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Parenting Bringing up the shorties so they aren't completely messed up

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Old 06-12-2009, 09:26 AM   #466
classicman
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HA - very funny!
and welcome to the cellar.
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Old 06-12-2009, 10:00 AM   #467
Shawnee123
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Quote:
Originally Posted by DeepOne View Post
I have one that's more me embarrassing my son than him saying something funny.
He comes out of the kitchen with a handful of nuts and says "you know, I like nuts by themselves, but I don't like them mixed up in things"
and my husband and I just sat there giggling and snickering and he goes "ugh, you guys are supposed to be the mature ones".
Excellent!

And welcome!
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Old 06-22-2009, 12:36 PM   #468
Shawnee123
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More from the mouth of the now 4 year old (birthday was Saturday):

4YO: Mommy can we watch (whatever it was) when we get home?

Mommy: Honey, they took that off, we can't watch it anymore (it was something free on HBO on Demand or something.)

4YO: Those terrorists, always taking the movies we want to watch.
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Old 06-23-2009, 01:13 PM   #469
BigV
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(SonofV, musically)
"...dee dah dah, But you did, but you did,
And I thank you!"

(slightly aggravated)
Dad! You got that song stuck in my head!!!"

Hahahah! You're welcome, son! No problem.
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Old 06-25-2009, 08:00 PM   #470
lumberjim
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a brief exchange between jinx and myself over gchat:

jinx: I really need to stop finding your toothpick/flosser things on my desk, kthxbai

jim: you can't prove it was me

jinx: I could kill you in your sleep and see if it stops happening

I Lolled. out loud.
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Old 06-25-2009, 08:02 PM   #471
Shawnee123
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Has anyone else noticed the whole "jinx kills jim" theme?
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Old 06-25-2009, 08:04 PM   #472
Aliantha
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I've noticed. I keep wondering when she's going to stop threatening and follow through. lol

Not that I really want lumberjim dead or anything.
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Old 06-25-2009, 08:19 PM   #473
lumberjim
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shouldn't you be busy neglecting your child?
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Old 06-25-2009, 08:21 PM   #474
Aliantha
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Shouldn't you be busy picking your teeth?

eta: I have never neglected my children.
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Last edited by Aliantha; 06-25-2009 at 09:28 PM.
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Old 08-23-2009, 12:45 AM   #475
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A few days back Miss Dallas was, much against her will, helping Mrs. Dallas with the laundry. She thought it was absolutely hilarious that the Hanes boxer briefs I wear have pockets.

What she didn't realize was that the "Hanes" logo goes at the front left hip. Not in the center. What she thought was a "pocket" on the right side was really the y-front fly.
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Old 09-19-2009, 09:45 PM   #476
Clodfobble
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You know that kid schtick where they ask a really complicated question right as you're trying to put them to bed?

Tonight's question from my stepdaughter was, "Why isn't electricity affected by gravity?"

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Old 09-19-2009, 10:43 PM   #477
SteveDallas
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So.... what'd you tell her???
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Old 09-20-2009, 12:47 AM   #478
wolf
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Because Mommy and Daddy Fobble haven't paid the gravity bill.

Alternate answer: Well, it is, but because electricity is invisible you can't see it leaking out of the outlets and running down the walls and all over the floor. That's why you can scuff your good shoes on the carpet to collect up all the electricity that fell down there and then make a spark by touching someone's nose.

It's never too early to start screwing them up.
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Old 09-20-2009, 09:56 AM   #479
Clodfobble
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Mr. Fob told her that electricity wasn't a thing so much as a movement. He pushed her in the arm and said, "My arm is affected by gravity, your shoulder is affected by gravity... but that push you felt wasn't affected by gravity. Now go to bed."
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Old 09-29-2009, 09:35 AM   #480
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I confirmed to Thor that he would be getting a new shirt and socks for his hockey team -with the pro team (Whalers) logo on it. He said "I'm frozen with delight" (in a non-sarcastic way). aaaawww.
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