Humor...I Need Humor... - Page 383

Glinda · 01-30-2019, 08:14 AM

*snort!* <-- meat noise

xoxoxoBruce · 01-30-2019, 09:15 AM

The bottom line is THE bottom line.

Carruthers · 01-30-2019, 10:15 AM

Would that be the same alien who wrote home...

Dear Mum,

Since I last wrote, I've grown another foot.

So all those extra socks you sent will be very useful.

xoxoxoBruce · 01-30-2019, 11:24 AM

Extra socks would meat his needs.

Carruthers · 01-30-2019, 11:36 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by xoxoxoBruce

Extra socks would meat his needs.

One all!

Gravdigr · 01-30-2019, 01:59 PM

That was a lot of work for not a lot of payoff.

Good thing it's Bucket Night, cuz I'm a Bucket Knight.

And I'm hoping to meat my bartendress later.

Gravdigr · 01-30-2019, 02:27 PM

Gotta love this guy:

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Gravdigr · 01-31-2019, 12:28 PM

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Gravdigr · 02-04-2019, 05:25 PM

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Woodrow has surprisingly good penmanship.

Happy Monkey · 02-04-2019, 06:16 PM

Took me a second to realize that "someone else" has three separate prose works, rather than one incomprehensible subtitle.

glatt · 02-07-2019, 01:12 PM

Took me a second to realize that you were saying "without feathers getting even side effects" makes no sense.

Gravdigr · 02-07-2019, 01:26 PM

He did. And it doesn't.

Gravdigr · 02-07-2019, 01:42 PM

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Gravdigr · 02-07-2019, 01:50 PM

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Gravdigr · 02-09-2019, 01:31 PM

Bert 80, always wanted a pair of authentic cowboy boots. So, seeing some on sale, he bought them and wore them home. Walking proudly, he sauntered into the kitchen and said to his wife, “Notice anything different about me?”
Margaret, 75, looked him over.

“Nope.”

Frustrated, Bert stormed off into the bathroom, undressed and walked back into the kitchen completely naked except for the boots. Again he asked Margaret, a little louder this time, “Notice anything different NOW?”

Margaret looked up and said in her best deadpan, “Bert, what’s different? It’s hanging down today, it was hanging down yesterday, it’ll be hanging down again tomorrow.”

Furious, Bert yelled, “AND DO YOU KNOW WHY IT’S HANGING DOWN, MARGARET?”

“Nope. Not a clue,” she replied.

“IT’S HANGING DOWN, BECAUSE IT’S LOOKING AT MY NEW BOOTS!!”

Without missing a beat, Margaret replied, “Shoulda bought a hat, Bert! Shoulda bought a hat!”

01-30-2019, 09:15 AM	#5732
xoxoxoBruce The future is unwritten Join Date: Oct 2002 Posts: 71,105	The bottom line is THE bottom line. __________________ The descent of man ~ Nixon, Friedman, Reagan, Trump.

01-30-2019, 10:15 AM	#5733
Carruthers Junior Master Dwellar Join Date: Dec 2009 Location: Buckinghamshire UK Posts: 4,059	Would that be the same alien who wrote home... Dear Mum, Since I last wrote, I've grown another foot. So all those extra socks you sent will be very useful. __________________

01-30-2019, 11:24 AM	#5734
xoxoxoBruce The future is unwritten Join Date: Oct 2002 Posts: 71,105	Extra socks would meat his needs. __________________ The descent of man ~ Nixon, Friedman, Reagan, Trump.

01-30-2019, 01:59 PM	#5736
Gravdigr The Un-Tuckian Join Date: Apr 2007 Location: South Central...KY that is Posts: 39,517	That was a lot of work for not a lot of payoff. Good thing it's Bucket Night, cuz I'm a Bucket Knight. And I'm hoping to meat my bartendress later. __________________ These statements have not been evaluated by the FDA, EPA, FBI, DEA, CDC, or FDIC. These statements are not intended to diagnose, cause, treat, cure, or prevent any disease. If you feel you have been harmed/offended by, or, disagree with any of the above statements or images, please feel free to fuck right off.

01-30-2019, 02:27 PM	#5737
Gravdigr The Un-Tuckian Join Date: Apr 2007 Location: South Central...KY that is Posts: 39,517	Gotta love this guy: __________________ These statements have not been evaluated by the FDA, EPA, FBI, DEA, CDC, or FDIC. These statements are not intended to diagnose, cause, treat, cure, or prevent any disease. If you feel you have been harmed/offended by, or, disagree with any of the above statements or images, please feel free to fuck right off.

