|
Home Base A starting point, and place for threads don't seem to belong anywhere else |
|
Thread Tools | Display Modes |
01-28-2010, 11:07 AM | #3211 |
has left the building.
Join Date: Aug 2006
Posts: 455
|
Emma? I worked with an Emma once. Middle age, divorced, psychotic, gave a new meaning to "drama queeen." I stayed out of her way so I could just observe. Kind of felt sorry for her so I was one of the ones who treated her respectfully (at a distance). She took an early retirement. Ran into her at the hospital about a year ago. Said "hi" to her. She looked at me and said "do I know you?" I told her I must've mistaken her for someone else, told her to have a good day and went about my way.
Troll? Me? No, just a prankster. Now, now. I liked the Village People. They had some pretty upbeat music. I still exercise to "Y.M.C.A." |
01-28-2010, 06:05 PM | #3212 |
Back in 10
Join Date: Aug 2008
Posts: 3,684
|
> Tom Brady, after living a full life, died and went to heaven.
> When he got to heaven, God was showing him around. They came > > to a modest little house with a faded patriots flag in the window. > "This house is yours for eternity, Tom," said God. "This is very > special; not everyone gets a house up here." Tom felt special, indeed, > and walked up to his house. On his way > > up the porch, he noticed another house just around the corner. It was > a 3-story mansion with a blue and white sidewalk, a > > 50-foot tall flagpole with an enormous Colts logo flag, and in every > window, a blue and white Colts towel. > Tom Brady looked at God > and said, "God, I'm not trying to be ungrateful, but I have a > question. I was an all-pro QB, > > I hold many NFL records, and I even went to the Hall of Fame." God > said "So what's your point Tom?" > "Well, why does Peyton manning get a > better house than me?" God > chuckled, and said, "Tom, that's not Peyton's house, it's mine. > > > > > > ***GO COLTS***
__________________
Speaking simply... do not confuse this with having a simple mind. |
01-28-2010, 06:49 PM | #3213 |
Are you knock-kneed?
Join Date: Jul 2008
Location: Middle Hoosierland
Posts: 3,549
|
|
01-29-2010, 12:11 AM | #3214 | |
Thats "Miss Zipper Neck" to you.
Join Date: Sep 2006
Location: little town (but not the littlest) in texas
Posts: 2,957
|
I sincerely hope this is meant as a joke. This is on craigslist, sorry its a bit long. I quoted the whole thing since it might get taken down before long, I'm not sure if its allowed.
LINK Quote:
__________________
Addicts may suck dick for coke, but love came up with the idea to put a dick in there to begin with. -Jack O'Brien |
|
01-29-2010, 01:25 PM | #3216 |
Back in 10
Join Date: Aug 2008
Posts: 3,684
|
That Explains It
.
__________________
Speaking simply... do not confuse this with having a simple mind. |
01-29-2010, 09:50 PM | #3217 |
Capnhowdy's #1 smasher
Join Date: Nov 2009
Location: Rentz, GA
Posts: 339
|
My entire radio room appreciated that one and we are printing it to put on the booking room cork board!!
__________________
I don't suffer from insanity...i enjoy every moment of it. |
01-29-2010, 10:43 PM | #3218 |
I hear them call the tide
Join Date: Dec 2005
Location: Perpetual Chaos
Posts: 30,852
|
This is what I misread.
For the Brits: I'm currently reading Jilly Cooper, nuff said......
__________________
The most difficult thing is the decision to act, the rest is merely tenacity Amelia Earhart |
01-30-2010, 10:32 AM | #3219 |
Cleverly disguised as a responsible adult
Join Date: Jan 2001
Location: Dallas, TX
Posts: 3,338
|
From: Internal Revenue Service
Midwest Region TO: All Male Taxpayers The only thing the federal government has not taxed heretofore is your peter. This is due to the fact that 40% of the time it is hanging around unemployed, 30% of the time it is pissed off, 28% of the time it is hard up, and the 2% of the time that it is employed, it operates in the hole. Furthermore, it has two dependents and both are certifiable nuts. In an effort to balance the budget, a new tax will be assessed on your pecker, based on its size. Using the pecker-checker scale below, please determine your catagory and insert the additional tax under the listing "Other Taxes", page 2, part IV on your form 1040. Pecker checker scale 10-12 inches: Luxury Tax: $50.00 8 - 10 inches Pole Tax: 25.00 6 - 8 inches Privilege Tax 15.00 4 - 6 inches Nuisance Tax 5.00 Note: Any man with the pitiful peter size under 4 inches is eligible for a refund. However, do not ask for an extension. Any men with peters in excess of 12 inches should file under "capital gains." Signed______ _________ ________ I. Will Cutchapeckeroff Chief, Compliance Section
__________________
Never be afraid to tell the world who you are. -- Anonymous |
01-30-2010, 08:17 PM | #3220 |
Doctor Wtf
Join Date: Oct 2007
Location: Badelaide, Baustralia
Posts: 12,861
|
Re: Craigslist freak:
Dr Freud? I think somebody has some Mommy issues.
