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Old 03-12-2009, 06:42 AM   #1
ZenGum
Doctor Wtf
 
Join Date: Oct 2007
Location: Badelaide, Baustralia
Posts: 12,861
Euphemisms....

... for sex:
spending some quality time
making the beast with two backs

...for anal sex:
visiting vegemite valley
riding the chocolate weasel

...for masturbation:
spending some "me" time
polishing Darth Vader's helmet

... for vomiting:
technicolor yawn
driving the porcelain bus

C'mon peeps, post 'em if ya got 'em. Two of each kind, like with Noah.
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Just because I'm nominally polite, does not make me a pussy. Sundae Girl.
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Old 03-12-2009, 09:41 AM   #2
Undertoad
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....shitting:

dropping the kids off at the pool
taking the browns to the super bowl
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Old 03-12-2009, 09:51 AM   #3
Pie
Gone and done
 
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vomiting:
'flaming yawn' (filet Mignon?)
Talking to god on the white telephone

Btw, here's something I have been pondering: is there any word for bathroom/outhouse/restroom/powderroom/WC that isn't a euphemism? The only ones I could come up with were 'shitter' or 'excrematorium'. The latter of which isn't even a word.
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per·son \ˈpər-sən\ (noun) - an ephemeral collection of small, irrational decisions
The fun thing about evolution (and science in general) is that it happens whether you believe in it or not.
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Old 03-12-2009, 09:58 AM   #4
glatt
 
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...for masturbation:
killing a hobo

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Old 03-12-2009, 09:58 AM   #5
Shawnee123
Why, you're a regular Alfred E Einstein, ain't ya?
 
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Old 03-12-2009, 10:25 AM   #6
Trilby
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Pie - in Who's Afraid of Virginia Woolf? (by edward albee) George says to their dinner guests, "I'm going to the euphamism," meaning the loo.

So, you see, the bathroom can be referred to simply as the "euphamism" and you're being literary as you say it. Comes in handy when your dining with snobs.
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In Barrie's play and novel, the roles of fairies are brief: they are allies to the Lost Boys, the source of fairy dust and ...They are portrayed as dangerous, whimsical and extremely clever but quite hedonistic.

"Shall I give you a kiss?" Peter asked and, jerking an acorn button off his coat, solemnly presented it to her.
—James Barrie


Wimminfolk they be tricksy. - ZenGum
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Old 03-12-2009, 10:52 AM   #7
Flint
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Quote:
Originally Posted by ZenGum View Post
... for sex:
spending some quality time
making the beast with two backs
... for gay sex
making the beast with four balls

Quote:
Originally Posted by William Shakespeare » Othello » Act I. Scene I

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
SCENE I. Venice. A street.

...
...
...

IAGO
I am one, sir, that comes to tell you your daughter
and the Moor are now making the beast with two backs.
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There's a level of facility that everyone needs to accomplish, and from there
it's a matter of deciding for yourself how important ultra-facility is to your
expression. ... I found, like Joseph Campbell said, if you just follow whatever
gives you a little joy or excitement or awe, then you're on the right track.

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . Terry Bozzio
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Old 03-12-2009, 11:13 AM   #8
Trilby
Slattern of the Swail
 
Join Date: Jul 2004
Posts: 15,654
you know what's freaky?

they don't have "streets" in Venice.
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In Barrie's play and novel, the roles of fairies are brief: they are allies to the Lost Boys, the source of fairy dust and ...They are portrayed as dangerous, whimsical and extremely clever but quite hedonistic.

"Shall I give you a kiss?" Peter asked and, jerking an acorn button off his coat, solemnly presented it to her.
—James Barrie


Wimminfolk they be tricksy. - ZenGum
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Old 03-12-2009, 12:52 PM   #9
Sundae
polaroid of perfection
 
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Location: West Yorkshire
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For masturbation:
- Spending some time with Madam Palm and her five lovely daughters
- Washing your hand in sticky white love piss
- Giving a solo on the pink piccolo
- Charming the python until it spits
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Old 03-12-2009, 12:57 PM   #10
dar512
dar512 is now Pete Zicato
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Brianna View Post
Pie - in Who's Afraid of Virginia Woolf? (by edward albee) George says to their dinner guests, "I'm going to the euphamism," meaning the loo.

So, you see, the bathroom can be referred to simply as the "euphamism" and you're being literary as you say it. Comes in handy when your dining with snobs.
I love it. I'll be using it at the next opportunity.
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Old 03-12-2009, 01:01 PM   #11
dar512
dar512 is now Pete Zicato
 
Join Date: May 2003
Location: Chicago suburb
Posts: 4,968
For menstruation:

- A visit from Aunt Flo

- Trolling for Vampires
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"Against stupidity the gods themselves contend in vain."
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Old 03-12-2009, 01:13 PM   #12
DanaC
We have to go back, Kate!
 
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Additional menstruation euph: Fallen to the communists.
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Old 03-12-2009, 01:32 PM   #13
Undertoad
Radical Centrist
 
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male urination = shake hands with the unemployed
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Old 03-12-2009, 04:03 PM   #14
Mad Professor
Belt Conveyor
 
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Location: Blighty
Posts: 65
coitus interruptus - get off at Redfern

sex - giving the dog a bone (c.f. AC/DC song of same name)

masturbation - crack one off, strangle the serpent

covering a turd with bog paper - Turin Shroud

menstruation - on the blob
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Old 03-12-2009, 06:25 PM   #15
Aliantha
trying hard to be a better person
 
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Location: Brisbane, Australia
Posts: 16,493
menstruation: riding the crimson wave

vomiting: yelling for ralph

toilet (number 2): giving birth to a pom (sorry UK friends, but some people do still say it here)

when refering to someone's arsehole: the chocolate starfish

the progeny of gay males: poo babies
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