What's upsetting you today?

[footfootfoot]

indefinite. Yes. I leave in out sometimes and add in when I oughtn't.


On to other, more doleful tales:
The mm wanted to bring the six new chicks who are pretty much feathered out to their new outdoor quarters since it was such a mild day. The establish hens were not thrilled with the young turks (see what I did there?) and would menace them.

We made a little shelter for the pullets apart from the hens that would exclude the hens.

Six went in but only five came out this morning. No sign of forced entry, no blood, nothing. Eerily, my son had asked me earlier what the TV show X-Files was...

So we brought the pullets back inside until they are a little bigger.


Bonus round:

Mr. and Mrs. Bigger had a baby. Who was the biggest?

The baby because he was a little Bigger.

[DanaC]

Tooms

[glatt]

Originally Posted by footfootfoot

Mr. and Mrs. Bigger had a baby. Who was the biggest?

The baby because he was a little Bigger.

Thank you. I'll have to use this one.

[Sundae]

I like something that will do me a treat.
I don't like people who do me up like a kipper.

[chrisinhouston]

Something occurred 2 weeks ago and it is still weighing heavily on me.

We were up in Pennsylvania visiting my oldest child, my son who left the US Navy after a period of PTSD. Up until a few months ago he had been sort of a caretaker for his mother (my ex) who has failed at handling her own affairs in the years after our divorce. My son had given her a place to stay, handled what little money she had and put up with her BS. It was very stressful for him and his wife, but especially for him with the depression he had from the Navy. Anyway at Christmas while his mother was visiting our daughter near Seattle he made the decision that she could no longer live there as it was making life miserable. So, we visited and in general he and his wife are so much better, less stress and depression. But during our visit my son asked me if he could ask me a very personal question. "Sure" I said knowing questions from my kids like this usually mean a followup question about my marriage or divorce.

He asked if I had ever cheated on his mother and given her an STD. I was shell shocked, for a moment I thought he said LSD! I told him no, I had not and had never even kissed another woman during the 14 years of our marriage before we split up. Then he told me she had told him and his wife I had cheated and given her an STD and it wasn't with a woman but a gay man I used to work with occasionally. Well my wife and I were pretty shocked and when I got home I called my son in Alaska who is currently the caretaker for the mother. I asked him if she had ever told him this story and he said yes recently she told him and his wife. He told me he didn't believe it and just chalked it up to her attitude to life and how she still blames everyone else for all that has gone wrong in her life.

So that night I sent an email to both of my daughters asking about this. My youngest daughter told me her mother told her this lie a year ago when she had stayed with her and her newborn baby. I did not hear from my older daughter so I called her this past Sunday and we talked. She admitted that she had been told this but it was a few years ago when she was finishing college and there was no mention of an STD or a gay encounter. So, Sunday afternoon I sat my youngest son down who lives with us and asked him. He said he had not heard this. Not sure if I fully believe him as he is very close to his mother and is planning on being the next caretaker for her later this year if he can get enough money to get a 2 bedroom apartment.

So I am really pissed and hurt. This bitch who dragged me through a divorce in 1996 and then took my kids away from Houston to live in California and did everything she could to make visitation hard has now raised up and told a major lie about me. But what bothers me almost as much is that while the kids that admitted they were told this fault their mother to some extent, they just chalk it up to mom being mom.

My oldest daughter's wedding is planned for September this year and she and her sister both told me that while they understand how hurt and mad I am they hope I will be civil while at the wedding. I have been nothing but civil over the years and have attended other events with my ex, a wedding, various holiday gatherings, etc. I guess it bothers me that they want me to confirm I will be a nice guy yet no mention is made of their mother being nice.

I am thinking about not attending. My daughter is 31 and she and her fiancee are handling all of this. We even mutually agreed some time back that I won't walk her down the aisle as she is an adult.

Still undecided and I have time to let it settle down but I am royally pissed off.

[DanaC]

God, Chris, that's awful.

But - I'd hesitate before allowing her bullshit to stand in the way of your presence at your girl's wedding.

[chrisinhouston]

Yes, I have time to let the bad feelings settle down. Just not sure if I will say anything more about it. My daughter who is getting married seems more angry with her older brother for stirring all this up and asking the question. I'm just glad he had the balls to ask me, I could have gone to my grave with the kids wondering if this was true or not. She should really be more upset with her mother but that seems to be another story.

[BigV]

well, that's a seriously shitty thing for her to say and do. I'm sorry you've been tarred like this chris. It doesn't sound like any of your kids give any credence to her lies, though they still do cause harm. Of course you can't change anything about her, nor what she says to other people. I think it's smart to protect yourself with whatever space is necessary to keep from getting splashed with her shit, but I find it very sad that you might not attend the wedding of your daughter as a result of your ex wife's bullshit.

As for saying anything more about it? What could you say that you haven't already said? Not counting talking to her about it, because, what a waste of breath that would be. I've been in a similar situation for years where my ex has had the ears of our kids--god only knows what poison has been dripped into their ears--but they've grown to be able to tell the shit from the shinola.

I'm reminded of the aphorism posted outside the church at the start of RHPS:

Be Just and Fear Not.

They'll get it right, even if the ex doesn't.

[Gravdigr]

After everything is over and done with, right before you leave, tell her you're sorry that she was hurt enough to make up lies to this effect. Do this profusely, if you can stand it. Make her feel like shit. And if that don't work, tell her it wasn't a gay man, it was her bff, her sister, or her brother. Or her brother and sister.



I feel for ya, Chris. I probably wouldn't bring it up. I'd just look at her, smile, and chuckle. Out loud.

[DanaC]

Or ...be cordial, and lean in to give her a hallo hug and whisper "you've lied to everybody and made up a story about me sleeping with a man and giving you an std - how sad is that?"

Then break straight away, still smiling and speak to someone else, like all you said was a friendly greeting and a comment about your daughter's wedding.

[Clodfobble]

I'm with Dana and Grav.

It sucks when kids give their crappy-other-parent a pass, but it helps to remember that when you add up all the years, they have had to put up with more of her crap than you have, and they will have to continue dealing with her crap even after this particular tempest. They may know all too well that making a big deal about this will only make their lives harder in the long run.

If this is the kind of person she is, then she would not feel bad even if confronted anyway. She would either double down and accuse you of lying, or find a way to make up a better lie next time so she will be believed. Better to treat her like the child she is. A smirk is always more powerful than a yell. Oh, and make sure you dance very happily with your beautiful wife all night long.

[Gravdigr]

It could have been much worse, really.

She could have said that he beat her with a stick, or something...worse.

[DanaC]

Yeah. That's true Grav. Also - it's such an outlandish accusation to make - that it's unlikely to be believd by anyone.

[xoxoxoBruce]

No, it's perfect. If she claimed he beat her with a stick, where's the wounds, where's the damage, where's the corroborating evidence? She was smart enough to choose something that most people wouldn't pursue out of embarrassment and sympathy for the victim. STD covers a lot of ground and there are many that don't show outward symptoms.

She may be evil, but not stupid.

[fargon]

Originally Posted by xoxoxoBruce

She may be evil, but not stupid.

Stupid people don't go crazy.