Weird News

[Carruthers]

Forensic testing of 400-year-old pipes suggest playwright might have smoked more than just tobacco

South African scientists have discovered that 400-year-old tobacco pipes excavated from the garden of William Shakespeare contained cannabis, suggesting the playwright might have written some of his famous works while high.

Residue from early 17th century clay pipes found in the playwright’s garden, and elsewhere in Stratford-Upon-Avon, were analysed in Pretoria using a sophisticated technique called gas chromatography mass spectrometry, the Independent reports.

Of the 24 fragments of pipe loaned from the Shakespeare Birthplace Trust to University of the Witwatersrand, cannabis was found in eight samples, four of which came from Shakespeare's property.

There was also evidence of cocaine in two pipes, but neither of them hailed from the playwright's garden.

Shakespeare's sonnets suggest he was familiar with the effects of both drugs.

In Sonnet 76, he writes about “invention in a noted weed", which could be interpreted to mean that Shakespeare was willing to use “weed”, or cannabis, while he was writing.

In the same sonnet it appears that he would prefer not to be associated with “compounds strange”, which can be interpreted, at least potentially, to mean “strange drugs” (possibly cocaine).

Well, I suppose that might go some way towards explaining his 'comedies'.

Daily Telegraph

[Carruthers]

Nehemiah Palmer is given an additional six month prison sentence after being caught attempting to smuggle a mobile phone and charger into prison.

A prisoner was caught suggling a mobile phone and a charger in his bottom as he was begining a jail sentence.

Nehemiah Palmer was apprehended with both items inside his body as he was being checked into Cardiff Prison where he was completing a 16-month sentence for fraud.

The bulky items were detected when the 30-year-old was subjected to an electronic bottom scan in a so called "electric chair".

The authorities then had to wait for nature to take its course before he was charged in connection with the smuggling attempt.

Ian Kolvin, prosecuting, said: "A phone and charger were recovered and he said he had been told by two men to take them in with him."

During Thursday's hearing at Cardiff Crown Court, Judge Thomas Crowther QC asked the prosecution: "Was this a standard charger?"

Mr Kolvin replied: "I believe so."

Palmer was jailed for an additional six months for his smuggling attempt.

Judge Crowther, detailing the recovery of the items, told Palmer: “You were put in a cell and nature took its course. You produced a mobile phone and its charger apparently from your rectum."

In mitigation for Palmer, who is from south London, David Rees, his solicitor, said he had become "embroiled" with others in a fraud involving the cloning of bank cards in the autumn of 2014.

He would have been due for release in four weeks' time - the half-way point of his 16-month term - if it had not been for the phone smuggling.

"He wasn't acting under duress but pressure had been put on him," Mr Rees told the court.

Jailing Palmer again, the judge said he had the possibility of a "bright future" in front of him with the offer of work with a charity caring for the homeless.

"But that future career will have to be delayed now," he said.

A phone AND a charger.

Perhaps somebody told him to 'shove it up your...'

Perhaps not.

Daily Telegraph

[Sundae]

During Thursday's hearing at Cardiff Crown Court, Judge Thomas Crowther QC asked the prosecution: "Was this a standard charger?"

Mr Kolvin replied: "I believe so."

The whole (hole?) article was amusing, but that part had me really braying with laughter.

[Carruthers]

Never let it be said that the British Judiciary lacks a sense of humour.

[xoxoxoBruce]

Electronic bottom scan? Have the guards lost any other perks?

[Gravdigr]

...butt-dialing...

Also:

Ouch. Twice. Each. Four times, in, and, out.

During Thursday's hearing at Cardiff Crown Court, Judge Thomas Crowther QC asked the prosecution: "Was this a standard charger?"

Mr Kolvin replied: "I believe so."

That was very funny. I can actually hear Cleese and Idle when I think about that exchange. Very Python-esque.

[Pamela]

Thank goodness I am not the only one who read that in Cleese's voice!

[Undertoad]

Originally Posted by Carruthers

A phone AND a charger.

A phone and a British charger. Not one of the newer murican bunch that crunches down to a tiny cube. Do you lot have the compact foldy ones now, or does British respect for grounding mean there were definitely three prongs sticking out?

[Carruthers]

Originally Posted by Undertoad

A phone and a British charger. Not one of the newer murican bunch that crunches down to a tiny cube. Do you lot have the compact foldy ones now, or does British respect for grounding mean there were definitely three prongs sticking out?

We still go in for the three pin plug configuration.

We're anally retentive in that respect. So, it would seem, was Mr Palmer.

[Griff]

Well played C.

[Gravdigr]

From the story, the gentleman in question did not come across as that well grounded...

[Carruthers]

Originally Posted by Gravdigr

From the story, the gentleman in question did not come across as that well grounded...

I disagree. I thought that he was very down to Earth.

[Lamplighter]

Pay-back's a bitch ...

Lion kills guide in ‘Cecil’ safari park in Africa
The Australian - 8/26/15

A lion charged and killed a safari guide who was leading a group of tourists
in the same national park in Zimbabwe that was the home of Cecil the lion
who was controversially killed by an American bow hunter in July.

[xoxoxoBruce]

See! See!, if that guide had a bow & arrow he'd still be alive. But the left wing, socialist, commie, democrats, want to take our bows & arrows.

[Happy Monkey]

Gerrymandered district has one voter - accidentally.

They were trying for zero.