What's upsetting you today?

[Shawnee123]

Originally Posted by Clodfobble

Short notice is one thing, but telling you you have to give back the money they accidentally gave you a month ago and more? That's ballsy. Sorry SG.

Ugh...yeah...we actually have to do that a lot in my work too.

[Lamplighter]

Same thing with Social Security or Unemployment in the US.

When you are retired (>62) and getting SS and die, the friendly folk at SS go straight into your bank account and withdraw that month's payment.
They argue that SS payments are made in advance, and since you died during that month you were not entitled to that month's payment !

[monster]

Darling Hector's Goalie Stick broke. He is sad. More so because he's tired, but it still sucks. Big welling up tears that he tries to hold back in big blue eyes.

He set his heart on playing hockey in December, when he could barely skate. He spent 4 months in an instructional program. He worked hard. Then he joined a spring league for which he had to learn to check. He worked hard. He spent six weeks playing hockey 3-4 times a week. At the end of the season, he set his heart on being a goalie. He started by moving to goal in soccer. Now he spends all his spare time out on his roller blades with a stick and ball or watching goalie vids on youtube. He works hard.

I found some cheap but good condition goalie leg pads. He rollerblades in those, and practices the butterfly. Not an easy move on rollerblades. Last week, I found an ice hockey goalie stick the right hand and right size for $3. And a couple of street hockey goalie sticks and helmets. He was made up. He practiced with the street stuff and loved the ice stick.

Summer clinics started this week. The powers that be arranged for him to practice with the one for the age group below his as well as his own -as a goalie. On Tuesday, they kitted him out and approved his stick as in suitable condition etc. Tonight was his second time out. In a clinic with kids up to 4 years older. The biggest and bestest kid took a slapshot, which Hector saved with the end of his stick. Alas,"Woody" was KIA.

RIP Woody.

He has a replacement loaner stick, but I suspect it's like writing off your first car.

[Shawnee123]

Awww, poor kid. This was so nicely written, though, monster. It must be hard to see your kids disappointed and sad, especially when they've worked hard for something.

I will raise a toast to Woody tonight.

[monster]

This morning the sadness is mostly replaced with a quiet pride in a valiant sacrifice he's carrying it around like a trophy.

[classicman]

Wonderful! Thats coo'. Look how tough I am, I broke this stick...
I tried to reply about 3 times earlier... never came out right.

Good for him!

[Sundae]

Originally Posted by classicman

Why did it take them so long to notify you? That seems very unusual. I get notices months in advance regarding that type of thing.

Still sucks, they should have given you much more warning. Nothing like a little time to plan accordingly.

It wasn't the notification that took so long, it was probably reviewing the paperwork. The letter itself was dated 13 July, so it only took two days to reach me - pretty good for the Benefits office.

Originally Posted by monster

Didn't they tell you at the medical review that you were no longer going to be eligable?

No, the review is to ensure whether you are eligible, no mention of the fact that is might take two months to reach a decision and you might get four days notice. Last time I got my decision through within a week. To be honest, if I'd realised the criteria I would be judged on I would have answered accordingly - it would still have been the truth, but I'd have been aware of what the triggers are.

I am appealing the decision, and while the appeal is going through they will pay me at the Appraisal rate (a lot lower, but still something). But they can't start that until they receive the appeal form. Which I have to fill in and send back along with evidence. It hasn't arrived yet.

I am tempted to just give it up and apply for Job Seekers' Allowance. It will help my self-worth to be back on the jobs market. Especially over the summer when I won't be at school. I do feel I am able to get up in the mornings now, and commit to a working day. I have grown in confidence during the time of volunterring and have never felt the paralysing dread I used to feel on a workday when I was in the NHS. It was more the shock of finding myself not only penniless but actually in debt which hit me yesterday. Especially as I've taken control over all my debts and am now only paying back two out of the original six.

It's a setback. Not a disaster. I've bounced back in trickier circumstances. At least I have a goal in mind now - getting to do the job I volunteer for and getting paid for it! I'll admit I so could have done without it though.

Mum and I were going to a bonding meal at the local catering college the week after next. Three course set meal for £10.
The best laid plans of mice and men, eh?

