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#436 | |
The Un-Tuckian
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: South Central...KY that is
Posts: 39,517
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Quote:
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![]() These statements have not been evaluated by the FDA, EPA, FBI, DEA, CDC, or FDIC. These statements are not intended to diagnose, cause, treat, cure, or prevent any disease. If you feel you have been harmed/offended by, or, disagree with any of the above statements or images, please feel free to fuck right off. |
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#437 |
barely disguised asshole, keeper of all that is holy.
Join Date: Nov 2007
Posts: 23,401
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Jeff Foxworthy on Muslims..
"YOU MIGHT BE A MUSLIM IF..." 1. You refine heroin for a living, but you have a moral objection to liquor. 2. You own a $3,000 machine gun & $5,000 rocket launcher, but you can't afford shoes. 3. You have more wives than teeth. 4. You wipe your butt with your bare hand, but consider bacon unclean." 5. You think vests come in two styles: bullet-proof and suicide. 6. You can't think of anyone you haven't declared Jihad against. 7. You consider television dangerous, but routinely carry explosives in your clothing. 8. You were amazed to discover that cell phones have uses other than setting off roadside bombs. 9. You have nothing against women and think every man should own at least four. 10. Your cousin is president of the United States
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"like strapping a pillow on a bull in a china shop" Bullitt |
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#438 |
Person who doesn't update the user title
Join Date: Jul 2002
Location: Southern California
Posts: 6,674
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"The trouble with Obama jokes is Obama's supporters don't think they're funny and nobody else thinks they're jokes."
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Wanna stop school shootings? End Gun-Free Zones, of course. |
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#439 |
Professor
Join Date: Apr 2010
Location: Brest (FRANCE)
Posts: 1,837
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What's the difference between a virgin, a whore and a bitch?
Well, a virgin fucks with no one, the whore fucks with anyone.... ...and the bith fucks with anyone.... ... but you!
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"War is God's way of teaching Americans geography." - Ambrose Bierce |
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#440 |
Professor
Join Date: Apr 2010
Location: Brest (FRANCE)
Posts: 1,837
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I asked my wife where she wanted to go for our anniversary, 'Somewhere I haven't been for a long time' she said. So I suggested the kitchen.
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"War is God's way of teaching Americans geography." - Ambrose Bierce |
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#441 |
Professor
Join Date: Apr 2010
Location: Brest (FRANCE)
Posts: 1,837
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What's the difference between an angry man and a gay Arab?
One of them is shaking a fist; the other is fisting a Sheikh.
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"War is God's way of teaching Americans geography." - Ambrose Bierce |
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#442 |
To shreds, you say?
Join Date: Aug 2004
Location: in the house and on the street-how many, many feet we meet!
Posts: 18,449
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Great!
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The internet is a hateful stew of vomit you can never take completely seriously. - Her Fobs |
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#443 |
Professor
Join Date: Apr 2010
Location: Brest (FRANCE)
Posts: 1,837
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What do spinach and anal sex have in common?
If you were forced to have it as a kid, you'll hate it as an adult.
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"War is God's way of teaching Americans geography." - Ambrose Bierce |
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#444 |
barely disguised asshole, keeper of all that is holy.
Join Date: Nov 2007
Posts: 23,401
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Mohamed's first day of school
Mohamed entered his classroom on the first day of school. "What's your name?" asked the teacher. "Mohamed," he replied. "You're in America now," replied the teacher, "So from now on you will be known as Kevin." Mohamed returned home after school. "How was your day, Mohamed?" his mother asked. "My name is not Mohamed. I'm in America and now my name is Kevin." "Are you ashamed of your name? Are you trying to dishonor your parents, your heritage, your religion? Shame on you!" And his mother beat him. Then she called his father, told him what happened and he beat him again. The next day Mohamed returned to school. The teacher saw all of his bruises. "What happened to you, Kevin? she asked. "Well ma'am, shortly after becoming an American, I was attacked by two fuckin' Arabs
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"like strapping a pillow on a bull in a china shop" Bullitt |
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#445 |
Dirty cigarette-smoking lowlife
Join Date: Jul 2008
Location: Michigan
Posts: 85
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A guy gets out of prison after two years. His wife and kids pick him up at the main gate.
The guy says to his wife, "F.F." His wife responds, "E.F." The man says, no "F.F." The wife says, "No way-E.F." This goes on for about five minutes before one of the kids asks, " What the hell are you people talking about?" The father responds " Your mom wants to eat first." |
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#446 |
Dirty cigarette-smoking lowlife
Join Date: Jul 2008
Location: Michigan
Posts: 85
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What's red, screams and goes around in circles?
A baby with its foot nailed to the floor. |
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#447 |
Professor
Join Date: Apr 2010
Location: Brest (FRANCE)
Posts: 1,837
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Two years ago, for Valentine's Day you gave her flowers. They lasted a day.
Last year, you gave her a box of chocolates. It lasted a week. This year, give her herpes. It'll last forever.
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"War is God's way of teaching Americans geography." - Ambrose Bierce |
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#448 |
Professor
Join Date: Apr 2010
Location: Brest (FRANCE)
Posts: 1,837
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Bob walks into his local pharmacy and the pharmacist say:
- "Hey there Bob, what can I get ya?" - "A box of condoms" replies Bob. - "Condoms?" says the pharmacist. "You and the wife having safe sex now.?" - "Naw, there for my daughter" says Bob. - "Your daughter?Cindy! Shes only 15. Your daughter is sexually active at 15?!" says the pharmacist. - "Active! Hell no she isnt active" says Bob. "She practically just lays there!"
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"War is God's way of teaching Americans geography." - Ambrose Bierce |
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#449 |
Professor
Join Date: Apr 2010
Location: Brest (FRANCE)
Posts: 1,837
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What's the difference between a whore and a pet shop seller ?
The whore can sell the same pussy more than once... ...provided that is has been cleaned
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"War is God's way of teaching Americans geography." - Ambrose Bierce |
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#450 |
Radical Centrist
Join Date: Jan 2001
Location: Cottage of Prussia
Posts: 31,423
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The Eagles announced on their FB page that ex-coach Buddy Ryan is battling cancer. I got on there and posted, "beat this like an offensive coordinator."
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