Organ recital

[JayMcGee]

What made you post on that website in the first-place?

And if those reasons still hold, why are you now having doubts?

[Bitman]

Originally Posted by Sheldonrs

PS - The first person who makes the obvious "Steel Magnolia" references will get bitch-slapped for Christmas!!!

Actually I heard something else .. I think it was Simpsons .. something like "wow, you've given up a large part of your life so someone else can live slightly longer." I trust you've talked with your doctor to ensure you personally won't have complications later in life.

But that's not what worries me. This is:

Originally Posted by Sheldonrs

Anyway, a lady contacted me because I might be a match and she needs a kidney. She has to go through dialysis 3x per week. She and her husband retired a few years ago but shortly after, her husband died of cancer. She has a daughter and told me she just wants to live to see her grandchildren someday. She is 64 years old.

What properly balanced person can face a person in need, and say no, you must die? What organization would allow patients to contact donors, knowing full well the donors can't say "no"? This whole thing sounds very shady.

So are you agreeing because you want to help this person, or because you're unable to say "no"?

[monster]

Sorry, but I think it it's a ridiculous thing to do. You're endangering your own life in more ways than one in an attempt to allow an old lady to get a little older and have a a little longer to dream about seeing the grandchildren that do not yet exist?

Why? If you want to give the gift of life, donate blood and bone marrow -replenishable things you can donate more than once and can save babies at the very start of their journey through life.

But there's no fame and very little thanks going that route. And very little sacrifice.

If this woman cannot get a kidney from a brain-dead donor, that's probably because there are many people out there with a more desperate need than her. She just has the money to pay for it. It seems a little odd to me that there is a directory of potential live donors which patients themselves access directly, rather than the doctors. Why would this be, do you think? Is it ethical/wise for donors are recipients to know one another?

I wouldn't touch this with a 10-foot bargepole. But then I'm not allowed to donate anything anyway because apparently us Brits all have mad cow disease, so I perhaps have more room to feel confident that not doing this is morally acceptable because it's a decision I will never have to make.

Sorry if I sound brutal/cold, but these are angles I really feel you should examine before making a decision.

Good luck.

[xoxoxoBruce]

Originally Posted by limey

How much do you care about your family - I don't mean about their reaction about whether you should do this or not, but about them - how they love you and could be hurt by what you plan to do?

Hmmm, good point.

How do you think they'll feel/react, if doing this puts them in the position of having to care for you in the future? I told you so? Fuck off? How could you do this to me(us)?

[Sheldonrs]

Originally Posted by JayMcGee

What made you post on that website in the first-place?

And if those reasons still hold, why are you now having doubts?

I posted on the site about 5 years ago just because it seemed like the right thing to do. My family never took living or dying very seriously so the chance of it happening doesn't really bother me. That's not depression or suicidal talk, just never been frightened of it.

[Sheldonrs]

Originally Posted by Bitman

What properly balanced person can face a person in need, and say no, you must die? What organization would allow patients to contact donors, knowing full well the donors can't say "no"? This whole thing sounds very shady.

So are you agreeing because you want to help this person, or because you're unable to say "no"?

The patient contacted me via e-mail. I had the option of just ignoring it or replying. Plus, I would not have posted there if I was not willing to do it.

And while it's true I have a hard time saying no, that's usually regarding an entirely different question and organ.

[Sheldonrs]

Originally Posted by xoxoxoBruce

Hmmm, good point.

How do you think they'll feel/react, if doing this puts them in the position of having to care for you in the future? I told you so? Fuck off? How could you do this to me(us)?

To me it's no different than a fireman, policeman or armed services member doing what they do because it is the right thing for them to do.

[Sheldonrs]

Originally Posted by limey

I think you need carefully to examine (and perhaps have already) questions like:
Why do you want to do this?
What prompted you to put your details out there and make this open offer in the first place? Is it just because
?
Is that enough of a reason for you to potentially sacrifice your life for a stranger's? Nature gave us two smaller kidneys rather than one big one (and duplicates of some other organs) to provide a back up of essential services if one failed.
Did you pick your use title of "Hand of kindness extender"? Is this your identity?
How much do you care about your family - I don't mean about their reaction about whether you should do this or not, but about them - how they love you and could be hurt by what you plan to do?
You don't have to go into any of this publicly - but you should be sure you have looked thoroughly at these questions.

I love my family and my bf very much but this is something that I want to do.
I would never try to stop them from doing something risky if it was something they wanted to do. I would give them my opinion from my perspective if they asked for it but I would not tell them they should, could or shouldn't do it.