Chubbiness is Next to Godliness

[infinite monkey]

Originally Posted by infinite monkey

I am a shoemaker for the new millenium.

I've been fixing hundreds of errors in reporting and it's tedious, and frustrating, and very difficult.

But just yesterday almost every record I pulled up to fix was already fixed. I asked me boss if she'd done any (like she said she would) and she hadn't.

So I guess elves have come into my cube in the night and fixed the records for me. Now I will have to make each of them a shirt, a coat, a waistcoat, pantaloons, and tiny shoes.

And we'll all live happily ever after.

(What's a waistcoat?)

Damn elves didn't finish the job. What in the world? I went to the bottom of the alphabetical spreadsheet and I'm having to recreate records again. I'm never going home.

No waistcoats for them!

[Clodfobble]

Ye shall know the truth, and the money shall set you free.

[Spexxvet]

Eat, drink, and be insulin dependent

[jimhelm]

As easy as Pie


(I can now tell you all that Pie was a HUGE whore*, now that she seems to have forgotten us)

*This is a lie.

[jimhelm]

http://www.phrases.org.uk/meanings/a...d-sayings.html

that's a link to a bunch of phrases

Here's another good link

[Sundae]

Infi our waistcoat is your vest.

For a gentleman to open a bedroom door wearing only his pants and vest (as one American did to me when I was breakfast waitressing) means something quite different to us than it does to you.

One man's meat is another man's profit.
Many hands make voluntary redundancies.
Too many cooks spoil the TV schedule.
Laugh and the world laughs with you, cry and Oprah gives you a car.