03-24-2009, 12:09 AM | #2596 |
I can hear my ears
Join Date: Oct 2003
Posts: 25,571
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probably bad timing.....but current events remind me of this one:
newspaper head line in Poland today: Plane Crashes in Graveyard: All 20 passengers and crew dead at scene. Rescue team recovers 115 bodies/
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This body holding me reminds me of my own mortality Embrace this moment, remember We are eternal, all this pain is an illusion ~MJKeenan |
03-24-2009, 11:09 AM | #2597 |
Master Dwellar
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And I've fucked 'em.
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Laugh and the world laughs with you; cry and the world laughs AT you. |
03-24-2009, 11:09 AM | #2598 |
Back in 10
Join Date: Aug 2008
Posts: 3,684
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Sex in the Dark
There was this couple that had been married for 20 years. Every time they made love the husband always insisted on shutting off the light. Well, after 20 years the wife felt this was ridiculous. She figured she would break him out of this crazy habit So one night, while they were in the middle of a wild, screaming, romantic session, she turned on the lights. She looked down.... and saw her husband was holding a battery-operated pleasure device... a vibrator! Soft, wonderful and larger than a real one. She went completely ballistic. 'You impotent bastard,' She screamed at him, 'How could you be lying to me all of these years? You better explain yourself!' The husband looks her straight in the eyes and says calmly: 'I'll explain the toy, you explain the kids.
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Speaking simply... do not confuse this with having a simple mind. |
03-24-2009, 11:17 AM | #2599 |
~~Life is either a daring adventure or nothing.~~
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03-24-2009, 08:37 PM | #2600 |
We have to go back, Kate!
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Location: Yorkshire
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lol lj.
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03-25-2009, 03:04 PM | #2601 |
™
Join Date: Jul 2003
Location: Arlington, VA
Posts: 27,717
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Question: What did the cowboy say to the car salesman?
Answer: "Audi." (I never said it was good.) |
03-25-2009, 03:18 PM | #2602 |
Why, you're a regular Alfred E Einstein, ain't ya?
Join Date: Jun 2006
Posts: 21,206
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I geegled.
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A word to the wise ain't necessary - it's the stupid ones who need the advice. --Bill Cosby |
03-25-2009, 03:26 PM | #2603 |
Master Dwellar
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Location: Los Angeles, CA
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I oughta kick you right in the volvo!!! lol!!!
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Laugh and the world laughs with you; cry and the world laughs AT you. |
03-26-2009, 01:34 AM | #2604 |
Larger than life and twice as ugly.
Join Date: Apr 2004
Posts: 5,264
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After that, he'll need to pop his clutch.
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We must all go through a rite of passage. It must be physical, it must be painful, and it must leave a mark. I have no knowledge of the events which you are describing, and if I did have knowledge of them, I would be unable to discuss them with you now or at any future period. Don't waste your time always searching for those wasted years |
03-26-2009, 09:20 AM | #2605 |
Gone and done
Join Date: Sep 2001
Posts: 4,808
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How could you a-Ford to make a pun that bad?
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per·son \ˈpər-sən\ (noun) - an ephemeral collection of small, irrational decisions The fun thing about evolution (and science in general) is that it happens whether you believe in it or not. |
03-26-2009, 09:53 AM | #2606 |
Master Dwellar
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It's my Civic duty.
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Laugh and the world laughs with you; cry and the world laughs AT you. |
03-26-2009, 10:16 AM | #2607 |
Why, you're a regular Alfred E Einstein, ain't ya?
Join Date: Jun 2006
Posts: 21,206
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Hemiphobe.
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A word to the wise ain't necessary - it's the stupid ones who need the advice. --Bill Cosby |
03-26-2009, 10:28 AM | #2608 |
Gone and done
Join Date: Sep 2001
Posts: 4,808
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One day a secretary is leaving on her lunch break, and she notices her boss standing in front of a shredder with a clueless look on his face. The secretary walks up to him and asks if he needs help.
"Yes!" he says looking and sounding relieved, "This is very important." Glad to help, she turns the shredder on and inserts the paper. Then her boss says, "Thanks, I'll need two copies."
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per·son \ˈpər-sən\ (noun) - an ephemeral collection of small, irrational decisions The fun thing about evolution (and science in general) is that it happens whether you believe in it or not. |
03-28-2009, 11:01 AM | #2609 |
“Hypocrisy: prejudice with a halo”
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Location: Savannah, Georgia
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I put this here as an amusement, I can't substantiate the stuff but it was interesting.
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Anyone but the this most fuked up President in History in 2012! |
03-28-2009, 01:55 PM | #2610 | ||
Your Bartender
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Quote:
Quote:
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humor |
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