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Old 01-11-2011, 10:50 AM   #3856
monster
I hear them call the tide
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by BrianR View Post
If this doesn't make you laugh, you're having a really bad day.
That's almost a threat! A bit like the Emperor's new clothes
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Old 01-11-2011, 11:00 AM   #3857
Shawnee123
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...and that's when the emperor's clothes fell off.
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Old 01-11-2011, 11:15 AM   #3858
footfootfoot
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It made me laugh the first time I heard. The 35th, not as much.
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Old 01-14-2011, 08:23 AM   #3859
Sheldonrs
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PUNS FOR THOSE WITH A HIGHER IQ

Those who jump off a bridge in Paris are in Seine.
A man's home is his castle, in a manor of speaking.
Dijon vu - the same mustard as before.
Practice safe eating - always use condiments.
Shotgun wedding - A case of wife or death.
A man needs a mistress just to break the monogamy.
A hangover is the wrath of grapes.
Dancing cheek-to-cheek is really a form of floor play.
Does the name Pavlov ring a bell?
Condoms should be used on every conceivable occasion.
Reading while sunbathing makes you well red.
When two egotists meet, it's an I for an I.
A bicycle can't stand on its own because it is two tired.
What's the definition of a will? (It's a dead give away.)
Time flies like an arrow. Fruit flies like a banana.
In democracy your vote counts. In feudalism your count votes.
She was engaged to a boyfriend with a wooden leg but broke it off.
A chicken crossing the road is poultry in motion.
If you don't pay your exorcist, you get repossessed.
With her marriage, she got a new name and a dress.
The man who fell into an upholstery machine is fully recovered.
You feel stuck with your debt if you can't budge it.
Local Area Network in Australia - the LAN down under.
Every calendar's days are numbered.
A lot of money is tainted - Taint yours and taint mine.
A boiled egg in the morning is hard to beat.
He had a photographic memory that was never developed.
A midget fortune-teller who escapes from prison is a small medium at large.
Once you've seen one shopping center, you've seen a mall.
Bakers trade bread recipes on a knead-to-know basis.
Santa's helpers are subordinate clauses.
Acupuncture is a jab well done.
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Old 01-14-2011, 10:30 AM   #3860
xoxoxoBruce
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The descent of man ~ Nixon, Friedman, Reagan, Trump.
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Old 01-14-2011, 12:23 PM   #3861
BigV
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Be Just and Fear Not.
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Old 01-14-2011, 01:36 PM   #3862
Shawnee123
Why, you're a regular Alfred E Einstein, ain't ya?
 
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Johnny Fuckerfaster
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Old 01-14-2011, 02:08 PM   #3863
footfootfoot
To shreds, you say?
 
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"Is there a Fukbrache at this school?"
"Fuck break? We're lucky to get a coffee break."
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Old 01-16-2011, 04:43 AM   #3864
plthijinx
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so this guy ran into god! god says "ask me anything" so he asked him "why did you make women so beautiful?" he says "so you'd like them!" then he asked "why'd you make them smell so good?" again he says "so you'd like them!" so then he asked "why'd you make them so stupid?" then he said "so they'd like you!"
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Old 01-16-2011, 04:44 AM   #3865
plthijinx
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Shawnee123 View Post
Johnny Fuckerfaster
i'm tryin' S123! i'm tryin'!
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Old 01-17-2011, 10:32 AM   #3866
GunMaster357
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Male/Female equality will be achieved on the day when an important position will be awarded to an incompetent woman.
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Old 01-17-2011, 10:45 AM   #3867
Lamplighter
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Quote:
Originally Posted by GunMaster357 View Post
Male/Female equality will be achieved on the day when an important position will be awarded to an incompetent woman.


Maybe in the long, long run that's a reason to vote for Sarah Palin to the US Presidency
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Old 01-17-2011, 01:39 PM   #3868
xoxoxoBruce
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Quote:
Originally Posted by GunMaster357 View Post
Male/Female equality will be achieved on the day when an important position will be awarded to an incompetent woman.
There are no incompetent women, my ex told me so.
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Old 01-17-2011, 10:21 PM   #3869
monster
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Location: Perpetual Chaos
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Quote:
Originally Posted by GunMaster357 View Post
Male/Female equality will be achieved on the day when an important position will be awarded to an incompetent woman.
scary.
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Old 01-17-2011, 10:23 PM   #3870
monster
I hear them call the tide
 
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Posts: 30,852
Quote:
Originally Posted by Lamplighter View Post


Maybe in the long, long run that's a reason to vote for Sarah Palin to the US Presidency
scarier... but can we please avoid politics in this one thread? please?
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