Thick as two short planks

monster · 01-04-2019, 05:25 PM

sayings for being a bit stupid..... go

(copy list and add....)

Thick as two short planks
Sandwich short of a picnic
Not the sharpest tool in the shed
Dumber than a box of rocks
Two bricks short of a full load

I'm deliberately not adding the one about the bus of diminutive stature because I despise that.

fargon · 01-04-2019, 06:45 PM

But I'm just that special.

Carruthers · 01-05-2019, 04:16 AM

Thick as two short planks
Sandwich short of a picnic
Not the sharpest tool in the shed
Dumber than a box of rocks
Two bricks short of a full load

and...

Tuppence short of a bob.
Not the full shilling.
Dim as a Toc H lamp.
Too daft to come in out of the rain.

monster · 01-05-2019, 11:48 AM

Thick as two short planks
Sandwich short of a picnic
Not the sharpest tool in the shed
Dumber than a box of rocks
Two bricks short of a full load
Tuppence short of a bob.
Not the full shilling.
Dim as a Toc H lamp.
Too daft to come in out of the rain.

------adding------
Not Firing on all cylinders
Lights are on but nobody's home

I read somewhere that there is a British/American difference in slang in that Brits have more euphemisms for bodily functions and activities than Americans, and American have more terms for killing and money. From what I've seen, I can believe this. I wonder if stupidity is also a more British thing to call by another name? The short bus was really the only one I've learned since I moved here I could think of :/ But I didn't grown up here and I would imagine one must learn many of these from one's parents and peers because they are social devices and not used in professional publications or speech. Or perhaps I just hang with the wrong people?

monster · 01-05-2019, 12:36 PM

Thick as two short planks
Sandwich short of a picnic
Not the sharpest tool in the shed
Dumber than a box of rocks
Two bricks short of a full load
Tuppence short of a bob.
Not the full shilling.
Dim as a Toc H lamp.
Too daft to come in out of the rain.
Not Firing on all cylinders
Lights are on but nobody's home

---adding---
Not playing with a full deck
Not the brightest bulb on the porch**

**I think this one is American, I came across it while googling for the origin of the previous one, but I think I have heard it used a few times since I've been here

and here's some more musing on the possibility of a Brit/Yank difference that I came up with whilst composing a Facebook post to ask for help from American Friends which I then used to bully myself out of for the sake of not causing possible offence....

There could be an element that referring to people's possibly less than optimal cognitive ability could be considered discriminatory, which is something society is more careful about now than it was when i lived in the UK, so people in both continents are less likely to use these terms now, and I'm less likely to have heard them in America as this is where I've been more recently.

Gravdigr · 01-05-2019, 01:12 PM

Thick as two short planks
Sandwich short of a picnic
Not the sharpest tool in the shed
Dumber than a box of rocks
Two bricks short of a full load
Tuppence short of a bob.
Not the full shilling.
Dim as a Toc H lamp.
Too daft to come in out of the rain.
Not Firing on all cylinders
Lights are on but nobody's home
Not playing with a full deck
Not the brightest bulb on the porch

Adding:

An ace shy of a straight
Elevator doesn't go all the way to the top
Thick as a brick
Dumber than a bag of of hammers
Duller than a bag of wet mice
His cheese done slid off his cracker
Ain't got the sense God gave a dill pickle (you can substitute 'goose' for 'dill pickle')
So dumb he don't know beans from taters

monster · 01-05-2019, 02:55 PM

it occurred to me not all of these are actually euphemisms e.g. "Dumber than a box of rocks") but they are still interesting, although I prefer the straight-up euphemisms. Carry on

lumberjim · 01-05-2019, 04:21 PM

sharp as a bowling ball

sexobon · 01-05-2019, 05:37 PM

From the military, any military:

A few rounds short of a full magazine.
Prone to malfunctions of the brain housing group.

monster · 01-05-2019, 07:52 PM

those have a lot of syllables!

when we move to making our own:
A syllable short of a military euphemism

Cellar-specific:
a dead hobo without a fish
a tw short of a politics forum
more lol than haggis

fargon · 01-06-2019, 08:28 AM

I don't know if this is the place for this,from my youth.

Clutch to Mouth Overrides Cable to Brain

Gravdigr · 01-06-2019, 01:55 PM

PEBKAC?

ID 10 T?

01-04-2019, 05:25 PM	#1
monster I hear them call the tide Join Date: Dec 2005 Location: Perpetual Chaos Posts: 30,852	Thick as two short planks sayings for being a bit stupid..... go (copy list and add....) Thick as two short planks Sandwich short of a picnic Not the sharpest tool in the shed Dumber than a box of rocks Two bricks short of a full load I'm deliberately not adding the one about the bus of diminutive stature because I despise that. __________________ The most difficult thing is the decision to act, the rest is merely tenacity Amelia Earhart

01-04-2019, 06:45 PM	#2
fargon Person who doesn't update the user title Join Date: Dec 2005 Location: La Crosse, WI Posts: 8,924	But I'm just that special. __________________ Annoy the ones that ignore you!!! I live a blessed life I Love my Country, I Fear the Government!!! Heavily medicated for the good of mankind.

01-05-2019, 04:16 AM	#3
Carruthers Junior Master Dwellar Join Date: Dec 2009 Location: Buckinghamshire UK Posts: 4,059	Thick as two short planks Sandwich short of a picnic Not the sharpest tool in the shed Dumber than a box of rocks Two bricks short of a full load and... Tuppence short of a bob. Not the full shilling. Dim as a Toc H lamp. Too daft to come in out of the rain. __________________ Last edited by Carruthers; 01-05-2019 at 04:26 AM.

