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Old 04-17-2011, 03:25 PM   #3946
lookout123
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The Indian Chief was asked by a government official, "You have observed the white man for 90 years. You've seen his wars and his technological advances. You've seen his progress, and the damage he's done."

The Chief nodded in agreement. The official continued, "Considering all these events, in your opinion, where did the white man go wrong?"

The Chief stared at the government official for over a minute and then calmly replied. "When white man find land, Indians running it, no taxes, no debt, plenty buffalo, plenty beaver, clean water. Women did all the work, Medicine man free. Indian man spend all day hunting and fishing; all night having sex."

Then the chief leaned back and smiled. "Only white man dumb enough to think he can improve system like that!"
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Old 04-19-2011, 08:43 PM   #3947
TheMercenary
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That was good....
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Old 04-20-2011, 05:16 AM   #3948
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Old 04-21-2011, 03:05 AM   #3949
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Old 04-24-2011, 10:14 AM   #3950
jimhelm
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The following questions were seen in last year's GED examination. These are genuine answers (from 16 year olds)............ and they WILL breed.

Q. Name the four seasons
A. Salt, pepper, mustard and vinegar

Q. Explain one of the processes by which water can be made safe to drink
A. Flirtation makes water safe to drink because it removes large pollutants like grit, sand, dead sheep and canoeists

Q. How is dew formed
A. The sun shines down on the leaves and makes them perspire

Q. What causes the tides in the oceans
A. The tides are a fight between the earth and the moon. All water tends to flow towards the moon, because there is no water on the moon, and nature abhors a vacuum. I forget where the sun joins the fight

Q. What guarantees may a mortgage company insist on
A. If you are buying a house they will insist that you are well endowed

Q. In a democratic society, how important are elections
A. Very important. Sex can only happen when a male gets an election

Q. What are steroids
A. Things for keeping carpets still on the stairs (Shoot yourself now , there is little hope)

Q.. What happens to your body as you age
A. When you get old, so do your bowels and you get intercontinental

Q. What happens to a boy when he reaches puberty
A. He says goodbye to his boyhood and looks forward to his adultery (So true)

Q. Name a major disease associated with cigarettes
A. Premature death

Q. What is artificial insemination
A. When the farmer does it to the bull instead of the cow

Q. How can you delay milk turning sour
A. Keep it in the cow (Simple, but brilliant)

Q. How are the main 20 parts of the body categorised (e.g. The abdomen)
A. The body is consisted into 3 parts - the brainium, the borax and the abdominal cavity. The brainium contains the brain, the borax contains the heart and lungs and the abdominal cavity contains the five bowels: A, E, I,O,U.. (wtf!)

Q. What is the fibula?
A. A small lie

Q. What does 'varicose' mean?
A. Nearby

Q. What is the most common form of birth control
A. Most people prevent contraception by wearing a condominium (That would work)

Q. Give the meaning of the term 'Caesarean section'
A. The caesarean section is a district in Rome

Q. What is a seizure?
A. A Roman Emperor. (Julius Seizure, I came, I saw, I had a fit)

Q. What is a terminal illness
A. When you are sick at the airport. (Irrefutable)

Q. Give an example of a fungus. What is a characteristic feature?
A. Mushrooms. They always grow in damp places and they look like umbrellas

Q. Use the word 'judicious' in a sentence to show you understand its meaning
A. Hands that judicious can be soft as your face. (OMG)

Q. What does the word 'benign' mean?
A. Benign is what you will be after you be eight (brilliant)

Q. What is a turbine?
A. Something an Arab or Shreik wears on his head



.
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Old 04-24-2011, 04:36 PM   #3951
toranokaze
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Q. Explain one of the processes by which water can be made safe to drink
A. Flirtation makes water safe to drink because it removes large pollutants like grit, sand, dead sheep and canoeists


But that one is right
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Old 04-24-2011, 04:41 PM   #3952
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Flirtation?
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Old 04-24-2011, 09:54 PM   #3953
ZenGum
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Quote:
These are genuine answers (from 16 year olds)............ and they WILL breed.
They probably already have!
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Old 04-25-2011, 09:09 AM   #3954
infinite monkey
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Why are 16 year olds taking the GED?

3. Who is eligible to take the GED test?
The GED test is for adults who are 19 years old or older who have not graduated from high school. In certain circumstances you can take the test if you are 16 to 18 years old.

http://www.my-ged.com/ged_faqs_and_tips.html#eligible

What circumstances, so they can work on the family farm, or in the family meth lab?

Sorry, just being a joke-pooper.
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Old 04-25-2011, 09:48 AM   #3955
footfootfoot
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I took the GED and I don't recall any questions like those. Maybe he meant SAT?

In any case, I doubt the veracity of that collection.
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Old 04-25-2011, 09:50 AM   #3956
infinite monkey
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Those wouldn't be SAT or ACT questions.

Probably standardized test question for NCLB!

It's funny, though.
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Old 04-25-2011, 01:08 PM   #3957
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Quote:
Originally Posted by HungLikeJesus View Post
Flirtation?
I'm pretty sure they should have said filtration. :-)
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Old 04-25-2011, 03:40 PM   #3958
footfootfoot
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Quote:
Originally Posted by infinite monkey View Post
Those wouldn't be SAT or ACT questions.

Probably standardized test question for NCLB!

It's funny, though.
"Give IM another chance!"
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Old 04-25-2011, 03:42 PM   #3959
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Another chance at what?
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Old 04-25-2011, 05:37 PM   #3960
monster
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russian roulette?
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