What's bumming your stone today?

[elSicomoro]

These eye drops are making my eyes crustier than the pink eye was.

[Chocolatl]

Had a disappointing first Mother's Day, yesterday, and to add insult to injury the baby decided to wake up every hour and a half, last night, so I've had about four hours of very broken sleep.

This sounds paltry written down, but I am seriously bummed today. My frown is so big the corners of my mouth are probably dragging on the floor.

[jimhelm]

Hug

[fargon]

[chrisinhouston]

I think I have diagnosed the most recent problem with my Land Rover. The M and S lights sometimes come on flashing on the dashboard and the car goes into limp mode (like 4th gear). It happens after I start it and try to back out of the driveway or sometimes leaving a parking space at a shop. Usually I turn off the engine and restart it and it may or may not happen again. It seems to be worse since I began using my AC again and that usually means that the AC drain line is leaking into the Neutral Safety switch on the side of my transmission. The switch is $700 from Land Rover and about $450 from some internet shops. I found a used one on eBay for $140 that comes with a 60 day gaurantee so I bought it. Sometimes the issue is caused by a bad battery or alternator or connection but I had mine tested and it's all fine so on a hunch I will try to replace the switch.

[glatt]

Good luck! I hope that's the problem.

[BigV]

the ECM, electronic control module, is the weak link in Rover's chain, in my experience. all the bad idioms you can think of, they apply to the ECM. all eggs in one basket, single point of failure, Achilles's heel, etc. our windows would work intermittently, independently, also various lights on the dash, including the antilock brake (ABS) light, it was crazy town. The module was expensive and I didn't investigate installing it myself. What a hassle. it's left a bad taste in my mouth for Rover. The older ones still look attractive and maybe the newest ones too, but the 90's -00's .. blech.

[orthodoc]

Celebrating by myself.

[Griff]

Bummage Ortho.

[Sundae]

Knew Mum was going to blow soon. She was too faux-cheerful.
I think I overheard a minor scrap as to whether I had been into her sherry, which was left on the side in the kitchen. I hadn't actualy, had no desire to (thanks Baclofen) but no point getting into it myself. She'd just bring up all the times I'd stolen drink from them. True, I'd drink anything not nailed down, but I didn't need that right then.

Then she really blew during dinner.
Seems like it was Dad she was mad at not me, so maybe I was wrong about what I think I overheard. Anyway she called up to say I could put anything I wanted on the shopping list for tomorrow. It'll only be veg and a cheap bottle of wine to complete the braised pigs' cheeks I'm doing, but she spoke to me civilly.

But she was really shouting at Dad a bit later.
Using that stupid voice I hate where she shouts and over-enunciates which makes it even harder to understand.
And she was banging around so much after I swore she would break something, or Dad would out, of sheer terror. Every cupboard door slammed, every drawer, every piece of cutlery and crockery slammed home.

No doubt she'll want to be on here soon.
Emailing her friends about how Peter is driving her mad (I'll bet he chose dementia/ Parkinsons/ deafness just to spite her) and how I'm no help, no help at all. Despite offering to prepare the veg for her while I was eating my own dinner and I already felt her simmering and slamming things around.

She terrifies my sometimes with her suppressed anger.
Makes me feel like I hate her other times.
I've said before, I have her terrible temper. I'm scared one day we'll get into one. I have gone too far and upset her, although it's always me who backs down. But my dreams are full of hitting her or going on a full-on verbal attack and realising we can never come back from that.

I love her, she's my Mum.
I was the only one who felt things were so bad it was necessary to move away to escape.
But I was the only one who needed the sanctity of coming home. And she took me in, unwillingly, but I'm here.
And on nights like tonight, when my guts are twisted up and I want to scream and trash my room like a spoilt teen, I feel like this is not sanctuary.
Tomorrow morning when I switch on the light and there is power and I am close enough to work to walk there, and I pee in a spotless toilet, then I will feel safe and warm again. Then I will remember this is home and I don't have to take the long way home because I'm scared of walking through the door. Because despite everything that has only happened rarely here.

[glatt]

I'm sorry Sundae. You have to deal with a lot.

[Sundae]

Meh - she has to deal with a lot.
Dad and me.
She just wants a "normal" life and to enjoy her retirement. But Grandad's illness, then Dad's, then Abigail's prgnancy and my official diagnosis have scuppered that.

Can you tell I'm already feeling bad for letting it all out?

[orthodoc]

I'm sorry, Sundae. It's horrible to live in that atmosphere, even if your mother is frustrated with your father's illness. I can't raise much sympathy for those who get angry about someone else's illness or disability. My mother used to rage and go on about how my father's deafness frustrated her and how hard it was for her. She treated him like he was an idiot. (They are no longer married.)

Most people don't get to have a 'normal' life, whatever that is.

[Sundae]

Aliantha's met Mum.
She knows she's not as black as I paint her, I'm sure.
You know when you just have those times when things boil over.

I can hear/ not hear from upstairs that they have not said a word to eachother since dinner.

That will change at bedtime. On a bad night the shouting starts again then.
I'll be sleeping safe in the arms of Prince Baclofen by then. Only staying up to see if I get more than 99p for something I'm selling on eBay...

[Pico and ME]

I wish your mum could find some peace, Sundae. Its such a shame that she allows herself to gets so twisted with her anger. She must feel so trapped. I understand the trap you are in, too.