What blindsided you today? - Page 2

glatt · 11-08-2012, 08:31 PM

What blindsided me? I just found out my cousin got arrested for stalking someone she had an affair with after he broke it off. WTF?! She was apparently pulling a pretty good Glenn Close with this guy and his family too. No boiled bunnies, but contact with the kids online.

I do know she lost her job as a result. I don't know if she's gonna serve time for it. I don't know if her marriage will survive this. It's not in her character at all. Completely blindsided me. WTF?!

I know people make mistakes, and love, hormones, and emotions can make you do crazy stuff. That's the only explanation I can come up with.

zippyt · 11-08-2012, 10:47 PM

That SUCKS Glatt !!!

orthodoc · 11-09-2012, 04:08 AM

There's the downside to the current ease of tracking/contact/communication via the 'net. Unsophisticated users (most people) don't realize their activity is an open book to investigators. So when hurt and hormones get intense enough to blind common sense it's easier than it used to be to cross boundaries and get into trouble.

Sounds like this is huge for her, her marriage, her family - real devastation. Not to mention his marriage and family. I'm sorry. Lots of picking up of pieces that will stretch well into the future. Sorry, Glatt.

Trilby · 11-09-2012, 08:02 AM

Yikes, sorry to hear this glatt.

sometimes people go a little insane, esp. when it comes to Very Good Sex and throw some Chemistry into the mix and you've got Glenn Close.

Hope she comes out of this better, wiser and NOT in jail. Jail does sucketh.

DanaC · 11-09-2012, 08:07 AM

Possibly worth a medical checkup as well. There are all manner of things that can cause sudden personality change/aberrant behaviour.

glatt · 11-09-2012, 08:15 AM

I've made a conscious decision to not judge her. I can't know what she was going through, but I can imagine how if you are sharing an intensely close relationship with someone for some time and then they cut that off, you are going to still feel entitled to some attention from them. People make mistakes. I hope she gets her act together and moves forward in a productive way.

weird thing is that this all happened a few months ago, but I had no idea it was going on because she's a few states away. My parents were in China for the last several weeks, and when they got back, they got the scoop and relayed it to me. It's weird because I've been interacting with this cousin on FB during this time, and she's been perfectly normal. She had a vague post the other day about appreciating friends and family during a difficult time, and that was apparently when she had some hearing. Shows how oblivious I was, I guess.

Trilby · 11-09-2012, 08:19 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by DanaC

Possibly worth a medical checkup as well. There are all manner of things that can cause sudden personality change/aberrant behaviour.

Good call.

Trilby · 11-09-2012, 08:20 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by glatt

... I can imagine how if you are sharing an intensely close relationship with someone for some time and then they cut that off, you are going to still feel entitled to some attention from them...

YES

orthodoc · 11-09-2012, 01:32 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by DanaC

Possibly worth a medical checkup as well. There are all manner of things that can cause sudden personality change/aberrant behaviour.

I'm with Dana and Trilby, if this was unprecedented out-of-the-blue behavior for her, it's worth a medical checkup. I know of one situation where a woman who suddenly began acting bizarrely in promiscuous terms had an organic reason found on workup. Not common, and certainly not wishing anything like that for your cousin, but worth a checkup if she's willing.

glatt · 11-09-2012, 01:52 PM

I'm not sure how I would bring up the subject. Maybe mentioning it to her mom would be best. Let the mom talk with her.

BigV · 11-09-2012, 02:43 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Trilby

Quote:

Originally Posted by glatt

... I can imagine how if you are sharing an intensely close relationship with someone for some time and then they cut that off, you are going to still feel entitled to some attention from them...

YES

When does "No mean No"?

Entitled? Entitled to one's feelings, sure, I agree. Entitled to some attention? Attention is given, not taken. It's mine to give or not and there's no entitlement involved.

glatt · 11-09-2012, 03:10 PM

I agree. I'm not excusing the behavior. Just trying to understand where it comes from.

I think it comes from having something, and then losing it, but still feeling like it should belong to you, even when it doesn't, and never really did. It's a faulty thought process, but I think that's the path it takes.

BigV · 11-09-2012, 08:10 PM

flat tire

ready go!

BigV · 11-09-2012, 08:21 PM

done

Trilby · 11-10-2012, 07:06 AM

Not 'entitled' but FEELING entitled.

bigga difference. Feelings aren't facts. Even tw knows that.