__________________
Shut up and hug. MoreThanPretty, Nov 5, 2008. Just because I'm nominally polite, does not make me a pussy. Sundae Girl. |
02-01-2010, 08:56 AM | #3221 | |
barely disguised asshole, keeper of all that is holy.
Join Date: Nov 2007
Posts: 23,401
|
Quote:
__________________
"like strapping a pillow on a bull in a china shop" Bullitt |
|
02-01-2010, 12:58 PM | #3222 |
barely disguised asshole, keeper of all that is holy.
Join Date: Nov 2007
Posts: 23,401
|
An Amish farmer walking through his field notices a man drinking from his pond.
The Amish man shouts: "Trinken Sie nicht das Wasser, die Kuhe und die Schweine haben in ihm geschissen!" Which means: "Don't drink the water, the cows and the pigs have shit in it!" The man shouts back: "I don't understand your gibberish. Speak English!" The Amish man shouts back in English: "Use two hands, you'll get more!"
__________________
"like strapping a pillow on a bull in a china shop" Bullitt |
02-01-2010, 05:10 PM | #3223 |
Pump my ride!
Join Date: Aug 2005
Location: Deep countryside of Surrey , England
Posts: 1,890
|
What's your Pet Hate?
Having a thermometer stuck up his arse!
__________________
Always sufficient hills - never sufficient gears |
02-02-2010, 11:50 PM | #3224 |
Back in 10
Join Date: Aug 2008
Posts: 3,684
|
Walking into the bar, Mike said to Charlie the bartender, 'Pour me a stiff one - just had another fight with the little woman.'
'Oh yeah?' said Charlie. 'And how did this one end?' 'When it was over,' Mike replied, 'she came to me on her hands and knees.' 'Really? Now that's a switch! What did she say?' She said, 'Come out from under the bed, you little chicken shit.
__________________
Speaking simply... do not confuse this with having a simple mind. |
02-03-2010, 08:56 PM | #3225 |
Back in 10
Join Date: Aug 2008
Posts: 3,684
|
HOW WOULD THE WORLD BE DIFFERENT IF
PEOPLE DIDN'T GET MARRIED?
HOW DO YOU DECIDE WHO TO MARRY? (written by kids) (1) You got to find somebody who likes the same stuff. Like, if you like sports, she should like it that you like sports, and she should keep the chips and dip coming. - Alan, age 10 (2) No person really decides before they grow up who they're going to marry. God decides it all way before, and you get to find out later who you're stuck with. - Kristen, age 10 WHAT IS THE RIGHT AGE TO GET MARRIED? (1) Twenty-three is the best age because you know the person FOREVER by then. - Camille, age 10 (2) No age is good to get married at. You got to be a fool to get married. - Freddie, age 6 (very wise for his age) HOW CAN A STRANGER TELL IF TWO PEOPLE ARE MARRIED? (1) You might have to guess, based on whether they seem to be yelling at the same kids. - Derrick, age 8 WHAT DO YOU THINK YOUR MOM AND DAD HAVE IN COMMON? (1) Both don't want any more kids.. - Lori, age 8 WHAT DO MOST PEOPLE DO ON A DATE? (1) Dates are for having fun, and people should use them to get to know each other. Even boys have something to say if you listen long enough. - Lynnette, age 8 (isn't she a treasure) (2) On the first date, they just tell each other lies and that usually gets them interested enough to go for a second date. - Martin, age 10 (Who said boys do not have brains) WHAT WOULD YOU DO ON A FIRST DATE THAT WAS TURNING SOUR? (1) I'd run home and play dead. The next day I would call all the newspapers and make sure they wrote about me in all the dead columns. -Craig, age 9 WHEN IS IT OKAY TO KISS SOMEONE? (1) When they're rich. - Pam, age 7 (I could not have said it better myself) (2) The law says you have to be eighteen, so I wouldn't want to mess with that. - Curt, age 7 (Good Point) (3 ) The rule goes like this: If you kiss someone, then you should marry them and have kids with them. It's the right thing to do. - Howard, age 8 (Who made the rule) IS IT BETTER TO BE SINGLE OR MARRIED? It's better for girls to be single but not for boys. Boys need someone to clean up after them. - Anita, age 9 (bless you child) (1 ) There sure would be lot of kids to explain, wouldn't there? - Kelvin, age 8 And the #1 Favorite is........ HOW WOULD YOU MAKE A MARRIAGE WORK? (1 ) Tell your wife that she looks pretty, even if she looks like a truck. - Ricky, age 10
__________________
Speaking simply... do not confuse this with having a simple mind. |
Tags |
humor |
Currently Active Users Viewing This Thread: 42 (0 members and 42 guests) | |
Thread Tools | |
Display Modes | |
|
|