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#181 |
Guest
Posts: n/a
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Very nice, zippyt. I especially got a kick out of the first two.
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#182 |
The future is unwritten
Join Date: Oct 2002
Posts: 71,105
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Giggle, giggle.
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The descent of man ~ Nixon, Friedman, Reagan, Trump. Last edited by xoxoxoBruce; 04-07-2007 at 06:08 PM. |
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#183 |
The future is unwritten
Join Date: Oct 2002
Posts: 71,105
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Planned books cancelled on 9-12-01
“Giuliani: Why He Could Never Handle a Huge Crisis” “Our Fear-Free, Pampered, Celebrity-Obsessed, Self-Indulgent, Insular American World: Why It Will go on Like This Forever” “Carry On: It's Time To Stop All This Unnecessary Airport Security” “Religious Fundamentalism: The Last Best Hope to Bring Peace to the World” “Mommy, I Feel Too Safe: How to Raise Children in a Boring World” “Hosed: Are Firemen Really All That Brave, Or Is It Just a Bunch Of Hype?” “How to Find a Great Name for Your Speed-Metal Band, by Joey Belladonna of Anthrax” “‘Jihad’? Wasn't She On ‘Moesha’?: 100 Hilarious Jokes About Americans’ Ignorance of World Affairs and Other Cultures” “The Death of CNN: Why The All-News Format Failed” “Stem Cell Research: George W. Bush's defining moment” “How to Look Afghan” “Take a Powder!: The kid's guide to de-electronizing finely milled granular substances”
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The descent of man ~ Nixon, Friedman, Reagan, Trump. |
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#184 |
Guest
Posts: n/a
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Hehehehehe. Those are all pretty good.
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#185 | |
hot
Join Date: Mar 2002
Location: Jeffersonville, IN (near Louisville)
Posts: 892
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Quote:
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#186 |
Guest
Posts: n/a
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Yeh, like a month. Yeesh.
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#187 |
100:10100
Join Date: Nov 2003
Location: louisiana
Posts: 96
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what do a penguin and JFK jr have in common?
both cute as hell and neither of them can fly.
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...with all of our running and all of our cunning, if we couldn't laugh we would all go insane... |
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#188 |
I can hear my ears
Join Date: Oct 2003
Posts: 25,571
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Timmy and his grandfather went fishing one day.
about a half an hour in, grandpa takes out a beer and starts to drink it. "hey grandpa, can i have a sip of your beer?", timmy says. Grandpa says," well let me ask you a question: can you touch your asshole with the tip of your penis?" Timmy is appalled. " no! I'm only 10 yrs old!" grandpa says, " well until you can, no beer" about a half an hour later, grandpa lights a cigar. Same question by timmy, same answer. yet another half hour later TIMMY gets out a bag of oreos and stars to eat them. Grandpa says," hey timmy, let me have one of those cookies>" Timmy says," let me ask you a question: can you touch your asshle with the tip of your penis?" Grandpa gets a proud look on his face and says,"yes i can!" timmy: " Good. go fuck yourself, these are MY oreos!"
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This body holding me reminds me of my own mortality Embrace this moment, remember We are eternal, all this pain is an illusion ~MJKeenan Last edited by lumberjim; 11-15-2003 at 01:31 PM. |
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#189 |
100:10100
Join Date: Nov 2003
Location: louisiana
Posts: 96
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lol. consider that one stolen...but i won't take credit.
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...with all of our running and all of our cunning, if we couldn't laugh we would all go insane... |
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#190 |
-◊|≡·∙■·∙≡|◊-
Join Date: Feb 2003
Location: Parts unknown.
Posts: 4,081
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What'd the leper say to the prostitute?
"Keep the tip." nyuk, nyuk, nyuk
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♠ ♥ ♣ ♦ |
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#191 |
The future is unwritten
Join Date: Oct 2002
Posts: 71,105
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The Reverend Jesse Jackson was holding a press conference
in the appliance department of a Sears store in Chicago. He was there to protest the fact that all the washing machines were white. The clerk was upset because Jesse was getting louder and frightening customers away. So, he called the store manager who said: "What's the problem here Reverend?" Jesse continued to bemoan that all the washing machines were white. The manager remarked, "Well Reverend, while it's true that all the machines are white, if you open the lids you will see that all the agitators are black."
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The descent of man ~ Nixon, Friedman, Reagan, Trump. |
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#192 |
Q_Q
Join Date: Oct 2003
Location: somewhere in between
Posts: 995
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What's Michael Jackson's favorite college?
"Bring 'em" Young University hahahaha. |
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#193 |
trigonomic identity
Join Date: Nov 2003
Location: around town, baby
Posts: 46
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What's black and blue and hates sex?
the five year old in the trunk of my car. |
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#194 |
lobber of scimitars
Join Date: Jul 2001
Location: Phila Burbs
Posts: 20,774
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The Teacher, Ms. Pelzner, was very curious about how each of her
students celebrated Christmas. She called on young Patrick Murphy. "Tell me Patrick what do you do at Christmas time?" she asked. Patrick addressed the class, "Well Ms. Pelzner, me and my twelve brothers and sisters go to the midnight Mass and we sing hymns, then we come home very late and we put mince pies by the back door and hang up our stockings. Then all excited we go to bed and wait for Father Christmas to come with all our toys." "Very nice Patrick," she said. "Now Jimmy Brown what do you do at Christmas?" "Well, Ms. Pelzner, me and my sister also go to Church with Mum and Dad and we sing carols and we get home ever so late. We put cookies and milk by the chimney and we hang up our stockings. We hardly sleep, waiting for Santa Claus to bring our presents. " Realizing there was a Jewish boy in the class and not wanting to leave him out of the discussion, she asked, "Now, Isaac Cohen, what do you do at Christmas?" Isaac said, "Well, it's the same thing every year. Dad comes home from the office. We all pile into the Rolls Royce, then we drive to his toy factory. When we get inside, we look at all the empty shelves and begin to sing 'What a friend we have in Jesus.' Then we all go to the Bahamas."
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![]() ![]() "Conspiracies are the norm, not the exception." --G. Edward Griffin The Creature from Jekyll Island High Priestess of the Church of the Whale Penis |
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#195 |
When Do I Get Virtual Unreality?
Join Date: Dec 2002
Location: Raytown, Missouri
Posts: 12,719
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I am committing this one to memory, Wolf. Hysterical.
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"To those of you who are wearing ties, I think my dad would appreciate it if you took them off." - Robert Moog |
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