01-05-2019, 11:48 AM	#4
monster I hear them call the tide Join Date: Dec 2005 Location: Perpetual Chaos Posts: 30,852	Thick as two short planks Sandwich short of a picnic Not the sharpest tool in the shed Dumber than a box of rocks Two bricks short of a full load Tuppence short of a bob. Not the full shilling. Dim as a Toc H lamp. Too daft to come in out of the rain. ------adding------ Not Firing on all cylinders Lights are on but nobody's home I read somewhere that there is a British/American difference in slang in that Brits have more euphemisms for bodily functions and activities than Americans, and American have more terms for killing and money. From what I've seen, I can believe this. I wonder if stupidity is also a more British thing to call by another name? The short bus was really the only one I've learned since I moved here I could think of :/ But I didn't grown up here and I would imagine one must learn many of these from one's parents and peers because they are social devices and not used in professional publications or speech. Or perhaps I just hang with the wrong people? __________________ The most difficult thing is the decision to act, the rest is merely tenacity Amelia Earhart

01-05-2019, 12:36 PM	#5
monster I hear them call the tide Join Date: Dec 2005 Location: Perpetual Chaos Posts: 30,852	Thick as two short planks Sandwich short of a picnic Not the sharpest tool in the shed Dumber than a box of rocks Two bricks short of a full load Tuppence short of a bob. Not the full shilling. Dim as a Toc H lamp. Too daft to come in out of the rain. Not Firing on all cylinders Lights are on but nobody's home ---adding--- Not playing with a full deck Not the brightest bulb on the porch I think this one is American, I came across it while googling for the origin of the previous one, but I think I have heard it used a few times since I've been here and here's some more musing on the possibility of a Brit/Yank difference that I came up with whilst composing a Facebook post to ask for help from American Friends which I then used to bully myself out of for the sake of not causing possible offence.... There could be an element that referring to people's possibly less than optimal cognitive ability could be considered discriminatory, which is something society is more careful about now than it was when i lived in the UK, so people in both continents are less likely to use these terms now, and I'm less likely to have heard them in America as this is where I've been more recently. __________________ The most difficult thing is the decision to act, the rest is merely tenacity Amelia Earhart

01-05-2019, 01:12 PM	#6
Gravdigr The Un-Tuckian Join Date: Apr 2007 Location: South Central...KY that is Posts: 39,517	Thick as two short planks Sandwich short of a picnic Not the sharpest tool in the shed Dumber than a box of rocks Two bricks short of a full load Tuppence short of a bob. Not the full shilling. Dim as a Toc H lamp. Too daft to come in out of the rain. Not Firing on all cylinders Lights are on but nobody's home Not playing with a full deck Not the brightest bulb on the porch Adding: An ace shy of a straight Elevator doesn't go all the way to the top Thick as a brick Dumber than a bag of of hammers Duller than a bag of wet mice His cheese done slid off his cracker Ain't got the sense God gave a dill pickle (you can substitute 'goose' for 'dill pickle') So dumb he don't know beans from taters __________________ These statements have not been evaluated by the FDA, EPA, FBI, DEA, CDC, or FDIC. These statements are not intended to diagnose, cause, treat, cure, or prevent any disease. If you feel you have been harmed/offended by, or, disagree with any of the above statements or images, please feel free to fuck right off.

01-05-2019, 02:55 PM	#7
monster I hear them call the tide Join Date: Dec 2005 Location: Perpetual Chaos Posts: 30,852	it occurred to me not all of these are actually euphemisms e.g. "Dumber than a box of rocks") but they are still interesting, although I prefer the straight-up euphemisms. Carry on __________________ The most difficult thing is the decision to act, the rest is merely tenacity Amelia Earhart

01-05-2019, 04:21 PM	#8
lumberjim I can hear my ears Join Date: Oct 2003 Posts: 25,571	sharp as a bowling ball __________________ This body holding me reminds me of my own mortality Embrace this moment, remember We are eternal, all this pain is an illusion ~MJKeenan

01-05-2019, 05:37 PM	#9
sexobon I love it when a plan comes together. Join Date: Oct 2009 Posts: 9,793	From the military, any military: A few rounds short of a full magazine. Prone to malfunctions of the brain housing group.

01-05-2019, 07:52 PM	#10
monster I hear them call the tide Join Date: Dec 2005 Location: Perpetual Chaos Posts: 30,852	those have a lot of syllables! when we move to making our own: A syllable short of a military euphemism Cellar-specific: a dead hobo without a fish a tw short of a politics forum more lol than haggis __________________ The most difficult thing is the decision to act, the rest is merely tenacity Amelia Earhart

01-06-2019, 08:28 AM	#11
fargon Person who doesn't update the user title Join Date: Dec 2005 Location: La Crosse, WI Posts: 8,924	I don't know if this is the place for this,from my youth. Clutch to Mouth Overrides Cable to Brain __________________ Annoy the ones that ignore you!!! I live a blessed life I Love my Country, I Fear the Government!!! Heavily medicated for the good of mankind.

01-06-2019, 01:55 PM	#12
Gravdigr The Un-Tuckian Join Date: Apr 2007 Location: South Central...KY that is Posts: 39,517	PEBKAC? ID 10 T? __________________ These statements have not been evaluated by the FDA, EPA, FBI, DEA, CDC, or FDIC. These statements are not intended to diagnose, cause, treat, cure, or prevent any disease. If you feel you have been harmed/offended by, or, disagree with any of the above statements or images, please feel free to fuck right off.

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