01-30-2019, 08:14 AM	#5731
Glinda Fucktard Resistance League Join Date: Jun 2008 Location: 1.14 acres of heaven Posts: 1,512	snort! <-- meat noise

01-31-2019, 12:28 PM	#5738
Gravdigr The Un-Tuckian Join Date: Apr 2007 Location: South Central...KY that is Posts: 39,517	__________________ These statements have not been evaluated by the FDA, EPA, FBI, DEA, CDC, or FDIC. These statements are not intended to diagnose, cause, treat, cure, or prevent any disease. If you feel you have been harmed/offended by, or, disagree with any of the above statements or images, please feel free to fuck right off.

02-04-2019, 05:25 PM	#5739
Gravdigr The Un-Tuckian Join Date: Apr 2007 Location: South Central...KY that is Posts: 39,517	Woodrow has surprisingly good penmanship. __________________ These statements have not been evaluated by the FDA, EPA, FBI, DEA, CDC, or FDIC. These statements are not intended to diagnose, cause, treat, cure, or prevent any disease. If you feel you have been harmed/offended by, or, disagree with any of the above statements or images, please feel free to fuck right off.

02-04-2019, 06:16 PM	#5740
Happy Monkey I think this line's mostly filler. Join Date: Jan 2003 Location: DC Posts: 13,575	Took me a second to realize that "someone else" has three separate prose works, rather than one incomprehensible subtitle. __________________ _________________ \|...............\| We live in the nick of times. \| Len 17, Wid 3 \| \|_______________\| [pics]

02-07-2019, 01:12 PM	#5741
glatt ™ Join Date: Jul 2003 Location: Arlington, VA Posts: 27,717	Took me a second to realize that you were saying "without feathers getting even side effects" makes no sense.

02-07-2019, 01:26 PM	#5742
Gravdigr The Un-Tuckian Join Date: Apr 2007 Location: South Central...KY that is Posts: 39,517	He did. And it doesn't. __________________ These statements have not been evaluated by the FDA, EPA, FBI, DEA, CDC, or FDIC. These statements are not intended to diagnose, cause, treat, cure, or prevent any disease. If you feel you have been harmed/offended by, or, disagree with any of the above statements or images, please feel free to fuck right off.

02-07-2019, 01:42 PM	#5743
Gravdigr The Un-Tuckian Join Date: Apr 2007 Location: South Central...KY that is Posts: 39,517	__________________ These statements have not been evaluated by the FDA, EPA, FBI, DEA, CDC, or FDIC. These statements are not intended to diagnose, cause, treat, cure, or prevent any disease. If you feel you have been harmed/offended by, or, disagree with any of the above statements or images, please feel free to fuck right off.

02-07-2019, 01:50 PM	#5744
Gravdigr The Un-Tuckian Join Date: Apr 2007 Location: South Central...KY that is Posts: 39,517	__________________ These statements have not been evaluated by the FDA, EPA, FBI, DEA, CDC, or FDIC. These statements are not intended to diagnose, cause, treat, cure, or prevent any disease. If you feel you have been harmed/offended by, or, disagree with any of the above statements or images, please feel free to fuck right off. Last edited by Gravdigr; 02-07-2019 at 01:56 PM.

02-09-2019, 01:31 PM	#5745
Gravdigr The Un-Tuckian Join Date: Apr 2007 Location: South Central...KY that is Posts: 39,517	Bert 80, always wanted a pair of authentic cowboy boots. So, seeing some on sale, he bought them and wore them home. Walking proudly, he sauntered into the kitchen and said to his wife, “Notice anything different about me?” Margaret, 75, looked him over. “Nope.” Frustrated, Bert stormed off into the bathroom, undressed and walked back into the kitchen completely naked except for the boots. Again he asked Margaret, a little louder this time, “Notice anything different NOW?” Margaret looked up and said in her best deadpan, “Bert, what’s different? It’s hanging down today, it was hanging down yesterday, it’ll be hanging down again tomorrow.” Furious, Bert yelled, “AND DO YOU KNOW WHY IT’S HANGING DOWN, MARGARET?” “Nope. Not a clue,” she replied. “IT’S HANGING DOWN, BECAUSE IT’S LOOKING AT MY NEW BOOTS!!” Without missing a beat, Margaret replied, “Shoulda bought a hat, Bert! Shoulda bought a hat!” __________________ These statements have not been evaluated by the FDA, EPA, FBI, DEA, CDC, or FDIC. These statements are not intended to diagnose, cause, treat, cure, or prevent any disease. If you feel you have been harmed/offended by, or, disagree with any of the above statements or images, please feel free to fuck right off.

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