What might be making you a tad apprehensive, but might not, as it's too soon to tell

[BigV]

this is the scut work of preparing. you're doing it. it's happening right now. fuck. left foot. right foot. left foot. right foot. left foot. right foot.

keep your head down and your feet moving. you're making progress.

[infinite monkey]

I am in a town hall meeting the pres gives. Will send the pm when i get back. I will respond to them, in due time...not react as they want.

I just want it all to end, honestly. This is just too much: too disheartening and too destructive to me.

[Nirvana]

[infinite monkey]

Update:

I sent the letter and got a rather canned response from HR, but some conversation took place because I was presented a reasonable compromise on my paid time off.

If I leave here at 5 still employed I will consider it a small victory for me, and for what I've been willing to do to get better, and to make things HERE better.

ANd it ain't been easy. I'm such an emotional and reactive person, but I've amazed myself the past few days with how well I've been able to employ the things I worked on in the bin (and I worked very hard) and I hope things only go up from here.

If not, I'm OK too because I see what I am capable of. I don't feel so damn useless and unloveable and icky.

And, as always, they can kill you but they can't eat you.

Once again, thanks to everyone who has supported me through this (sometimes you realize who really cares even when you think they don't and that some really don't even when you think they did and it's all OK either way, you know?) It was (and is) a doozy of a trip for me and I wouldn't have fared so well without caring people in my life.

[glatt]

Hooray for the reasonable compromise! Good job standing up for yourself.

[limey]

Looks like you're hanging on OK on a rather bumpy ride, Infi! And it sounds like you've got a better handle on you and your capabilities, too. Good luck!


Sent by thought transference

[DanaC]

Belting out the park again, Infi. Well done you

[IamSam]

Hope it continues to go well for you, infi. Let's give that gal 100 bonus points for her spunk!

[jimhelm]

Shaw,

umm....

Hug.

[infinite monkey]

Thanks guys.

Had my first appt with my therapist (not my psychiatrist) and I like her. She focuses on outcomes and goals rather than laying (lying? I can never get that one right) on the couch having your head patted and your hand held. I think this is really going to be helpful.

It was a rough weekend (sick most of it, my tonsils had turned to pieces of quartz it seemed) but I feel really good now. Self-talking is helping. Remembering to breathe, stopping negative thoughts by talking through them (in my head...hahhahaa) and not assuming everyone is thinking I'm a big giant loser...all good things. I mean, they may or may not think I'm a big giant loser but I have no control over that, right?

Therapist also wants to work with me on some career assessments! Imma be like the Grandma Moses of whatever I end up doing.

You've all been so kind.

[limey]

Originally Posted by infinite monkey

Thanks guys.
....

You've all been so kind.

This all sounds soooOOOOOoooo good! Excellent.

[Chocolatl]

Glad to hear a positive update, infi! I hope therapy goes well for you.

Originally Posted by infinite monkey

She focuses on outcomes and goals rather than laying (lying? I can never get that one right) on the couch having your head patted and your hand held.

[Englishteacher] Here's how I remember which is which: Lie is something you do to yourself -- think "I" as in me. Lay is something you do to "a"nother object.

I will lay the blanket down, then I will lie down on it.
[/Englishteacher]

[infinite monkey]

Thanks! I use a lot of those tricks for other words that are easily mixed up but I hadn't heard that one.

[Sundae]

You need to try this one as well. To, you know, help you through difficulties.

Mrs D, Mrs I, Mrs F, F, I
Mrs C, Mrs U, Mrs L, T, Y

No, I'm in no way you're suggesting you need spelling help. Just my phonics class did mnemonics last week and I can't get it out of my head.

Good luck will come to all whose kindness leaves you without debt.
Karma owes you one.

[footfootfoot]

I before E except after C, or when sounding like A as in Neighbor and Weigh. Or when sounding like I as in Height, apparently, and also the exceptions such as Science and so forth.

Mr. Pun Mr. Chin Mr. Nell, Mr. O
Mr. Punchinello!


Sod the rules, you wanking toss-pots (watching too much Green Wing)

The AUE FAQ has an article on the i-before-e rule that attempts to show that the rule is a good and useful one, and that the objections to it may be swept aside. That article was written by an Englishman, the highly respected Mark Wainwright. This page presents an alternative view, written by an American. The 'i before e' rule is usually defined quite differently in the two communities.

Below is an excerpt, with minor editing, from an article posted to AUE Tue, 27 Feb 1996 22:42:07 GMT. It was posted in response to a posting by a Ms Tomlinson.

Links to key sections of the text

(For each link the relevant part of the text is intended to appear at the top of the screen. If you have a large screen this might not work properly.)