11-08-2012, 10:47 PM	#17
zippyt LONG LIVE KING ZIPPY! per Feetz Join Date: Mar 2003 Location: Arkansas Posts: 7,661	That SUCKS Glatt !!! __________________ "Success is getting what you want. Happiness is wanting what you get. " Brother Dave Gardner

11-09-2012, 04:08 AM	#18
orthodoc Not Suspicious, Merely Canadian Join Date: Oct 2006 Posts: 3,774	There's the downside to the current ease of tracking/contact/communication via the 'net. Unsophisticated users (most people) don't realize their activity is an open book to investigators. So when hurt and hormones get intense enough to blind common sense it's easier than it used to be to cross boundaries and get into trouble. Sounds like this is huge for her, her marriage, her family - real devastation. Not to mention his marriage and family. I'm sorry. Lots of picking up of pieces that will stretch well into the future. Sorry, Glatt. __________________ The greatness of a nation and its moral progress can be judged by the way its animals are treated. - Ghandi

11-09-2012, 08:02 AM	#19
Trilby Slattern of the Swail Join Date: Jul 2004 Posts: 15,654	Yikes, sorry to hear this glatt. sometimes people go a little insane, esp. when it comes to Very Good Sex and throw some Chemistry into the mix and you've got Glenn Close. Hope she comes out of this better, wiser and NOT in jail. Jail does sucketh. __________________ In Barrie's play and novel, the roles of fairies are brief: they are allies to the Lost Boys, the source of fairy dust and ...They are portrayed as dangerous, whimsical and extremely clever but quite hedonistic. "Shall I give you a kiss?" Peter asked and, jerking an acorn button off his coat, solemnly presented it to her. —James Barrie Wimminfolk they be tricksy. - ZenGum

11-09-2012, 08:10 PM	#28
BigV Goon Squad Leader Join Date: Nov 2004 Location: Seattle Posts: 27,063	flat tire ready go! __________________ Be Just and Fear Not.

11-09-2012, 08:21 PM	#29
BigV Goon Squad Leader Join Date: Nov 2004 Location: Seattle Posts: 27,063	done __________________ Be Just and Fear Not.

11-08-2012, 08:31 PM	#16
glatt ™ Join Date: Jul 2003 Location: Arlington, VA Posts: 27,717	What blindsided me? I just found out my cousin got arrested for stalking someone she had an affair with after he broke it off. WTF?! She was apparently pulling a pretty good Glenn Close with this guy and his family too. No boiled bunnies, but contact with the kids online. I do know she lost her job as a result. I don't know if she's gonna serve time for it. I don't know if her marriage will survive this. It's not in her character at all. Completely blindsided me. WTF?! I know people make mistakes, and love, hormones, and emotions can make you do crazy stuff. That's the only explanation I can come up with.

11-09-2012, 08:15 AM	#21
glatt ™ Join Date: Jul 2003 Location: Arlington, VA Posts: 27,717	I've made a conscious decision to not judge her. I can't know what she was going through, but I can imagine how if you are sharing an intensely close relationship with someone for some time and then they cut that off, you are going to still feel entitled to some attention from them. People make mistakes. I hope she gets her act together and moves forward in a productive way. weird thing is that this all happened a few months ago, but I had no idea it was going on because she's a few states away. My parents were in China for the last several weeks, and when they got back, they got the scoop and relayed it to me. It's weird because I've been interacting with this cousin on FB during this time, and she's been perfectly normal. She had a vague post the other day about appreciating friends and family during a difficult time, and that was apparently when she had some hearing. Shows how oblivious I was, I guess.

11-09-2012, 01:52 PM	#25
glatt ™ Join Date: Jul 2003 Location: Arlington, VA Posts: 27,717	I'm not sure how I would bring up the subject. Maybe mentioning it to her mom would be best. Let the mom talk with her.

11-09-2012, 03:10 PM	#27
glatt ™ Join Date: Jul 2003 Location: Arlington, VA Posts: 27,717	I agree. I'm not excusing the behavior. Just trying to understand where it comes from. I think it comes from having something, and then losing it, but still feeling like it should belong to you, even when it doesn't, and never really did. It's a faulty thought process, but I think that's the path it takes.

11-10-2012, 07:06 AM	#30
Trilby Slattern of the Swail Join Date: Jul 2004 Posts: 15,654	Not 'entitled' but FEELING entitled. bigga difference. Feelings aren't facts. Even tw knows that. __________________ In Barrie's play and novel, the roles of fairies are brief: they are allies to the Lost Boys, the source of fairy dust and ...They are portrayed as dangerous, whimsical and extremely clever but quite hedonistic. "Shall I give you a kiss?" Peter asked and, jerking an acorn button off his coat, solemnly presented it to her. —James Barrie Wimminfolk they be tricksy. - ZenGum

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