What is pissing you off this time? - Page 21

Aliantha · 09-09-2011, 06:47 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by footfootfoot

You could also clean all that crap out and stick it in his bed, let him find out about it when he goes to bed. At least that's what I'd feel like doing.

Quote:

Originally Posted by zippyt

I like Foots Idea BUT ,
2 words
Christmas Present

Both great ideas, but ones I'd ultimately have to deal with long term fall out over.

My plan is to make him fish out some toy cars which max has kindly dropped down into one of the drains that leads to the septic, causing the shower and bath water to back up.

That should be stinky and disgusting enough to help him remember to do the first job properly in the future.

jimhelm · 09-10-2011, 02:33 AM

starting off, i went in to work at 9 am, thinking I was off at 1pm, planning to get my shit together in the afternoon for my trip to Charlotte NC (driving). when i got there i realized i was supposed to be 1-6 pm. fuck! not really convenient to go back home and return, so i just stayed and worked...plenty to do anyway.

then, at 6, fucking Ron sells a goddamn car and keeps me there until 7:45. dick.

so, I finally get out,.... forget my bag, and have to go back for it... stop at the beer store and get myself an Anchor Brewing Single malt one hop Ale. As I am admiring it in the car.. in the 101% humidity, it slips from my grasp, and lands squarely on the console, and erupts like a fucking volcano. ....cup holders filled, phone soaked. Now my goddamned motherfucking sonofabitch phone is inoperable. ...and I'm covered in beer.

motherfucker,

So, I'm trying to get the phone to work, and driving home, and decide that I'd better stop at the King of Prussia Mall and see if they can help me, or sell me a piece of shit phone cheap so I have something for the ride down to Charlotte..... it's 8:47pm as I pull into my parking spot. For some reason, I am inspired to remove the micro SD card as I am getting out of my jeep.... and, naturally, it springs out of it's slot into the darkness.

What
The
Fuck

So I get in the Jeep, back it into the isle, and shine the headlights on the spot where I think it might have gone. (fuck you all, passersby, eat a dick) ....miraculously, after 5 minutes on my fucking knees, I find the cockforsaken thing, holy shit, that's incredible....

So, into the mall I go, sweating like a whore in church..... it's 8:57...Mall closes at 9. Where the fuck is the fucking Sprint Store!?!?!?

oh, it's a hectare away, hidden in an entrance.... you'll never get there in time, dickhole...

and I don't

so, I stop at Blue Pacific and have a beer....why not, I smell like one anyway... and a Spider Roll (fucking highlight of my day right here)

And I drive the fuck home.

drop the phone and battery in a bag of dry rice, say a prayer, and go up to Elverson to get the fucking Commander out of the shop. ( the guy locked it outside the fence so I could pick it up after hours)

....Now.... when he called to tell me it was done, he mentioned that the battery 'seemed a little weak' It's about 5 years old now, and due... but I had not noticed any slow crank, or weakness of the battery, so I told him, that I'd handle that on my own. I don't think I have to tell you what happens next.

So, off to Walmart to get the new battery at 11:30pm. The instal goes surprisingly smoothly, and only takes 15 minutes... (at this point, I'll just assume that the battery will explode some time tomorrow and kill me and those around me.....)... now drive the Green Jeep back to the house and walk the 2 miles to the dealer up and down hills to get the Commander. Return the old battery for credit, and drive back home... it's 1:50 A fucking M.

suck it, Murphy

jimhelm · 09-10-2011, 02:57 AM

Oh, and the lights had been left on in the commander.... Hence the dead battery. Pricks.

But, on the upside, the transmission issue seems to be fixed... And with only 48 miles left of the extended warranty I bought. Thank you Jesus.

Aliantha · 09-10-2011, 05:03 AM

I started laughing at about the third paragraph of post 302. Sorry. lol (still laughing)

Clodfobble · 09-10-2011, 08:38 AM

OMG, Jim. I'm sorry. The universe owes you something seriously good after this.

footfootfoot · 09-10-2011, 09:24 AM

Jim, you are a tenacious motherfcker. I would have packed it in a lot sooner than you did, I think.
A man on a mission. Yeah, the universe owes you a lap dance or something.

jimhelm · 09-10-2011, 12:57 PM

I'd settle for a steak and a bj.

monster · 09-10-2011, 02:42 PM

How is today panning out?

zippyt · 09-10-2011, 11:33 PM

Oh Dude !!!!
Thats EPPPPIC !
You survived ! And got the car home
Thats what counts
Get a Jump pac , they work , so I Hear

Griff · 09-11-2011, 07:43 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by jimhelm

Oh, and the lights had been left on in the commander.... Hence the dead battery. Pricks.

