Why were you late for work - Page 3

Cicero · 04-07-2009, 10:23 PM

I can't get the crazy squirrel out of my car. It won't leave.

(It was the truth, and I wasn't going to have a batshit crazy squirrel run across my body while driving.)

busterb · 04-07-2009, 11:09 PM

Once while working around Sacramento, CA. I missed about a weeks work. So I went by to get my money and the boss asked me what happened. I asked him" well you want the truth or a lie?" I'd been on a BIG drunk. He put me back to work and I lasted about another 2 weeks and missed more time. I had coonass country on my mine. Been gone about a year. I've never called in sick or anyother reason. If I miss over a few days, I'm sick of the job! Get my time.

Stress Puppy · 04-07-2009, 11:19 PM

There are two reasons that I'm late typically. The first is because my girlfriend is dropping me off that day and she is physically incapable of leaving on time. The second is because the 8-mile bike ride some times takes longer than I anticipate.

Trilby · 04-07-2009, 11:32 PM

how 'bout Plantar Fasciitis? that really hurts, Charlie.

Takes me a good half hour of hobbling in the morning just to get a cuppa; so, I'm late due to hobbling.

Tulip · 04-08-2009, 01:19 AM

The excuse I used today: I forgot to turn my clock forward so it was an hour behind. Hehe.....Yeah, I was an hour late to work today. :p And that was my real, total honest reason. The clock in my bedroom is still an hour behind.

Crimson Ghost · 04-08-2009, 01:49 AM

"I was having 'lady problems'".

"But you're a guy..."

"And my boss is female. Any more questions?"

SteveDallas · 04-08-2009, 10:21 AM

When I pulled into the parking lot, there were only 10 minutes left to go on my audiobook, "How To Backstab Your Coworkers And Totally Ruin Your Boss' Career," so I sat and listened to the end.

Gravdigr · 04-19-2009, 11:44 PM

[Paul Thorn]
Well I was running late for work so I grabbed me some coffee to go
Just before I had a flat tire I spilled it all over my clothes
When the highway patrolman pulled up
I thought that help was on the way
But when he saw that tire tool in my hand
He shot me with the pepper spray

...

When I finally made it to work I was fifteen minutes late
I told my boss about the flat tire but he fired me anyway
So I'm sitting out here in the parking lot waiting by his Corvette
I'm gonna give him a good-bye present he never will forget [/Paul Thorn]

04-07-2009, 10:23 PM	#31
Cicero Looking forward to open mic night. Join Date: Oct 2006 Location: New Mexico Posts: 5,148	I can't get the crazy squirrel out of my car. It won't leave. (It was the truth, and I wasn't going to have a batshit crazy squirrel run across my body while driving.) __________________ Show me a sane man, and I will cure him for you.- Carl Jung

04-07-2009, 11:09 PM	#32
busterb NSABFD Join Date: Jul 2004 Location: MS. usa Posts: 3,908	Once while working around Sacramento, CA. I missed about a weeks work. So I went by to get my money and the boss asked me what happened. I asked him" well you want the truth or a lie?" I'd been on a BIG drunk. He put me back to work and I lasted about another 2 weeks and missed more time. I had coonass country on my mine. Been gone about a year. I've never called in sick or anyother reason. If I miss over a few days, I'm sick of the job! Get my time. __________________ I've haven't left very deep footprints in the sands of time. But, boy I've left a bunch.

04-07-2009, 11:19 PM	#33
Stress Puppy Elite Elitist Join Date: Oct 2002 Location: Fresno, CA Posts: 359	There are two reasons that I'm late typically. The first is because my girlfriend is dropping me off that day and she is physically incapable of leaving on time. The second is because the 8-mile bike ride some times takes longer than I anticipate. __________________ ~Stress Puppy~ Mundus vult decipi, ergo decipiatur

04-07-2009, 11:32 PM	#34
Trilby Slattern of the Swail Join Date: Jul 2004 Posts: 15,654	how 'bout Plantar Fasciitis? that really hurts, Charlie. Takes me a good half hour of hobbling in the morning just to get a cuppa; so, I'm late due to hobbling. __________________ In Barrie's play and novel, the roles of fairies are brief: they are allies to the Lost Boys, the source of fairy dust and ...They are portrayed as dangerous, whimsical and extremely clever but quite hedonistic. "Shall I give you a kiss?" Peter asked and, jerking an acorn button off his coat, solemnly presented it to her. —James Barrie Wimminfolk they be tricksy. - ZenGum

04-08-2009, 01:49 AM	#36
Crimson Ghost Larger than life and twice as ugly. Join Date: Apr 2004 Posts: 5,264	"I was having 'lady problems'". "But you're a guy..." "And my boss is female. Any more questions?" __________________ We must all go through a rite of passage. It must be physical, it must be painful, and it must leave a mark. I have no knowledge of the events which you are describing, and if I did have knowledge of them, I would be unable to discuss them with you now or at any future period. Don't waste your time always searching for those wasted years

04-08-2009, 01:19 AM	#35
Tulip Professor Join Date: May 2008 Location: Houston, TX Posts: 1,293	The excuse I used today: I forgot to turn my clock forward so it was an hour behind. Hehe.....Yeah, I was an hour late to work today. :p And that was my real, total honest reason. The clock in my bedroom is still an hour behind.

04-08-2009, 10:21 AM	#37
SteveDallas Your Bartender Join Date: Jan 2002 Location: Philly Burbs, PA Posts: 7,651	When I pulled into the parking lot, there were only 10 minutes left to go on my audiobook, "How To Backstab Your Coworkers And Totally Ruin Your Boss' Career," so I sat and listened to the end.

04-19-2009, 11:44 PM	#38
Gravdigr The Un-Tuckian Join Date: Apr 2007 Location: South Central...KY that is Posts: 39,517	[Paul Thorn] Well I was running late for work so I grabbed me some coffee to go Just before I had a flat tire I spilled it all over my clothes When the highway patrolman pulled up I thought that help was on the way But when he saw that tire tool in my hand He shot me with the pepper spray ... When I finally made it to work I was fifteen minutes late I told my boss about the flat tire but he fired me anyway So I'm sitting out here in the parking lot waiting by his Corvette I'm gonna give him a good-bye present he never will forget [/Paul Thorn] __________________ These statements have not been evaluated by the FDA, EPA, FBI, DEA, CDC, or FDIC. These statements are not intended to diagnose, cause, treat, cure, or prevent any disease. If you feel you have been harmed/offended by, or, disagree with any of the above statements or images, please feel free to fuck right off.

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