Summer “Credit Crunch” Menu

Starters
Cream of Tomato and Basil Soup
Crab, Avocado and Pink Grapefruit Salad

Main Courses
Pan-Fried Supreme of Salmon with wilted Spinach and herb Butter
Escalope of Breaded Pork with Boulangere Potato and Sauce Provençal
Tatin of Roasted Shallot, Beetroot and Goat’s Cheese with Tomato Coulis
Section of new potatoes and vegetables

Desserts
White Chocolate Mousse with Passion Fruit Coulis
Fresh Fruit Salad

Tea, Coffee or Fruit Infusions - £1.00

Yumyum

[DanaC]

Sundae; you'll still be able to volunteer whilst you are claiming Job seekers Allowance (if they decide to dismiss you appeal). You can only do 16 hours per week (I believe) and you have to be able to show that you're actively seeking work, as well as understand that if they suddenly decide to send you on a jobseeker course, or you find a job, you'll go with that.

This sort of sudden notice is unfortunately very common. Don;t be too put out by the money they are saying you owe them. If worse comes to worst, and you do end up with that debt, they usually accept ridiculously low repayments, which you can have taken directly out of your JSA benefits. You can probably argue no more than £5 a fortnight.

Still, a kick in the teeth

The problem with the medical assessments that they do for this is that it is not the doctor's job to assess if you have medical problems. It is the doctor's job to assess whether or not you are capable of work. That means any work, of any kind, for any amount of hours. They absolutely do not take into account the fact that a lot of things that render someone incapable of work aren't constant, they come and go. This means they are particularly bad at assessing any kind of mental health issues such as depression.

What this all means is actually, the worst possible thing you can do in these assessments is answer their questions truthfully and without attempting to actively skew their decision. Their default setting is to try and prove that you are capable of work. Your default setting needs therefore to be trying to prove incapacity. Every time you give an answer that might suggest that at some level they can expect you to go to work; you need to include sufficient caveats to that to give them pause for thought.

I 'played' that system for a couple of years. I genuinely was not able to cope with a workplace environment at the time. I had to play up elements of the depression I was going through and play down my capacity to cope, because otherwise they'd have thrown me in at a deep end in whch i would have drowned. At the same time, having to try and give the impression that i actually wanted to go to work (less difficult for you I'd imagine).

It's a shit way of assessing people. The more honest you are, the less likely you are to get the help you need.

[Trilby]

Dana is wise grasshopper.

[Clodfobble]

Originally Posted by Clodfobble

My good friend's daughter has just started down the road to being autistic, but my friend doesn't understand or believe it yet.

Update: my friend's daughter is now speaking maybe half as much as she was 6 weeks ago. My friend says she's "going through a shy phase." Of what she does say, about a third is now unintelligible. My friend says that "her speech is advancing so rapidly, she's saying all these new phrases and I can't keep up with what she's telling me." She is also "going through a phase" where she is terrified of moderately loud noises, and her arms are suddenly hyper-sensitive to touch, to the point that she will throw tantrums when, say, a bath towel is used to dry them off.

For those of you who still think I'm pulling this stuff out of my ass, keep in mind that I should have a less than 1% chance of correctly predicting a random child's diagnosis.

[Getgo]

Surprisingly nothing.

[Razzmatazz13]

I am soooo sick of coming home to no one to talk to. There's too much stuff in my head for this right now. I can't wait until he's somewhere that I can go too.

[monster]

Not exactly "upsetting", but sad... MIL is here right now, and just received an email that the second of our cats that we left behind in the UK with her died peacefully earlier today. She was 17, so it was a good age, and she wasn't suffering like her brother who was euthenised a year or so ago. RIP Artemis (Temi)

[Clodfobble]

Today on the phone my father asked if I'd "taken any trips, gone anywhere interesting" recently. I mean, I know he's a little oblivious to the realities of my daily life, but come on. Christ on a cracker.

[Pooka]

Seems like everyone around us is divorcing right now... family included... I know I shouldn't take it personally... Flint and I are great, but I am deeply saddned... and confused... I feel a deep loss. Even the family we had designated to get our kids gawd forbid something happen to us... getting divorced... I just don't know what to do... it really fucks things up for us... we thought long and hard before deciding on them and there is literally no one else I can imagine filling their shoes.