|
Arts & Entertainment Give meaning to your life or distract you from it for a while |
|
Thread Tools | Display Modes |
06-22-2010, 03:24 AM | #406 |
Banned
Join Date: Jun 2010
Posts: 8
|
The top ten signs that someone is using your e-mail account
10. "Honey, why is an 18-wheeler from Amazon.com backing into our driveway?" 9. One Secret Service agent is sitting on your head while another is slapping cuffs on you. 8. Apparently, your flame war with DonCorleone@mafia.com is about to turn ugly. 7. When you log on, your computer says "You've got lawsuits!" 6. You're suddenly getting more Spam than the Hormel outlet store. 5. Sotheby's says the Rembrandt is yours and that you now owe them $71,000,000 and change. 4. You now have 130,000 ClubTop5 subscriptions and the list moderator is on the cover of Business Week. 3. Terse "Knock it off, Oedipus" e-mail from your Mom. 2. Your wife calls you at the office to report that Pogdi, your Pakistani mail-order bride, has arrived. 1. "The resistance welcomes your involvement. Your contact information has been forwarded to a local insurgent who will bring supplies and reinforcements to you immediately." |
06-22-2010, 03:50 AM | #407 |
Professor
Join Date: Apr 2010
Location: Brest (FRANCE)
Posts: 1,837
|
If it is true that you are what you eat then I am....
.... a pussy.
__________________
"War is God's way of teaching Americans geography." - Ambrose Bierce |
06-22-2010, 04:56 AM | #408 |
Professor
Join Date: Apr 2010
Location: Brest (FRANCE)
Posts: 1,837
|
Q: How many babies does it take to paint a room?
A: One... If you throw it hard enough
__________________
"War is God's way of teaching Americans geography." - Ambrose Bierce |
06-24-2010, 05:11 AM | #409 |
Professor
Join Date: Apr 2010
Location: Brest (FRANCE)
Posts: 1,837
|
Pick the odd one out: a woman, a washing machine, a toaster and the garden hose?
The toaster, the rest leak when they're fucked.
__________________
"War is God's way of teaching Americans geography." - Ambrose Bierce |
06-28-2010, 02:33 PM | #410 |
Guest
Posts: n/a
|
how did canada get its name?
You take a C eh, and an N eh, and you take a D eh |
06-28-2010, 02:37 PM | #411 |
Guest
Posts: n/a
|
view from a black man in a well
|
06-30-2010, 04:10 AM | #412 |
Professor
Join Date: Apr 2010
Location: Brest (FRANCE)
Posts: 1,837
|
Q: Why does the bride always wear white?
A: Because it is good for the dishwasher to match the stove and refrigerator.
__________________
"War is God's way of teaching Americans geography." - Ambrose Bierce |
07-02-2010, 03:25 PM | #414 |
The Un-Tuckian
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: South Central...KY that is
Posts: 39,517
|
.
__________________
These statements have not been evaluated by the FDA, EPA, FBI, DEA, CDC, or FDIC. These statements are not intended to diagnose, cause, treat, cure, or prevent any disease. If you feel you have been harmed/offended by, or, disagree with any of the above statements or images, please feel free to fuck right off. |
07-05-2010, 03:59 AM | #415 |
Professor
Join Date: Apr 2010
Location: Brest (FRANCE)
Posts: 1,837
|
Q: Why do men have assholes?
A: So they won't be total pricks.
__________________
"War is God's way of teaching Americans geography." - Ambrose Bierce |
08-30-2010, 07:45 AM | #416 |
Professor
Join Date: Apr 2010
Location: Brest (FRANCE)
Posts: 1,837
|
Q: What does Kurt Cobain and Michaelangelo have in common?
A: They both used their brains to paint the ceiling.
__________________
"War is God's way of teaching Americans geography." - Ambrose Bierce |
08-30-2010, 09:57 AM | #418 |
Nearly done.
Join Date: Jul 2007
Location: Teetering on the edge.
Posts: 1,134
|
That was awful - but it made me laugh!
I told my daughter, she's in the shower now and I can still hear her giggling. |
08-30-2010, 10:04 AM | #419 |
Master Locutor
Join Date: Jan 2009
Location: Iowa
Posts: 155
|
How are Michael Phelps and Hitler different?
Phelps can finish a race. |
08-30-2010, 06:47 PM | #420 |
Operations Operative
Join Date: Sep 2003
Location: scotland/uk
Posts: 664
|
There was a news report that
the flood in Pakistan was the act of a Suicide Plumber |
Tags |
humor |
Currently Active Users Viewing This Thread: 2 (0 members and 2 guests) | |
Thread Tools | |
Display Modes | |
|
|