What's upsetting you today?

[Undertoad]

Update, she has a cardiac arrhythmia and the doctors want to put in a pacemaker and she won't let them. Spouse thinks he can convince her on this point.

It occurs to me that I don't know as I can continue to tell the story. It's not my story; I can't tell it accurately; I shouldn't speculate; and it's about my friends, and it's not fair. If I knew more, would it be something I could post online? Maybe not.

Spouse is an occasional dwellar, by the fact that we have been friends for 34 years. I hope someday he will tell the story himself.

[xoxoxoBruce]

It isn't like you're doing an investigation for Rolling Stone, just passing ongoing glimpses to friends.

[Sundae]

One of Mum's oldest friends has one of our favourite friends; tumerous growth. Fucking cancer.
The growth is malignant.

It's in his thigh and Mum says it's visible, and as hard as wood. Ignored by his wife, who went with the if-we-don't-talk-about-it-it's-not-there approach. Same woman who told Mum all I needed was "tough love" and she shouldn't let me live with them any more. And we know how that worked out. Although having mistakenly read a letter Mum sent to a friend this May I think I know what was behind that advice. Mum wrote that I was 42 and living like an 18 year old - not a word about my mental health issues or how hard I'd been fighting my addiction. Huh.

Anyway.
Prognosis not good.
The consensus seems to be that once you can actually SEE cancer, you're looking at excising it. And it's high up enough that it would mean a complete limb amputation. 73. Not a great age for massive surgery.

Still, the full diagnosis is not yet in. There is still a little hope.
I don't like his wife, but he was always very kind to me. He's in the system now, so at the very least he'll be getting some pain relief. He's been in serious pain for well over a year now.

In different news, I went to see Still Alice last night (special showing at Otley Courthouse with a Q&A after). Yes, I knew it would upset me. Yes, I cried. I cried my way through my own tissue and then through the one the man next to me offered. Fuck dementia as well.

[Sundae]

It's lymphoma. He's going through chemo. Part hospital based, part home care.
And it's not just in his thigh, it's affected some of his major organs.

But he is not in pain any more.
So he's probably happier than he's been in the last year.

[Clodfobble]

Sorry, Sundae.

[footfootfoot]

I lost my shit on a bunch of customers today in a very big way, although it was only 1/10 of what I had for them.

Maybe I'll get fired. It was pretty intense, even if they were total douche bags. I did, however, warn my boss that I was a ticking time bomb and he might want to deal with these people himself.

He did, I guess because he had to ring them up.

[glatt]

Sorry, man. I hope the boss is understanding.

[footfootfoot]

Thanks.

I wrote out a more detailed post but wasn't sure how identifiable it might be.

The f bomb was dropped, among others and aspersions against people's parents

[it]

Originally Posted by footfootfoot

I lost my shit on a bunch of customers today in a very big way, although it was only 1/10 of what I had for them.

Maybe I'll get fired. It was pretty intense, even if they were total douche bags. I did, however, warn my boss that I was a ticking time bomb and he might want to deal with these people himself.

He did, I guess because he had to ring them up.

I don't know, I thought one of the hardest parts for me of my job - or any service job where you interact with people - is having to keep nice and calm when they are behaving like complete douchebags.

But today I stayed in after my shift for a few minutes with my boss to handle the morning pressure, and had a phone call of just that kind, and my boss was like "why are you... No just hang up. you don't need to take that shit, when someone talks like that just hang up."

Hopefully your employer thinks the same.

[footfootfoot]

It's a bit awkward because we are friends. Not super close, but we've known each other a long time. I know he has issues with this class of customer too, (twice the work, half the money)
On the one hand, he'd rather not have these people as customers, on the other, he doesn't want to turn business away.

I took the next three days off. This was supposed to be a very pert time thing helping out friends who were short staffed, but it has become more than part time and I can't really handle that amount of stress at this point.

I guess I'll find out this friday.

I know I didn't say anything he wasn't thinking.

[glatt]

Originally Posted by footfootfoot

I know I didn't say anything he wasn't thinking.

This helps, I'm sure.

[Gravdigr]

Hopefully.

[it]

Don't you wish every conflict had douchebags though?

The tough situation - who also happen to be my answer for the thread title today - are those that are annoyingly lacking in douchebags, the ones where everyone just does what makes sense and is perfectly right from their perspective out of where they sit on the board, but in the meantime this reshapes the board and bring it to slowly collapse on itself into a shitty game where everyone looses to different degrees.

Examples include the Israeli-Palestinian conflict, developing countries vs the green movement, and as I found out last night, my would-be love life.

I am pissed off at myself for not truly realizing what the situation was until after I've put myself out there and have become way too emotionally invested, pathetically failing to comfort myself with some degree of pride in making the choice to opt-out of the game once I did realize what was happening, and overall extremely disappointed at what it means, sporadically cursing and punching walls every time it sinks in a few more inches into the emotional mud.

The worst part is, I would have probably "won", except that in this case winning just meant loosing slowly with more pain rather then faster with less. I chose less. Maybe one day, under different circumstances... Wishful thinking.

[monster]

This:

http://www.mlive.com/news/ann-arbor/...l#incart_river

I read about the crash and saw the cars and then... the polo coach emailed parents and told us it was a friend of the team and she had told the boys and it didn't look good. Hector was visibly shaken when I picked him up from practice. Thor is away at band camp and doesn't know yet. My kids all knew this polo player. He coached Thor this summer. He's Hebe's age. Saline and Skyline come together to form Wolverine Water Polo out of season. The varsity polo team are away at a tournament, so Hector has support, at least. Oh Fuck. Just needed a little outlet for my grief I guess.



I'm just

[xoxoxoBruce]

Sorry to hear that, monster, stay strong for the kids, but that doesn't mean brush it off by any means. You can help them grieve while you do, it's easier together, knowing you're not alone in your feelings.