

I don't know if I could have done anything to help back then, but it would have been on my radar at least. Who knows. Finding out after, has opened the questions again. Both why she did this, and why her mother acts the way she does. Both unanswerable.

I just keep coming back to the fact that it isn't changeable, so being angry or guilty isn't useful going forward. I hope she can forgive herself. I really do. It's a lot to process for me, so she must be tormenting herself. I'm still a bit angry. But I'm also sympathetic to her situation.

Kind of a weird place to be in.

[sexobon]

Since Ripley didn't tell you later either, I can easily imagine jinx went along with Ripley's wishers, regarding her privacy, so as not to alienate her daughter. That relationship may have been what enabled her to get your daughter into treatment. Ripley was at an age where other people's opinions of her may have been paramount and she didn't want to risk a mental health stigma changing her relationships. She might not have gone for; or, cooperated with treatment otherwise.

Your son wasn't old enough to be responsible for intervention. It probably wouldn't have been fair to dump that knowledge on him since he didn't stumble across anything that caused him to become suspicious. Knowing could have been an unnecessary impediment in his development and it wasn't likely to have changed the outcome since Ripley had learned how to conceal things by then. Radar doesn't work so well against stealth technology.

[lumberjim]

Yeah

[monster]

Sexobon said pretty much what I came here to say.

Once you're a teenager, you are afforded increasing amounts of privacy -as it should be- including not telling your parents about non-life-threatening things. BUT, if you need anything other than an office visit with your regular doc, all that is blown out of the water because it's all on the billing. Including contraception, mental health..... just the sort of things teenagers don't want their parents to ask them about -especially teenage girls with their dads. Beest was the most progressive and open dad there could be, but I know he was taken aback when he saw billing for teendaughter's contraception.

Yet more evidence of reform being needed in the healthcare insurance field.

There is NOTHING abnormal and most likely nothing malicious in this being kept from you. The only thing to come to terms with here is your daughter was no longer a little girl and when that happens, you no longer get to be party to everything. Neither does mom, but when parent is required, it's almost always easier for a girl to grit her teeth and talk to mom, regardless of which parent (if any) she is closer too, because chances are, mom was once in that situation too.

[lumberjim]

Yup. I don't know enough to understand the why.

[xoxoxoBruce]

Antidepressants are cheap, out of pocket is not a financial strain, and it only takes a visit to a GP to get them with at most an appointment to follow up in six months. Been there, done that.

[monster]

yeah, Thunderboi's don't go through the insurance because it's cheaper to pay in full than their minimum copay, now I think about it.