What's upsetting you today?

[ZenGum]

Is it refreshing to work in the pawn shop where the resentment is all out in the open?

[Undertoad]

Some of the store atmosphere is loan based but most of it is open racism.

[DanaC]

Nothing like poverty and social distress to ramp up the old racism.

[infinite monkey]

You guys are great, and have really been helpful. Thank you.

Monster, I do remember that and this is that friend I told you about. I think this friendship has beenin trouble for a long time. We just have had so many great times. But really, based on what? I thought it was based on mutual acceptance for who we are. And we've fought and made up, like good friends sometimes do, but I don't know about this time. However, I am forgiving to a fault...but do I want this friendship that I'm not sure is even healthy anymore?

I've let good people fade from my life, never thinking I was good enough I think and hence avoiding the anxiety of the social interaction. This person wouldn't let me do that. She's very determined. And as a sometimes reclusive lonely person sometimes I needed that persistence to force me out of the shell.

So I'm sad. I don't know if we'll talk this one out or not but it seems those underlying 'ideals' may be the end of it. The shit of it is, I'm sure she has no idea how deeply she cut...and may think I'm so damn charmed I will just rise above like us privileged are wont to do.

[DanaC]

My auntie Jaqs, Ma's sister, is convinced that ma lives a charmed life.

Any lucky escape mum has, a fall that was nearly a bad one, or a near miss in the car, she says...told you, there's someone up there looking out for you. According to jaqs, it always works out ok for Mum. She seems, in her view, to skate above life's hurdles and troubles. And Jaq's is a little jealous of Ma's life.

Not quite sure how she reached this conclusion. Where this onlooking protector was when Mum fell down her stairs and broke her ankle, or when her marriage hit the rocks and she was depressed, or the years spent coping with my severe childhood illnesses, I don't know. She's had her share of ups and downs like anyone else. Lost a house to bankruptcy, lost loved ones, a miscarriage, a career destroyed by major back injury, etc etc.

But Mum has the skill of being relatively contented. Sure, she gets down at times. I've known her be depressed, occasionally for an extended period. But overall, she knows how to see the good in her life and knows how to take her happiness where she can.

Where it comes from, i think, is that Mum isn't constantly in a state of family crisis. She's built strong and supportive relationships with her children. She remained very good friends with her ex-husband after they'd divorced. People around her come to her aid if she's having problems.

But that's all stuff she built. And she built it with as many tears as anybody else.

Somehow though, Jaqs sees this as a charmed existence, protected in some way from the worst sufferings of life. Because...Jaqs didn't build those close supportive relationships with her children and then their partners. Her divorces weren't amicable, and the one that generally steps up to help when she's in trouble is Mum.

*shrugs*

It's all about perspective and where you sit.

[infinite monkey]

My brothers have wonderful lives. I know exactly what trials and tribulations my older brother went through to be where he is now. My younger brother does 'seem' to have some charm on his side but a lot of that is them making good decisions and being wonderful people. I wouldn't want anything less, not one iota, because I love him and his successes and happiness make me very happy.

[infinite monkey]

And thinking about this, about what's really important in life, has made me happy. Now I'm in the wrong thread.

[classicman]

You know what I went through a couple years ago and how its changed my life - forever.
Its also altered my perspective on things - one of which being the term "friends."
From what I've read here, this is exactly the type of "friend" you don't need in your life.
I had what I thought were many friends before. I have many now. They're just different people now.
Those who weren't there or were spreading rumors or only there when it was easy ..... OUT! I fired them all.
Some new and amazingly kind, generous and wonderful people came into our lives since that time as well.
They are the people I consider friends now. The others? I couldn't be bothered even thinking about anymore.
They just continued with their lives when we didn't have the same (insert money, time, help.. here) to offer them.
When we were in need they became too busy or couldn't be bothered to help.
Life is different now and the people I consider friends have enriched mine in ways I would have NEVER anticipated.
I really don't miss the others. I didn't expect that to happen.

[classicman]

Oops - go happy! (was composing while you posted)
never mind

[infinite monkey]

No it is good! I need to spend more time with my friend I used to work with who is now at another college too. She, and her b/f, and her family, and her other friends...good people, all.

[zippyt]

infini , for you

[infinite monkey]

I love it! You know, my mom got me one of those stuffed glow worms whose face lit up when you squeezed it, when I was in colllege! Haahhaaa! I can't tell you how many times girls on my floor would ask if they could keep him for a time when they were upset about something: it was strangely comforting. I still have it.

Thanks.

[monster]

Friend's mom died. Not unexpected, but she is a little heartbroken.

[DanaC]

Ach damn sorry for your friend Monster. Never easy to see a mate go through it.

[monster]

Originally Posted by monster

Friend's mom died. Not unexpected, but she is a little heartbroken.

"Funeral service Tuesday instate 9:30 a.m. with mass at 10:00 a.m. "

instate 9:30 -what does this mean? Is it like a pre-service visitation?