The Cellar  

Go Back   The Cellar > Main > Home Base
FAQ Community Calendar Today's Posts Search

Home Base A starting point, and place for threads don't seem to belong anywhere else

Reply
 
Thread Tools Display Modes
Old 05-10-2010, 12:41 PM   #3451
glatt
 
Join Date: Jul 2003
Location: Arlington, VA
Posts: 27,717
Those taglines are dumb, but they're a verbalisation of the old vaudeville / musichall tradition of the percussionist making a drumroll+rimshot after the comic cracks a joke (and therefore a cue, for the audience, to laugh).

People like to be told when to laugh.
glatt is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 05-10-2010, 12:47 PM   #3452
monster
I hear them call the tide
 
Join Date: Dec 2005
Location: Perpetual Chaos
Posts: 30,852
Not everybody.

Shawnee -that extra line has been added by someone other than the original author, therefore SN's post was not complete until fixed by me....
__________________
The most difficult thing is the decision to act, the rest is merely tenacity Amelia Earhart
monster is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 05-10-2010, 12:50 PM   #3453
Shawnee123
Why, you're a regular Alfred E Einstein, ain't ya?
 
Join Date: Jun 2006
Posts: 21,206
Ahhh, yeah...that makes sense.

Not only do I not want to be told when to laugh, apparently I'm completely oblivious to the cues. No wonder I get funny looks at funerals and murder trials.
__________________
A word to the wise ain't necessary - it's the stupid ones who need the advice.
--Bill Cosby
Shawnee123 is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 05-10-2010, 01:04 PM   #3454
monster
I hear them call the tide
 
Join Date: Dec 2005
Location: Perpetual Chaos
Posts: 30,852
am i supposed to laugh now?
__________________
The most difficult thing is the decision to act, the rest is merely tenacity Amelia Earhart
monster is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 05-10-2010, 01:14 PM   #3455
Shawnee123
Why, you're a regular Alfred E Einstein, ain't ya?
 
Join Date: Jun 2006
Posts: 21,206
Quote:
Originally Posted by Shawnee123 View Post
Ahhh, yeah...that makes sense.

Not only do I not want to be told when to laugh, apparently I'm completely oblivious to the cues. No wonder I get funny looks at funerals and murder trials.
Quote:
Originally Posted by monster View Post
am i supposed to laugh now?
Hang on a second:

Ahhh, yeah...that makes sense.

Not only do I not want to be told when to laugh, apparently I'm completely oblivious to the cues. No wonder I get funny looks at funerals and murder trials.


The funeral-goers and victim's families were not amused.

Better?
__________________
A word to the wise ain't necessary - it's the stupid ones who need the advice.
--Bill Cosby

Last edited by Shawnee123; 05-10-2010 at 02:43 PM. Reason: spell-challenged
Shawnee123 is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 05-10-2010, 02:20 PM   #3456
squirell nutkin
has a second hand user title
 
Join Date: Feb 2006
Location: in a Nut House
Posts: 2,017
Now I get it.
He said, getting it.

And then I laughed.
__________________
And now I'm finished posting.
squirell nutkin is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 05-10-2010, 02:43 PM   #3457
Shawnee123
Why, you're a regular Alfred E Einstein, ain't ya?
 
Join Date: Jun 2006
Posts: 21,206


And then the laughing smilie let us know, one and all, that it's OK to laugh. Laugh my children, laugh!
__________________
A word to the wise ain't necessary - it's the stupid ones who need the advice.
--Bill Cosby
Shawnee123 is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 05-10-2010, 10:15 PM   #3458
monster
I hear them call the tide
 
Join Date: Dec 2005
Location: Perpetual Chaos
Posts: 30,852
bwahahahahahahahaha *snort* ...wait, what was the joke again?
__________________
The most difficult thing is the decision to act, the rest is merely tenacity Amelia Earhart
monster is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 05-10-2010, 10:20 PM   #3459
toranokaze
I'm still a jerk
 
Join Date: Oct 2007
Location: Little Mexico
Posts: 1,817

I'm not sure but it was funny
__________________
"Without deviation from the norm progress is not possible." - Frank Zappa

It is the ignorance of ignorance that lead to the death of knowledge

The Virgin Mary does not weep for her son, for he is in paradise. She weeps for the world , for we are in suffering.
toranokaze is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 05-11-2010, 11:22 AM   #3460
Nirvana
Back in 10
 
Join Date: Aug 2008
Posts: 3,684
THE BEST DRUNK STORY OF THE MONTH




A drunken man walks into a biker bar, sits down at the bar and orders a drink. Looking around, he sees three men sitting at a corner table. He gets up, staggers to the table, leans over,looks the biggest, meanest, biker in the face and says:




'I went by your grandma's house today and






I saw her in the hallway buck-naked.








Man, she is one fine looking woman!'








The biker looks at him and doesn't say a word.








His buddies are confused, because he is one bad biker and would fight at the drop of a hat.


The drunk leans on the table again and says:






'I got it on with your grandma and she is good,






the best I ever had!'




The biker's buddies are starting to get really mad






but the biker still says nothing.




The drunk leans on the table one more time and says,




'I'll tell you something else, boy,


your grandma liked it!'



At this point the biker stands up,




takes the drunk by the shoulders




looks him square in the eyes and says....................