But, on the upside, the transmission issue seems to be fixed... And with only 48 miles left of the extended warranty I bought. Thank you Jesus.

Wait, Murphy gets the blame and Jesus gets the credit, that doesn't seem to be an air-tight belief system.

jimhelm · 09-11-2011, 10:24 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by monster

How is today panning out?

Much more better..... er. Uneventful if long ride to Charlotte. Got a new phone and 10% off my monthly Sprint bill just for belonging to a credit union.

Sundae · 09-11-2011, 12:50 PM

I can't believe you didn't get FSM's message that you were not supposed to be in Charlotte this weekend! (and that's what her husband said too)

Still, I prefer to accept that you overcame all these obstacles like a hero on a quest, and are now where you are supposed to be for the good of the universe.

infinite monkey · 09-12-2011, 11:03 AM

You ARE a tenacious motherfucker. Right around paragraph 3 I would have crumbled into a thousand pieces, said 'fuck it' and headed home.

jimhelm · 09-12-2011, 12:05 PM

On reflection, I'm just really happy that I thought to stop at the dealer to check the commander while I was still driving the grand Cherokee. Had I just driven the gr Cher to my house and walked out to get the commander, I would have walked twice. ...no, three times. Whew.

glatt · 09-12-2011, 12:51 PM

That's a lot of walking at the end of the day. Even just the once. I'm pretty impressed. "Just do it" can learn a thing or two from you.

09-10-2011, 02:33 AM	#302
jimhelm a beautiful fool Join Date: Sep 2010 Location: 39.939705 Posts: 4,504	let me just tell you about my day.... starting off, i went in to work at 9 am, thinking I was off at 1pm, planning to get my shit together in the afternoon for my trip to Charlotte NC (driving). when i got there i realized i was supposed to be 1-6 pm. fuck! not really convenient to go back home and return, so i just stayed and worked...plenty to do anyway. then, at 6, fucking Ron sells a goddamn car and keeps me there until 7:45. dick. so, I finally get out,.... forget my bag, and have to go back for it... stop at the beer store and get myself an Anchor Brewing Single malt one hop Ale. As I am admiring it in the car.. in the 101% humidity, it slips from my grasp, and lands squarely on the console, and erupts like a fucking volcano. ....cup holders filled, phone soaked. Now my goddamned motherfucking sonofabitch phone is inoperable. ...and I'm covered in beer. motherfucker, So, I'm trying to get the phone to work, and driving home, and decide that I'd better stop at the King of Prussia Mall and see if they can help me, or sell me a piece of shit phone cheap so I have something for the ride down to Charlotte..... it's 8:47pm as I pull into my parking spot. For some reason, I am inspired to remove the micro SD card as I am getting out of my jeep.... and, naturally, it springs out of it's slot into the darkness. What The Fuck So I get in the Jeep, back it into the isle, and shine the headlights on the spot where I think it might have gone. (fuck you all, passersby, eat a dick) ....miraculously, after 5 minutes on my fucking knees, I find the cockforsaken thing, holy shit, that's incredible.... So, into the mall I go, sweating like a whore in church..... it's 8:57...Mall closes at 9. Where the fuck is the fucking Sprint Store!?!?!? oh, it's a hectare away, hidden in an entrance.... you'll never get there in time, dickhole... and I don't so, I stop at Blue Pacific and have a beer....why not, I smell like one anyway... and a Spider Roll (fucking highlight of my day right here) And I drive the fuck home. drop the phone and battery in a bag of dry rice, say a prayer, and go up to Elverson to get the fucking Commander out of the shop. ( the guy locked it outside the fence so I could pick it up after hours) ....Now.... when he called to tell me it was done, he mentioned that the battery 'seemed a little weak' It's about 5 years old now, and due... but I had not noticed any slow crank, or weakness of the battery, so I told him, that I'd handle that on my own. I don't think I have to tell you what happens next. So, off to Walmart to get the new battery at 11:30pm. The instal goes surprisingly smoothly, and only takes 15 minutes... (at this point, I'll just assume that the battery will explode some time tomorrow and kill me and those around me.....)... now drive the Green Jeep back to the house and walk the 2 miles to the dealer up and down hills to get the Commander. Return the old battery for credit, and drive back home... it's 1:50 A fucking M. suck it, Murphy __________________ There's a Shadow just behind me. Shrouding every step I take. Making every promise empty, pointing every finger at me. _tool