Begin excerpt
Extensions to the rule that have been suggested.
Examples of exceptions to the rule.
Exceptions with 'ei' pronounced as in: weigh, height, seize, surfeit, heifer, weird
Exceptions with 'ei' or 'ie' pronounced as in piece
Suggested conclusion
Excerpt, with minor editing, from the 1996 posting:

There was a robust thread on this topic about a year ago. I also participated in an extended discussion of it in the ILink WordPlay Conference a couple of years ago. Both discussions went the same way. People kept piling on more and more qualifications to the rule until it seemed as though the rule might eventually become longer than the list of words that obeyed it.

Extensions to the rule that have been suggested:

Early in both discussions I submitted a list of words that were exceptions to the rule. People then took exception to some of the words in my list, citing extensions to the rule that excluded them. Some of the extensions were:

The rule only applies to digraphs, so words like "deity" and "science" don't count.
The rule "i before e except after c" should be extended to include "except when said 'ay' as in 'neighbor' and 'weigh'".
The rule only applies to digraphs that have the /i:/ ('ee') pronunciation, as in 'piece'. (Note the conflict between this and the previous item.)
The rule doesn't apply to words that are recent imports from foreign languages, such as "gneiss", "dreidel", and "enceinte".
The rule doesn't apply to the large number of plurals of words ending in "cy" ("fallacies", "frequencies", "vacancies", ... ) because in the UK – in traditional RP – "cies" is pronounced with the "i" of "pin", even though it is pronounced with the "ee" of "feed" by most World-English speakers and by younger UK speakers.
I don't think any of these extensions are useful, with the exception of the one concerning "neighbor" and "weigh". If the rule were to be useful it would have to be useable by all World-English speakers, and it would have to be applicable to all words they were likely to use. Even the "ay" extension is not very significant, because it covers only one of the several sounds that the digraph "ei" can have.

Examples of exceptions to the rule:

Sticking for the moment to the basic rule, "i before e except after c", which is the only version I ever heard until a couple of years ago, here are some exceptions I've noted (I've added five of Ms Tomlinson's words to my old list):

beige, cleidoic, codeine, conscience, deify, deity, deign,
dreidel, eider, eight, either, feign, feint, feisty,
foreign, forfeit, freight, gleization, gneiss, greige,
greisen, heifer, heigh-ho, height, heinous, heir, heist,
leitmotiv, neigh, neighbor, neither, peignoir, prescient,
rein, science, seiche, seidel, seine, seismic, seize, sheik,
society, sovereign, surfeit, teiid, veil, vein, weight,
weir, weird

This list could obviously be extended by adding more derivatives of Latin "scire", and by adding inflected forms of some of the basic words listed. The list has "conscience", "prescient", and "science", but there are also, for example, "omniscient" and "nescient". To "eight" could be added "eighty", "eighteen", and "eighth". And the list could be greatly extended by adding the plurals of all words ending in "cy".

(Is someone going to cite a word ending in "cy" that doesn't form its plural with "cies"? I can't think of any at the moment, given that I'm excluding capitalized words from my discussion.)

With regard to the extension added by some people for "neighbor" and "weigh", and the fact that this is only a start toward covering all the sounds of "ei", I have broken down my list according to the six different sounds "ei" had in that list. In doing so I have excluded cases where the "ei" or "ie" was not a digraph. Here is the list as so reorganized:

/eI/ as in 'pate' and 'weigh':

beige, deign, dreidel, eight, feign, feint, freight,
gleization, greige, heinous, neigh, neighbor, peignoir,
rein, seiche, seine, veil, vein, weight

/AI/ as in 'bite' and 'height':

cleidoic, feisty, gneiss, greisen, heigh-ho, height,
heist, leitmotiv, seidel, seismic, eider

/i:/ as in 'peat' and 'seize':

codeine, either, neither, protein, seize, teiid

/@/ as in 'bacon' and 'surfeit':

conscience, foreign, forfeit, prescient, sovereign, surfeit

/E/ as in 'pet' and 'heifer':

heifer, heir

/I/ as in 'pit' and 'weird':

weir, weird

Exceptions with "ei" or "ie" pronounced as in "species" or "seize":

For those people who insist the rule apply only to words where the digraph has the /i:/ ("ee") sound, and excluding words ending in "cies", here is a list of words that have at least one accepted pronunciation with the /i:/ sound:

caffeine, casein, codeine, deil (Scots, devil), disseize,
either, geisha, inveigle, keister (slang, buttocks),
keister, leisure, monteith, neither, obeisance,
phenolphthalein, phthalein, protein, seize, seizin, sheik,
sheila (Australian slang for "girl", not capitalized),
specie, species, teiid

My suggested conclusion:

My last remarks in the ILink discussion were:

"Instead of trying to defend the 'rule' or 'guideline', "'i' before 'e' except after 'c'", why don't we all just agree that it is dumb and useless, and be content just to laugh at it?"