What do you look like RFN!??

[TheMercenary]

As the father of two daughters, tell him to relax. There will be much bigger battles to fall on your sword over in the coming years, this is not one of them. Kids need to experiment with expressing themselves. Be happy they are including you, in the future you will not be invited to participate in that experimentation.

[Shawnee123]

Juni, your daughter is adorable.

I agree with the guys on this one: it's between you and her. Dads worry daughters will grow up too fast, which is so sweet, but mom understands the girl stuff.

[glatt]

Guy's a little short sighted. You've got to chose your battles. This shouldn't be one of them.

[Clodfobble]

Here's a question: what will her cheerleading squad say about it? Do they have rules about how "wholesome" the girls have to appear?

[Razzmatazz13]

I adore all of the colors on you so far SG...even the blonde You're sooo beautiful!

[Sundae]

Just what Merc says - point out that being involved in her expressing herself at this age is a really positive thing. She's less likely to come home with a rebellious facial piercing ot tattoo and an "It's too late now, I've already done it" attitude in a couple of years time.

Disclaimer - I have no problems with facial piercings or tattoos, but it's a shame when they're used as weapons.

Would your daughter be content with a spray in colour? They only last from wash to wash and she can use as much or as she wants on a day to day basis. As a compromise I mean - it would be a shame for her Dad, who is equally her parent, to be completely disregarded. Even though I think he's wrong about this.

[monster]

Wait, was the purple that same daughter or a different one? If it was the same one, the precedent is alredy set.

Ok here's the thing about color -you're never too young. But you can get too old. some gray hair just won't take the bright colors -I have friends who have tried.

It's not permanent. you could always cut it off or bleach it back -like SG says, it's no tattoo. It hurts no-one and presumable breaks no rules. It doesn't say "fuck you" like a black emo cut.

If she feels thwarted on this small thing, she's not even going to bother coming to you any more, and she's either going to do stuff without permission or worse, she's just going to stop trying to do stuff and be miserable, possible even depressed. All humans need to have some element of control over their lives. This can be hers. It's pretty harmless in the scheme of things.

There's almost nothing worse you can do to a teenage girl than brush off her insecurities about her appearance. When you feel you need a change, even if it's only temporary, you don't believe it when you hear "you're beautiful as you are". Just like when a teen says she feels fat and wants to diet, you don't say "actually you're skinny, don't worry about it" and feed her fries that she's going to coax back up with her fingers later, you advise on diet and exercise. And sneak extra buttr on the vegies

Any of those gems work for your cause, Juni?

probably best to try and get his approval or at least an "I don't care, do what you want" rather than just go ahead though. That was the sort of trick my mom used to pull on my dad and it made us feel like pawns in the divorce game

[Aliantha]

My cousin used a coloured hairspray in her daughters hair for a costume event a few years ago, and it stained her white blonde hair. Maybe you could just get some of that and then act all innocent and say, "well I didn't expect it would stay like that!"

Either that or just tell him he's an old fogey and to give the kid a break.

[lumberjim]

don't lie to your children.

ever.

[Aliantha]

I was talking about the husband.

eta: and it was toungue in cheek anyway. Hence the winky smilie.

[Juniper]

Great responses, and I'm sorry for the thread digression!

Clod is right about the cheer -- we worried about that two years ago when the purple wouldn't come out. We did it about this time, thinking there would be plenty of time to wash it out (said 10 washes, I think) before tryouts, but it only faded to a light pink! Tryouts for the school squad are in May and I don't know how that would affect it. For her private gym, whose colors are red/silver anyway, I don't think they'd care. (but I'm trying to get away from that private gym and its $$$$!!!! School squad is better! )

She has a little red hairpiece that attaches with a tiny comb - I have been trying to get her to enjoy that instead.

We have looked at the colored hairspray, but it just doesn't look as good as the mousse dye.

But you know, y'all are right -- if this is the worst we have to deal with from her, as far as self-expression - we are in good shape indeed!

[Juniper]

We need a hair color thread.

[capnhowdy]

and pretty soon some new hair.

[Flint]

Thought I'd contribute my own Donegal Beard.

[TheMercenary]

Damm Flint, you actually look like a pretty nice guy.