09-10-2011, 02:57 AM	#303
jimhelm a beautiful fool Join Date: Sep 2010 Location: 39.939705 Posts: 4,504	Oh, and the lights had been left on in the commander.... Hence the dead battery. Pricks. But, on the upside, the transmission issue seems to be fixed... And with only 48 miles left of the extended warranty I bought. Thank you Jesus. __________________ There's a Shadow just behind me. Shrouding every step I take. Making every promise empty, pointing every finger at me. _tool

09-10-2011, 05:03 AM	#304
Aliantha trying hard to be a better person Join Date: Jan 2006 Location: Brisbane, Australia Posts: 16,493	I started laughing at about the third paragraph of post 302. Sorry. lol (still laughing) __________________ Kind words are the music of the world. F. W. Faber

09-10-2011, 08:38 AM	#305
Clodfobble UNDER CONDITIONAL MITIGATION Join Date: Mar 2004 Location: Austin, TX Posts: 20,012	OMG, Jim. I'm sorry. The universe owes you something seriously good after this. __________________ My book My other book My spirit animal

09-10-2011, 09:24 AM	#306
footfootfoot To shreds, you say? Join Date: Aug 2004 Location: in the house and on the street-how many, many feet we meet! Posts: 18,449	Jim, you are a tenacious motherfcker. I would have packed it in a lot sooner than you did, I think. A man on a mission. Yeah, the universe owes you a lap dance or something. __________________ The internet is a hateful stew of vomit you can never take completely seriously. - Her Fobs

09-10-2011, 12:57 PM	#307
jimhelm a beautiful fool Join Date: Sep 2010 Location: 39.939705 Posts: 4,504	I'd settle for a steak and a bj. __________________ There's a Shadow just behind me. Shrouding every step I take. Making every promise empty, pointing every finger at me. _tool

09-10-2011, 02:42 PM	#308
monster I hear them call the tide Join Date: Dec 2005 Location: Perpetual Chaos Posts: 30,852	How is today panning out? __________________ The most difficult thing is the decision to act, the rest is merely tenacity Amelia Earhart

09-10-2011, 11:33 PM	#309
zippyt LONG LIVE KING ZIPPY! per Feetz Join Date: Mar 2003 Location: Arkansas Posts: 7,661	Oh Dude !!!! Thats EPPPPIC ! You survived ! And got the car home Thats what counts Get a Jump pac , they work , so I Hear __________________ "Success is getting what you want. Happiness is wanting what you get. " Brother Dave Gardner

09-11-2011, 12:50 PM	#312
Sundae polaroid of perfection Join Date: Sep 2005 Location: West Yorkshire Posts: 24,185	I can't believe you didn't get FSM's message that you were not supposed to be in Charlotte this weekend! (and that's what her husband said too) Still, I prefer to accept that you overcame all these obstacles like a hero on a quest, and are now where you are supposed to be for the good of the universe. __________________ Life's hard you know, so strike a pose on a Cadillac

09-12-2011, 11:03 AM	#313
infinite monkey Person who doesn't update the user title Join Date: Mar 2011 Posts: 13,002	You ARE a tenacious motherfucker. Right around paragraph 3 I would have crumbled into a thousand pieces, said 'fuck it' and headed home.

09-12-2011, 12:05 PM	#314
jimhelm a beautiful fool Join Date: Sep 2010 Location: 39.939705 Posts: 4,504	On reflection, I'm just really happy that I thought to stop at the dealer to check the commander while I was still driving the grand Cherokee. Had I just driven the gr Cher to my house and walked out to get the commander, I would have walked twice. ...no, three times. Whew. __________________ There's a Shadow just behind me. Shrouding every step I take. Making every promise empty, pointing every finger at me. _tool

09-12-2011, 12:51 PM	#315
glatt ™ Join Date: Jul 2003 Location: Arlington, VA Posts: 27,717	That's a lot of walking at the end of the day. Even just the once. I'm pretty impressed. "Just do it" can learn a thing or two from you.

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