The 'What the fuck!' thread

[Carruthers]

A few years back, I worked with a chap who had been in the Royal Navy.
At one stage of his career he served on board the Royal Yacht Britannia where everything of course was ship shape and high standards of naval discipline were upheld. Well, not always.
He told me that in the engine room of the Royal Yacht, a glass jar containing an item of human solid waste, had pride of place on a shelf.
The former owner of this item was said to have been HRH Princess Margaret and it had been retrieved from the ship's waste system for posterity.
Eventually, an inspecting officer caught sight of the jar and and questions were asked.
Shortly thereafter, plumbing downstream of the Royal WCs was equipped with a mechanical device to ensure that solid waste was no longer solid when it reached the bowels of the ship, as it were.
True story.

[Clodfobble]

Ew. I once read that Madonna had it in her rider that she would be taking the toilet seat of her dressing room with her when she left, because more than one had shown up on eBay after she had done a show in a particular venue. Might be urban legend; Snopes has nothing on it.

[Gravdigr]

I thought the screen-in-the-toilet may have been in a police station or security lock up. You know, to catch what someone might be trying to smuggle?

[Sundae]

I wouldn't be surprised if the file name was accurate.
The grate is spotless, as is the toilet - it would be a device used only when the toilet was not in use.

I did wonder if perhaps it was used by Customs or the prison service (for items swallowed or inserted the other way up) but it seems too clean and too easy to remove.

It seems reasonable to me, if you don't want your dogs to drink from the toilet, to put a protective grid there. Like the grid people put over garden ponds to stop cats getting at the fish.

[BigV]

Sundae, I think that is overthinking it. We have dogs; when we want to prevent them from drinking from the toilet, ew, we close the lid. Waaay easier.

[footfootfoot]

They use things like that, There is a movie* about a guy who was a drug mule who was held in a hotel room until he pooped. They put a screen in the toilet but it was locked in place. The one in that picture could be easily removed.

Don't remember the name of it. Based on a true story...

[xoxoxoBruce]

Fruiterer?

[Clodfobble]

At a comedy show I went to, the opener talked about the fact that you couldn't poop in the tour bus's toilet, and that there was even "a little screen" to make sure you didn't. (Then he went into a long segment on how it didn't matter because he always had diarrhea, poor life choices, etc. etc.)

The headliner briefly referred to it as well, so it seemed like it was a genuine thing. But neither of them made it clear if it was because the bus itself didn't have a septic system that could handle it (seems unlikely,) or if the septic system was temporarily broken (maybe, you take what's available when you're renting,) or if this was just a special rule for their tour because if the whole crew was regularly shitting in it they'd have to empty the sewer tank practically every day, and their schedule was too tight to be finding random RV parks all over the country. You get a fancy theater's toilet and shower available to use every single night, just go in there.

[BigV]

That's some funny shit right there.

[BigV]

Which prompts the question,

Which would be worse, having funny shit, or having to shit funny?

*shivers* ew.

[xoxoxoBruce]

Maybe because the bus company is illegally dumping the holding tank and turds/paper are a giveaway.

[glatt]

Just ask Dave Matthews about that.

[footfootfoot]

Originally Posted by BigV

Which prompts the question,

+100 points for not incorrectly using 'begs the question'.

[Gravdigr]

Left the fan on in an ice storm:

[infinite monkey]

Cool!