Sitting on the fence....

[BigV]

Originally Posted by Urbane Guerrilla

I'm with SG -- this would be nuts. She's a single mother with two kids, now she wants to increase her labors by a third if she's lucky?? Well planned this ain't.

1/3?

1/2.

likely more, but not 1/3. do the math.

:

Originally Posted by queequeger

NoBoxes and UG both imply (unless I misunderstand) that more children instantly means a less responsible parent.

You misunderstand. The predetermined number of children constitutes a selfish, childlike, self indulgence (with children, the end justifies the means). This aspect of her character is distinct from her ability to own up to the responsibilities of parenthood. The potential outcomes are irrelevant to this assessment.

[DucksNuts]

Good points raised by all....thanks.

I have been speaking to her regarding the legalities.

Bit more info for you I guess.....Shes CEO of an accounting firm, with an au pair, so $$ and care arent an issue.

Her ex husband decided he didnt want anything to do with *their* kids when they split up, it was apparently happy families or bust in his eyes.

She decided that as he didnt want to have anything to do with them, she didnt want any of his money.

I dont think she would be changing the rules down the track....its just the type of person she is.

SG - I really do hear what you are saying.....but I dont see her willingly and with an open mind/heart.....bringing another child into the world to be raised as a single parent child.....any worse off than his/her siblings, who will query about the Father that left and wanted nothing more to do with them. Or the kids in class with gay parents. Especially when you think what society will be like in another 5...10 years.

I mentioned about *purchasing* the sperm, and she was....."sooooo, we screw, I pay him.....hmmm.....he's a whore?"

Oh and Zen....that sounds vaguely like "Queer as Folk":p

[Beest]

As I understand from anecdotal evidence (I.e. i read it on the internet, so it must be true), in the U.S. the guy would be 100% liable as the father, no matter what agreements were made prior, in writing, by a lawyer whatever. Cases of guys being made to pay support where the woman deliberately got pregnant by the guy without his knowledge, and where the guy was told it was his so took on the father role then later found out it wasn't, but becasue he had assumed responsibilty he was legally bound to continue.

No idea on the legal technicalities on Oz, but the guy should be aware that the handshaking ( ) agreement may not be worth the paper it's written on, and he could be making a life comittment.
Seems especailly difficult if they are friends so he is likely to have some casual contact with the child, she needs to be aware that somewhere down the line he may start to feel more paternal and have the legal right to be involved, get partial custody, maintenance for the child from her .

It may seem nice and neat now, but it's people, things get complicated.