'Grandpa;.......... Go home!
__________________
Speaking simply... do not confuse this with having a simple mind.
Nirvana is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 05-11-2010, 12:35 PM   #3461
Sundae
polaroid of perfection
 
Join Date: Sep 2005
Location: West Yorkshire
Posts: 24,185
You forgot the puchline: Grandpa looked chagrined and did so.
Sundae is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 05-11-2010, 01:27 PM   #3462
Spexxvet
Makes some feel uncomfortable
 
Join Date: Dec 2005
Posts: 10,346
1. The roundest knight at King Arthur's round table was Sir Cumference.
He acquired his size from too much pi.

2. I thought I saw an eye doctor on an Alaskan island, but it turned
out to be an optical Aleutian .

3. She was only a whiskey maker, but he loved her still.

4. A rubber band pistol was confiscated from algebra class, because it
was a weapon of math disruption.

5. No matter how much you push the envelope, it'll still be stationery.

6. A dog gave birth to puppies near the road and was cited for
littering.

7. A grenade thrown into a kitchen in France would result in Linoleum
Blownapart.

8. Two silk worms had a race. They ended up in a tie.

9. A hole has been found in the nudist camp wall. The police are
looking into it.

11. Atheism is a non-prophet organization.

12. Two hats were hanging on a hat rack in the hallway. One hat said to
the other: 'You stay here; I'll go on a head.'

13. I wondered why the baseball kept getting bigger. Then it hit me.

14. A sign on the lawn at a drug rehab center said: 'Keep off the
Grass.'

15. The short fortune-teller who escaped from prison was a small medium
at large.

16. The man who survived mustard gas and pepper spray is now a seasoned
veteran.

17. A backward poet writes inverse.

18. In a democracy it's your vote that counts. In feudalism it's your
count that votes.

19. When cannibals ate a missionary, they got a taste of religion

And that's when the wife shot him!
__________________
"I'm certainly free, nay compelled, to spread the gospel of Spex. " - xoxoxoBruce
Spexxvet is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 05-11-2010, 01:28 PM   #3463
Shawnee123
Why, you're a regular Alfred E Einstein, ain't ya?
 
Join Date: Jun 2006
Posts: 21,206
Punny!
__________________
A word to the wise ain't necessary - it's the stupid ones who need the advice.
--Bill Cosby
Shawnee123 is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 05-11-2010, 01:33 PM   #3464
squirell nutkin
has a second hand user title
 
Join Date: Feb 2006
Location: in a Nut House
Posts: 2,017
Quote:
Originally Posted by DangerouslySimple View Post
Man takes his fish into the veterinarian and says to the doc, "I think my fish has epilepsy."
Doctor takes a look at the fish thru the fishbowl and says, "I don't see anything wrong with him sir. He looks completely healthy."
Before the doctor could usher him out the exam room, the man replied, "Wait doc... Lemme take him outta the bowl!"
My new favorite joke of all time. For now.
__________________
And now I'm finished posting.
squirell nutkin is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 05-15-2010, 11:47 AM   #3465
Nirvana
Back in 10
 
Join Date: Aug 2008
Posts: 3,684
I am so laughing as I post this!



> HAVE YOU EVER
> BEEN GUILTY OF LOOKING AT OTHERS YOUR OWN AGE AND THINKING, SURELY I
> CAN'T LOOK THAT OLD?
> WELL...YOU'LL LOVE THIS ONE.
>
> MY NAME IS ALICE SMITH AND I WAS SITTING IN THE WAITING ROOM FOR MY
> FIRST APPOINTMENT WITH A NEW DENTIST.
> I NOTICED HIS DDS DIPLOMA, WHICH BORE HIS FULL NAME.
> SUDDENLY, I REMEMBERED A TALL, HANDSOME, DARK-HAIRED BOY WITH THE SAME
> NAME HAD BEEN IN MY HIGH SCHOOL CLASS SOME 30-ODD YEARS AGO.
>
>
> COULD HE BE THE SAME GUY THAT I HAD A SECRET CRUSH ON, WAY BACK THEN?
> UPON SEEING HIM, HOWEVER, I QUICKLY DISCARDED ANY SUCH THOUGHT.
> THIS BALDING, GREY-HAIRED MAN WITH THE DEEPLY LINED FACE WAS WAY TOO
> OLD TO HAVE BEEN MY CLASSMATE. AFTER HE EXAMINED MY TEETH, I ASKED HIM
> IF HE HAD ATTENDED MORGAN PARK HIGH SCHOOL .
>
> 'YES. YES, I DID. I'M A MUSTANG,' HE GLEAMED WITH PRIDE.
>
> 'WHEN DID YOU GRADUATE?' I ASKED.
>
> HE ANSWERED, 'IN 1975. WHY DO YOU ASK?'
>
> 'YOU WERE IN MY CLASS!', I EXCLAIMED.
>
> HE LOOKED AT ME CLOSELY.
>
>
> THEN, THAT
>
> UGLY,
>
> OLD,
>
> BALD,
>
> WRINKLED,
>
> FAT ASS,
>
> GREY-HAIRED,
>
> DECREPIT,
>
> SON-OF-A-BITCH ASKED ME :
>
>
> 'WHAT DID YOU TEACH?
__________________
Speaking simply... do not confuse this with having a simple mind.
Nirvana is offline   Reply With Quote
Reply

Tags
humor


Currently Active Users Viewing This Thread: 42 (0 members and 42 guests)
 

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off

Forum Jump

All times are GMT -5. The time now is 08:45 AM.


Powered by: vBulletin Version 3.8.1
Copyright ©2000 - 2024, Jelsoft Enterprises Ltd.