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#301 | |
trying hard to be a better person
Join Date: Jan 2006
Location: Brisbane, Australia
Posts: 16,493
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Quote:
My plan is to make him fish out some toy cars which max has kindly dropped down into one of the drains that leads to the septic, causing the shower and bath water to back up. That should be stinky and disgusting enough to help him remember to do the first job properly in the future. ![]()
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Kind words are the music of the world. F. W. Faber |
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#302 |
a beautiful fool
Join Date: Sep 2010
Location: 39.939705
Posts: 4,504
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let me just tell you about my day....
starting off, i went in to work at 9 am, thinking I was off at 1pm, planning to get my shit together in the afternoon for my trip to Charlotte NC (driving). when i got there i realized i was supposed to be 1-6 pm. fuck! not really convenient to go back home and return, so i just stayed and worked...plenty to do anyway.
then, at 6, fucking Ron sells a goddamn car and keeps me there until 7:45. dick. so, I finally get out,.... forget my bag, and have to go back for it... stop at the beer store and get myself an Anchor Brewing Single malt one hop Ale. As I am admiring it in the car.. in the 101% humidity, it slips from my grasp, and lands squarely on the console, and erupts like a fucking volcano. ....cup holders filled, phone soaked. Now my goddamned motherfucking sonofabitch phone is inoperable. ...and I'm covered in beer. motherfucker, So, I'm trying to get the phone to work, and driving home, and decide that I'd better stop at the King of Prussia Mall and see if they can help me, or sell me a piece of shit phone cheap so I have something for the ride down to Charlotte..... it's 8:47pm as I pull into my parking spot. For some reason, I am inspired to remove the micro SD card as I am getting out of my jeep.... and, naturally, it springs out of it's slot into the darkness. What The Fuck So I get in the Jeep, back it into the isle, and shine the headlights on the spot where I think it might have gone. (fuck you all, passersby, eat a dick) ....miraculously, after 5 minutes on my fucking knees, I find the cockforsaken thing, holy shit, that's incredible.... So, into the mall I go, sweating like a whore in church..... it's 8:57...Mall closes at 9. Where the fuck is the fucking Sprint Store!?!?!? oh, it's a hectare away, hidden in an entrance.... you'll never get there in time, dickhole... and I don't so, I stop at Blue Pacific and have a beer....why not, I smell like one anyway... and a Spider Roll (fucking highlight of my day right here) And I drive the fuck home. drop the phone and battery in a bag of dry rice, say a prayer, and go up to Elverson to get the fucking Commander out of the shop. ( the guy locked it outside the fence so I could pick it up after hours) ....Now.... when he called to tell me it was done, he mentioned that the battery 'seemed a little weak' It's about 5 years old now, and due... but I had not noticed any slow crank, or weakness of the battery, so I told him, that I'd handle that on my own. I don't think I have to tell you what happens next. So, off to Walmart to get the new battery at 11:30pm. The instal goes surprisingly smoothly, and only takes 15 minutes... (at this point, I'll just assume that the battery will explode some time tomorrow and kill me and those around me.....)... now drive the Green Jeep back to the house and walk the 2 miles to the dealer up and down hills to get the Commander. Return the old battery for credit, and drive back home... it's 1:50 A fucking M. suck it, Murphy
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There's a Shadow just behind me. Shrouding every step I take. Making every promise empty, pointing every finger at me. _tool |
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#303 |
a beautiful fool
Join Date: Sep 2010
Location: 39.939705
Posts: 4,504
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Oh, and the lights had been left on in the commander.... Hence the dead battery. Pricks.
But, on the upside, the transmission issue seems to be fixed... And with only 48 miles left of the extended warranty I bought. Thank you Jesus.
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There's a Shadow just behind me. Shrouding every step I take. Making every promise empty, pointing every finger at me. _tool |
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#304 |
trying hard to be a better person
Join Date: Jan 2006
Location: Brisbane, Australia
Posts: 16,493
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I started laughing at about the third paragraph of post 302. Sorry. lol (still laughing)
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Kind words are the music of the world. F. W. Faber |
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#305 |
UNDER CONDITIONAL MITIGATION
Join Date: Mar 2004
Location: Austin, TX
Posts: 20,012
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OMG, Jim. I'm sorry. The universe owes you something seriously good after this.
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#306 |
To shreds, you say?
Join Date: Aug 2004
Location: in the house and on the street-how many, many feet we meet!
Posts: 18,449
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Jim, you are a tenacious motherfcker. I would have packed it in a lot sooner than you did, I think.
A man on a mission. Yeah, the universe owes you a lap dance or something.
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The internet is a hateful stew of vomit you can never take completely seriously. - Her Fobs |
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#307 |
a beautiful fool
Join Date: Sep 2010
Location: 39.939705
Posts: 4,504
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I'd settle for a steak and a bj.
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There's a Shadow just behind me. Shrouding every step I take. Making every promise empty, pointing every finger at me. _tool |
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#308 |
I hear them call the tide
Join Date: Dec 2005
Location: Perpetual Chaos
Posts: 30,852
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How is today panning out?
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The most difficult thing is the decision to act, the rest is merely tenacity Amelia Earhart |
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#309 |
LONG LIVE KING ZIPPY! per Feetz
Join Date: Mar 2003
Location: Arkansas
Posts: 7,661
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Oh Dude !!!!
Thats EPPPPIC ! You survived ! And got the car home Thats what counts Get a Jump pac , they work , so I Hear
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"Success is getting what you want. Happiness is wanting what you get. " Brother Dave Gardner |
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#310 |
still says videotape
Join Date: Feb 2001
Posts: 26,813
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Wait, Murphy gets the blame and Jesus gets the credit, that doesn't seem to be an air-tight belief system.
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If you would only recognize that life is hard, things would be so much easier for you. - Louis D. Brandeis |
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#311 |
a beautiful fool
Join Date: Sep 2010
Location: 39.939705
Posts: 4,504
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Much more better..... er. Uneventful if long ride to Charlotte. Got a new phone and 10% off my monthly Sprint bill just for belonging to a credit union.
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There's a Shadow just behind me. Shrouding every step I take. Making every promise empty, pointing every finger at me. _tool |
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#312 |
polaroid of perfection
Join Date: Sep 2005
Location: West Yorkshire
Posts: 24,185
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I can't believe you didn't get FSM's message that you were not supposed to be in Charlotte this weekend! (and that's what her husband said too)
Still, I prefer to accept that you overcame all these obstacles like a hero on a quest, and are now where you are supposed to be for the good of the universe.
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Life's hard you know, so strike a pose on a Cadillac |
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#313 |
Person who doesn't update the user title
Join Date: Mar 2011
Posts: 13,002
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You ARE a tenacious motherfucker. Right around paragraph 3 I would have crumbled into a thousand pieces, said 'fuck it' and headed home.
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#314 |
a beautiful fool
Join Date: Sep 2010
Location: 39.939705
Posts: 4,504
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On reflection, I'm just really happy that I thought to stop at the dealer to check the commander while I was still driving the grand Cherokee. Had I just driven the gr Cher to my house and walked out to get the commander, I would have walked twice. ...no, three times. Whew.
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There's a Shadow just behind me. Shrouding every step I take. Making every promise empty, pointing every finger at me. _tool |
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#315 |
™
Join Date: Jul 2003
Location: Arlington, VA
Posts: 27,717
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That's a lot of walking at the end of the day. Even just the once. I'm pretty impressed. "Just do it" can learn a thing or two from you.
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