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Old 08-28-2011, 04:02 AM   #4111
UncaDollas
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Old 08-28-2011, 07:52 AM   #4112
GunMaster357
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"Oh shit!" Smart guy got it in one...


Well, shit happens.
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Old 09-02-2011, 11:47 AM   #4113
TheMercenary
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Baptizing an Irishman


An Irishman is stumbling through the woods, totally drunk,
when he comes upon a preacher baptizing people in the river.

He proceeds into the water, subsequently bumping into the preacher.

The preacher turns around and is almost overcome by the smell of alcohol,

hereupon, he asks the drunk, "Are you ready to find Jesus?"

The drunk shouts, "Yes, I am."

So the preacher grabs him and dunks him in the water.

He pulls him back and asks, "Brother, have you found Jesus?"

The drunk replies, "No, I haven't found Jesus!"

The preacher, shocked at the answer, dunks him again but for a little longer.

He again pulls him out of the water and asks, "Have you found Jesus, me brother?"

The drunk answers, "No, I haven't found Jesus!"

By this time, the preacher is at his wits end and dunks the drunk again -- but this time
holds him down for about 30 seconds, and when he begins kicking his arms and legs about,
he pulls him up.
The preacher again asks the drunk, "For the love of God, have you found Jesus?"



The drunk staggers upright, wipes his eyes, coughs up a bit of water,
catches his breath, and says to the preacher,
"Are you sure this is where he fell in?"
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Old 09-02-2011, 11:57 AM   #4114
infinite monkey
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Doc I can't stop singing 'The Green, Green Grass of Home.'

That sounds like Tom Jones syndrome.

Is it common?

It's not unusual.
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Old 09-02-2011, 11:57 AM   #4115
infinite monkey
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A man takes his Rottweiler to the vet. "My dog is cross-eyed, is
there anything you can do for him?" "Well," said the vet, "let's have
a look at him". So he picks the dog up and examines his eyes, then he
checks his teeth. Finally, the vet says, "I'm going to have to put
him down." "What? Because he's cross-eyed?"
"No, because he's really heavy".
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Old 09-02-2011, 12:28 PM   #4116
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*guffaw*
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Old 09-02-2011, 06:05 PM   #4117
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I cackled at Tom Jones Syndrome!

Momdigr will love this one, she is/was a Tom Jones nut.
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Old 09-02-2011, 08:26 PM   #4118
TheMercenary
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Quote:
Originally Posted by infinite monkey View Post
Doc I can't stop singing 'The Green, Green Grass of Home.'

That sounds like Tom Jones syndrome.

Is it common?

It's not unusual.
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Old 09-04-2011, 03:16 PM   #4119
Gravdigr
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That was, uh...something.
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Old 09-05-2011, 09:47 AM   #4120
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The Boss to a lady aspirant to the post of a Secretary:

Boss: "What is the difference between a paper clip and a screw?"

Lady: "I do not know. I have never been paper clipped"
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Old 09-05-2011, 11:30 AM   #4121
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Harass is not two words
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Old 09-05-2011, 11:50 AM   #4122
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Old 09-05-2011, 12:14 PM   #4123
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Quote:
Originally Posted by footfootfoot View Post
Harass is not two words
*chuckles*

I like that one.
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Old 09-05-2011, 09:16 PM   #4124
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Quote:
Originally Posted by footfootfoot View Post
Harass is not two words
but Her ass is.
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Old 09-06-2011, 08:47 AM   #4125
footfootfoot
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and then I laughed
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